Showing posts with label marketing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marketing. Show all posts

Elizabeth Rocks!

Okay, it may not look like it, but this theme ALSO began in Austin... well, it BEGAN when I decided to come out of the closet as a writer and stumbled across Elizabeth, but it was certainly reinforced in Austin.





The Austin Part




Stacy and I talked writing, quite a lot... It is to be expected... we have been friends about 6 years, but both of us just managed our first publishing contracts within the last year, so we paced and worked and toiled together, and now we are panicking together...



The first question, if I am keeping things straight, came when we were talking promotional plan... see... I signed on for a well-oiled machine, and have not yet been ASKED my promotional plan, where Stacy said it was a very stressful thing. My response? When the time comes, I am going to look and see what ELIZABETH does and I'll do that (certainly not so well, but it is a GOOD plan, and so I will aspire to it).



The next one... Stacy was bowing to my blogging prowess... because... you know... you guys are fabulous, and somehow you are all reading ME... (of course I am reading most of YOU, too...) but Stacy said she didn't know how I blogged almost every day. “Do you know anyone who blogs every day?” And you know what? I DO! Elizabeth!






I only wear glasses to see...
The last one I remember, though I'm sure there were at least a few more... we were waiting in line to go through the metal detector into the capitol (didn't even manage to be frisked—RATS!) and Stacy brought up taxes... and did I know you could deduct your writing space... and I said, “Well of course I know! From Elizabeth!”



We laughed considerably that Elizabeth was the answer to every question, but in a way that was full of admiration and fun. It's nice to be able to find all the answers in one spot.





The Primary Lesson



You see... I can be a little flighty (mostly memory stuff) but I have a pretty firm grasp on what I know and don't know. It became clear VERY FAST after joining this blogging community that there was A LOT to learn...



You know what ELSE I know? It is FAR EASIER to learn from someone who knows what they are doing... someone open to questions when you need answers... rather than digging and sorting fact from fiction and having trouble finding the pertinent information.






source
The best move I made in this social networking thing was identifying someone doing everything right... someone generous with her knowledge... and following her around.



Her style and mine are relatively opposite, Elizabeth is helpful, where I am more the frivolous version. But it has helped me over and over and over again to know where to look when I am trying to figure something out.



Whatever it is you want to do, figure out who is doing it right, and go ahead... shamelessly follow, ask, praise... You will learn what you need... You will get something... THEY will get something.







How do I know that?



Among my ABNA friends I've had a few strokes in that direction—thanks for guiding... pushing, sharing... it feels good. It builds good will.



Writing, unlike other professions, doesn't HAVE to have losers to have winners. If we ALL succeed, the whole business benefits and we all win. It is one of the few places I've seen that competition really has great will between competitors. Today they are supposed to announce the ABNA finalists, and I will cheer and be THRILLED for the winners... I've had a really good ride. I've made a lot of friends, learned a lot... and honestly, I think I've helped a few people. It is a win for all.



And to everyone who says to me, 'holy cow! How did you get 500+ blog followers?' I am THRILLED to point at Elizabeth and say she showed me how.





Speaking of, Elizabeth has a book release next month as Riley Adams: Finger Lickin' Dead. Watch for it! (she is visiting here the 14th)

Defining Integrity

Jessica Faust got me thinking this week with this post about product placement in the e-books, and as always happens, my brain started skipping all over, taking various tangents, so I thought maybe we'd explore together what exactly author integrity was. There are easy lines and hard lines and a lot of gray area in between... ready for a trip?!





The EASY Line



No plagiarism, ne? Easy peasy line. Never take credit for anybody else's stuff. And it's always great to have your own totally original book... every thought from your own brain. Never wrong, right?



But what is your opinion on ghost writers? Is that ever okay? Do you think less of the WRITER of those, or only the person taking credit when someone else wrote it? What about when the ghost writer gets credit... a nice 'with' to go after the name of the supposed author. Then there are the collaborative efforts with a big 'James Patterson' and a little 'peon writer'. Or the gigs like I've got going, where an editor comes up with a broad brushed plan and the writer then writes the book.



And what about people who write gossip about other peoples' lives? Is that okay? Only if they get permission? If it's a public figure? If the person is REALLY obnoxious? If you do it in SECRET and you call it FICTION?







What About the Ideas?



It would be SO SO wrong to sit in a coffee shop and overhear a writer telling her BFF about her great new idea and then go write that book. Even if you felt sure the writer was LOUSY and couldn't execute it, it is STILL wrong to steal the idea.



But there are supposedly only SEVEN plots! So how the heck are we SUPPOSED to have original ideas? I saw a parallel recently (wish I could remember who... one of my blog buddies) of Star Wars and Eragon... It was BRILLIANT how parallel the two stories ran, yet I'd never noticed until it was laid out for me. They don't FEEL the same. They don't SEEM the same. I'm willing to bet it wasn't intentional on Paolini's part.



We read. We watch. We talk. And over time the stories become a part of us. It would hardly be fair to disallow anything that had some prior iterations. If Romeo and Juliet disallowed West Side Story and Grease... sad. Though we also wouldn't have Twilight, so that's something *shifty* I think that is one of the functions of the publishing industry... filtering out the 'not fresh enough' new versions of old stuff from the new enough twists.





How Do You Spell SELL-OUT?



This gets into that whole product placement discussion... it is of course widespread to include the name of a product in books. Characters drink Coca-cola, or chew Excedrin, or eat Krispy Kremes. It is what real people do. It would be an unrealistic expectation to leave all of that out. But to put them in on purpose in order to get paid by the manufacturer? How would that work? Would the manufacturer request it from certain authors? Or would authors write in products left and write hoping for an endorsement after the fact? When there is product placement on television or movies, then the manufacture often gets approval rights, or it has to be removed. Does the book industry want to enter that quagmire?



What about special requests? Do you incorporate a story twist or a character because somebody wants you to?





So Because I Can't Help Myself



My opinion on the matter is that as long as we are learning and growing, then what we write is good for us. YES, there are times to consider pen names and such, if you have 'higher aspirations'... The fan fiction I started with uses someone elses' characters... hit a couple plot points... and developed and grew. I am going to watch the product thing. It depends on how obtrusive it is... a hyperlink might be okay, not a flashy ad. My opinions aren't quite as lenient for the side USING ghost writers... I can live with it if there is credit, but I don't think I quite approve.  But from the WRITER'S end... we do what we need to to grow, and if we can find a route to get paid in the process, I'm okay with that.  I also think we should give credit where conscious decisions were made to use ideas from here or there--ESPECIALLY from any living author's work or living person's suggestion.  It's just the right thing to do.



So what are your opinions? What are the lines you won't cross? Which ones are okay?

Your Quest!!!

A quest? Good idear oh, Lord!



Of COURSE it's a good idea. I AM God!




[erm... that was Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail, lest anyone think I'm suffering a god complex, though if you are here, and are not yet familiar with the Holy Grail, then I fart in your general direction! BUY IT! You will want to watch it repeatedly.]



IN FACT, I think we need to make a little JOURNEY on this little Quest, I think...



We will need a pair of coconut shells apiece, fine silk yarn to knit exciting underwear, a llama, a moose, possibly some very small rocks and a PRAM to make the guy with the deep voice push it a lot. Oh, and a tool box to build a large wooden rabbit...





So back to a little backstory...





Okay, yesterday I went to Cozy Chicks blog and got a whole bunch of STATISTICS!!!! You know how excited I get by statistics... I'm freaky that way. The PRIMARY point of the blog was how much work was needed for how LITTLE money. But one of the POINTS brought up (in relation to fan email)(ACTION POINT!!!!) was the following:



The author loves getting fan mail, but one of the commenters pointed out that the fan love that can be taken to the BANK is positive comments on Amazon, or Barnes & Noble...  At the VERY LEAST authors need enough fan love in this form to balance the mean snarks who seem to have nothing better to do than criticizing everyone...





So YOUR QUEST is this:



If you have recently (or even not particularly recently) read a book by a newer author (or even a more established author) and you loved or even liked it—GO REVIEW! Go to Amazon, pick a couple books, write a couple reviews, give a couple stars. Because there are people making book purchasing decisions BASED ON stars and reviews.  And if you LIKED the book, why not help the author out?  (the karma may come back, ne?)



http://www.amazon.com/



http://www.barnesandnoble.com/



And I think that is it for today, as I am WAY behind on my typing... so Quest on, my lovely minions!

Pslushpile

That P is because it is only a Pseudo Slushpile, but PseudoPslush seemed like overkill... Oh, yeah, I get that if I have to explain the title, it's a fail, but too much seemed worse than clever followed by an explanation... erm... or did at the time.



So what am I talking about?



I had to go through a pile of mostly COMPLETELY incompatible MUCK this week for the first time in two years. You see, in my DAY JOB, I am the supervisor... Now y'all don't need to laugh that somebody put me in charge... I get the irony. But the STORY of it THAT MATTERS, is I FELT for a moment like an agent wading through slush.



Michigan has been in the bottom three economies in the US for going on 10 years now. It has NEVER ranked better than 48 (pretty bad, when you consider they measure these things every month... that is 120 TIMES we've been in the bottom 3). It's bad—lotta people unemployed. But on top of that, 2 years ago, at UM, my employer, a hiring freeze went into effect. NO NEW JOBS. NONE. NADA. ZILCH. ZIPPO. That means the ONLY HIRING DONE is to replace people who leave (100% grant funded positions aside, but don't even get me STARTED on how much harder it has gotten to get grant money—since about 2002 in fact, because the Bush Administration didn't believe in science, and Obama came into this financial MESS). So for my measly Admin/Research position, in a week of posting, there were 81 applicants.



Guess who got to weed them?



If you guessed me, you wouldn't be too far off. Pretty much I had to go through ALL, and I put them in three piles: “Good God, no.” “Possibly, if I've interpreted what my boss wants wrong.” and “Now we're getting somewhere.”



Then I take piles 2 and 3 to my boss so SHE can determine whether she agrees with me or not, and we decide who to interview. (she liked 7 of my 12 yes ones and 1 of my 20 maybes: not too bad for agreement) Might be worth it to note SOME of my Yes's she didn't like had to do with things like odd font changes—you see, the person will be sending correspondence in her name, and so she wants them to have good aesthetic judgment. The reason I am telling YOU, is you never know when somebody might get picky on you for ODD stuff. It ALL needs to be right, so the only thing they have to evaluate on is YOUR WORK.





But the point of this POST (yes, there is a point)... strike that... there are TWO points...



[note: this is a Debbie Ohi cartoon]



1) I felt like an agent weeding through a slushpile... SO MANY PEOPLE either didn't read what we were looking for, or were just desperately grasping at straws when we were NOT THE JOB FOR THEM.



Among these were people who couldn't even be bothered to personalize the darned letter—this REALLY stuck out to me. How bad could they possibly want the job if they couldn't change the sentence from 'a position in human resources' to 'a position as an administrative assistant'. For Pete's sake! At LEAST individualize it to the right freaking JOB LISTING!



This is TOTALLY something I can see causing an auto reject in an agent pile... Querying for genres they don't pub, calling them the wrong name... saying 'to whom it may concern'. If you are serious, you have to be a professional, which means bothering to do a little darned homework! Find out who you are sending the Query to!



2) The other thing I noticed is I have become a rather bitchy person where letter writing skills are concerned. If someone wasn't professional? NO. If someone had poor grammar? NO. And no small number of people were moved UP a pile (no to maybe or maybe to yes) strictly for their ability to communicate well in letter form. I've become a prose junky. So it is worth it to spend the time on writing the query WELL. And it is REALLY REALLY worth it to spend the time making sure you haven't made a BONEHEAD of yourself by thoughtlessly firing off impersonal sludge. Know your audience, personalize and then POLISH.







BONUS CONTENT! Getting to Know you *shifty*



This is going around, but I copied it from Rosie, one of my new friends via the Burrowers, Books & Balderdash where there is a new IMAGE up today if you want to participate in the Drabble contest (I think it is one of Rayna's photographs, which are ALWAYS cool, though I am writing before it is posted, so if I am wrong, don't sue me...).



Anyway... More about ME! *cough*These are the questions...



1.What is YOUR definition of sexy?

2.Would you rather clean up puke or change a poopy diaper?

3. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

4. If you had to give up one of your 5 senses for a year..which one would you give up?

5. Cake or Pie?

6. If you could play any character on TV (old or current) who would you play?

7. My favorite website is.....?

8. The highlight of my day is....?





1) Sexy is this mind meld thing that happens with a direct stare in which you and the other person really GET each other. It can be as purely sexual as what I get looking at Captain Jack (his eyes HAVE that look that somehow don't require bi-directional contact) or as personal as truly and deeply knowing somebody. It can appear instantly in a person you've known for years because you've had a strange dream, or learned something, whereby you touched their soul for an instance. It is typically playful, sometimes a little dangerous, and ALWAYS makes me feel naked.



2)  Poopy diaper. I'm not a huge fan of poop, but everybody poops, even when healthy. Puke is a sign of illness, and so adds fright (and a smell that turns my stomach, instead of just one that is unpleasant) to the task at hand. And a poopy diaper is CONTAINED... (usually, there was an exploding diaper or two when my kids were small) Puke is almost always somewhere it shouldn't BE. *ponders why firefox doesn't like the word poopy*



3)  Introvert. I really LIKE people, but I am not particularly SKILLED with them in a real world setting. And I need a TON of down time. I like being alone.(well... with my characters, I mean) I guess the deciding factor comes with the question, if you had to ALWAYS be with people (no alone time) or NEVER be with people, which which you choose. Yeah... I'm a never. (though the middle ground is preferable)



4)  Probably taste. Much of it can be made up for with smell, and maybe if I couldn't taste much, I'd be less tempted to overdo it. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE tasty stuff, but it is where my biggest control problem lies, so giving it up for a year might be good for me.





5)  Pie. I LIKE cake, but I like pie better.



6)  Sidney Bristow. Oh, sure... lots of parental drama, but she kicked butt, was gorgeous, got to do REALLY cool stuff, and married Michael Vaughn in the end... I could be Sidney.



7)  Probably Blogger, possibly Facebook... used to be HPANA... where my friends are, basically.



8)  WRITING TIME. At about 8:30 each day, I GET NAKED, run a bath, fix a drink, do a Sudoku, and then I WRITE. LOVE that time.



So there we have it. Now you know me!  Well not Biblically... but pretty well anyway...





AND THIS JUST IN:  July 18 is National Ice Cream Day.  Eat some.  And that's an order!

Riley's In Da House!!!

And by Riley, I mean Elizabeth, which might be confusing, unless you know that Riley Adams is the pen name for Elizabeth Spann Craig on her Memphis Barbeque series... And when she and I first started talking guest blogs, she asked what I thought you guys would like, and I said—MY READERS WANT TO BE SMARTER than all those OTHER NEWBIE AUTHORS out there... They want to learn what YOU have learned, since most of us are a little (or a lot) earlier in our careers, and this is now your THIRD book release... (and you know what? She agreed—so in just ONE BLOG you will be smarter than all the other newbies! HA!)



[Digression:  I'd seen the tiny cover, but when you sent the version to upload--that is GORGEOUS!  It'd make a good poster, ye know?] *cough* Okay, back to it.



[Second Digression and BREAKING NEWS:  Elizabeth got notice from her agent of her first and second week sales number, and it's official:  Next book she gets to put 'National Best Selling Author'!  SQUEEEEEEEEE!  --come on, do it with me-- SQUEEEEEEEEEE!  Congratulations, Elizabeth!]



I am so glad Elizabeth agreed to guest blog here, as I've loved all the guests I've had visit, but it is just a little more exciting when it is a friend of yours presenting their cool stuff, plus, my friend Leanne says Elizabeth is the Queen of little old lady cozies. So there.





Welcome, Elizabeth... erm... Riley... Elizabeth! 





18 Things I’ve Learned About Marketing


For most of us, promo is the least favorite part of the writing process, even ranking under revision and agent pitches. For me, there’s really nothing that comes naturally about selling—so I’ve had to work at it. Publishers expect it, and with the competitive nature of the book market today, it’s really a necessity if you want to keep your books on the shelf.



I’ve promoted books from tiny publishers to very large ones. Here are some things I’ve learned:



Send out postcards early—3-5 months ahead of publication is great. Many bookstores do their ordering early. Postcards should have your name, the book’s name, the publisher’s name, the ISBN number, the price of the book, the release date, book cover, and—if possible—a short review snippet if you’ve gotten one.



Bookmarks are very useful promotional tools for handing out at signings or leaving at bookstores or libraries (ask first). You can either design your own on Microsoft Publisher (which comes with Microsoft Office) and have a copy shop print and laminate them, or you can use an online printer like Iconix or Print Place.



If you write for a small or even medium-sized publisher, it’s good to make contact with bookstores to see if they are carrying your book or could carry it. If you’re going in person, bring your business cards. Either write the ISBN # of your book on your card, or have it printed there. If you’re on the phone, ask for the store’s community relations managers (CRMs) or else your marketing spiel might be wasted on someone who has a line at the cash register and wants you to call back later. Small stores get busy and don’t have large staffs. Be sure to ask if it’s a good time for you to talk to them about your book.



Libraries are a great market for writers. Again, send postcards early. Go to WorldCat.org, which searches libraries for content worldwide. You just plug in your book’s name, hit the search button, and find the results. For a listing of public libraries, go to Public Libraries.com. You’ll get physical addresses, phone numbers, and websites (from which you can get the library’s email address).Send the acquisitions librarian an email or postcard with your cover photo, ISBN number, title of the book, publisher’s name, your name, release date, short summary, and any good review snippets. They especially like reviews from the Library Journal if you were reviewed there.





Have a script for calling stores: After getting the CRM on the phone and making sure it’s a good time for them to talk, I usually say something like this:



My name. That I have an upcoming release on ______date for my _____ genre book. Could they order a couple of copies for their shelves? I mention my publisher’s name. I give them the ISBN. While they look up the ISBN on the computer (to see if it’s in their warehouse), I briefly share my good reviews. I have quick summary ready if they ask what the book is about. Sometimes they ask if I’m interested in a signing, so I have my day planner near.



Tip: Barnes and Noble wanted all of the information emailed to their CRM. This was very easy for me.



Tip: Independent bookstores sometimes ask the price of the book, its format (trade paperback, hardback, etc.) and whether it’s possible to get signed copies. Be ready to answer those questions. Link to IndyBound on your website instead of Amazon. Be a friend to independent booksellers.



Tip: Always be pleasant. The folks at bookstores have to deal with so many unpleasant authors and members of the public that it’s nice to stand out in a good way.





Signing stock: This is a nice way to set your book apart from the pack at the bookstore. You should definitely make a point of signing your books at your local stores—obviously asking the manager of the store first (you may even have to produce your driver’s license to show you’re the author.) I like signing stock. My books have a nice “autographed copy” sticker on them, which may make a reader decide to buy my novel over someone else’s. And I haven’t had to have a signing, which is definitely more work. Signing stock is a great idea if you’re traveling for a vacation or work, too.



Book signings—I’ve been to signings where there was a great-sized turnout and ones where I didn’t sell a copy. The most successful ones I’ve been to are signings in towns where I knew people or had family or family friends there. They got the word out about the signing very nicely.



The store will provide you with a small table and chair, but it’s better if you stand unless you’re signing. You can smile, greet people, and ask if they’d like a free bookmark. This gives you an opening to talk about your book usually (“Do you like reading mysteries? Here’s a little about my book…”) This is hard for me. I’ve gotten to the point where I can offer the bookmarks, though.





Some writers have a bowl of candy and other small giveaways at the table, too. I think it’s a good way to bring shoppers over. I’ve also seen authors put their book trailer on a loop and set their laptop up on their table…it definitely seems to attract attention.



There will be people who want to talk to you at your signing. They will want to talk to you the entire time at your signing about their book, that they’re writing. And they will not buy your book…and they will keep you from people who want to buy your book and talk with you about it. The best thing to do is to give these folks your card, circle your email address and say, “I wish I had the time to talk with you about your writing right now. Can you shoot me an email later?” And email them back when they write.



Broaden your signing scope—craft fairs? Art fairs? Festivals? Be sure to check out the cost of a booth. Does your book appeal to a specific group of readers? I know writers who’ve written books where crafts were the book’s hook: quilting, scrapbooking, knitting. Consider contacting clubs and guilds and asking to do a talk for their monthly meeting or to give them bookmarks to hand out.



Do promo as a group. Sometimes it can make sense to pool resources and promote with other area writers. I belong to a couple of promo groups—we take each others’ bookmarks to events, swap marketing ideas, split booth fees for art festivals and even carpool to out of town events.



Blog tours are great ways to increase your profile online and make people realize your release is out. At the same time, blog tours can be stressful. Find out when your post will run…in which time zone. Find out what your host will do to check in and make sure things are running smoothly during the day (no spammers, nothing weird happening with comments, etc.) You’ll want to try to schedule stops at blogs where you might pick up some new readers along the way.



Book tours are expensive, but even a small-scale, regional tour can make a nice spike in sales for your publisher. Popular now is having a name and slogan for your tour (I’ve got one in mid-August with several other mystery writers…it’s the Killer Cozies tour.) Again, you could consider touring with other authors to share costs.



Conferences are great ways to meet readers, promote your book, and network. They are also expensive. Figure out which conferences will give you the most bang for your buck—is there one that your publishers will have more of a presence at? One your editor might be attending, or your agent? Is there one that more of your target reader is likely to attend? Book conferences early for discounts on the conference registration fee and airline tickets.





It’s important to let people know you write books. Acquaintances might be interested in making a trip to the store or downloading a copy of your book to their Kindle—but they can’t if they don’t know you have a book out. This is hard for me, too. It’s easier if I have a friend with me or if my husband mentions prompts me. “Oh, and Elizabeth has some exciting news…”



Rejection continues to happen…from reviewers or reader reviews. It’s best to take whatever kernel of helpful tip you can glean from the criticism and move on. Arguing with reviewers online or being defensive about your book just doesn’t serve a purpose and never makes you look good.





Don’t hand out all your author copies to friends and family. In fact, don’t hand out any, unless it’s a special circumstance. You need all those copies for reviewers, contests, etc. It sounds harsh, but these books don’t cost much—really, $6.99 is barely more than a cup of Starbucks. Practice telling friends, “You know, I’d love to sign any book you bring to me…I wish I had a free copy for you, but those are all sent to reviewers. Thanks for understanding.”





Don’t forget about area book clubs. Some book clubs meet in local bookstores (ask the stores if they have contact information) or libraries.



Keep ALL your receipts related to writing—paper, pencils, printer paper, etc.—for your taxes.

Send out interviews that are ready to print to newspapers. Include a headshot and tell the paper that the picture is copyright free and the interview can be edited for length. Put a press kit on your author website with royalty-free headshots, a high resolution book cover, your publisher’s publicity contact info, a ready-to-print interview, bio, and your contact info in it.



I recommend joining the Yahoo Group, Murder Must Advertise. It’s all about book promo—and it’s not just for mystery writers.



Thanks so much, Hart, for having me here today! I love hanging out at Confessions of a Watery Tart.  Does anyone have any questions or any other tips to add?





Bio: Elizabeth writes the Memphis Barbeque series for Penguin as Riley Adams, the Myrtle Clover series for Midnight Ink (under her own name), and blogs daily at Mystery Writing is Murder. Delicious and Suspicious released July 6, 2010. As the mother of two, Elizabeth writes on the run as she juggles duties as Brownie leader, referees play dates, drives carpools, and is dragged along as a hostage/chaperone on field trips.

http://mysterywritingismurder.blogspot.com

http://mysteryloverskitchen.com

Twitter: @elizabethscraig

Why Blog?

Oh, I know. I am preaching to the choir in here—all of YOU get it! You are among the Blogosphere ROCK STARS, practicing this divine art day in and day out, but I've recently had a couple reminders that not everybody gets it: one courtesy of READING the THINGS, the OTHER courtesy of me fumbling around in a social network that I have not yet mastered.





Confusion Defined


I saw several blogs, maybe three weeks ago on whether authors needed blogs to sell books. There was some decent advice mixed in, but I think, frankly, they were addressing the wrong question, because the relationship is not as direct as that sentence would lead us to believe.



The second case was me fumbling around on Goodreads, stumbling into a forum to have a conversation about books... who did I seek out? Writers, of course. But... not knowing the system, I 'searched' for writers and stumbled into a group that I THINK is younger, and REMINDED me of talking to the ABNA folks about blogging, only more so. There was a conversation about 'how to go about publishing' with the usual 'well there is this and that self publishing' and a couple—blah blah blah 'publisher' and a single suggestion of 'I think you need an agent'. I was singularly IMPRESSED with how GOLL DARNED MUCH I HAVE LEARNED in the last year... thanks to you.





Running With It


(not the scissors this time)



The Missing the Point Point: *cough*  If you are blogging to reach readers and convince them to buy your book, you are either ALREADY FAMOUS or delusional. No, I don't mind either one, but I just need to be REALLY CLEAR. Readers do NOT LOOK for blogs of DEBUT AUTHORS. People who WRITE may FIND AUTHORS and then become curious to read their books (it's happened to me--I've read some of YOUR books) but non-writing readers are not going to go about it that way. DO NOT BLOG TO REACH READERS.



You can blog to CONNECT with ALREADY readers... this is a very good plan, I'd say... very nice for an author website to include a blog. I've seen suggestions of telling where book ideas came from, telling some little bit that is more PERSONAL (though warnings not to overshare—especially to consider your genre and how compatible YOU and your GENRE are in the reader's brain) that readers might not find elsewhere, giving a little process on where you are on the NEXT books... Go for it. Just know the only people reading are either there because they ALREADY read you, or because they are ALSO social networking.



The way you increase book sales by blogging is by expanding that 'on the ground' force... the BUZZ creators, the people who get to know you over months or years, who end up LIKING you well enough to follow through on such things as: “if you go into your local book store, will you make sure my book is there and email me if not?” or “Here is my book tour schedule, if you are in the area can you please show up so I don't sit there looking like an idiot?” or “My book is coming out Saturday, will you please Tweet, facebook share, and include on your blog?” The more people willing to answer YES to those questions, the better your chance of not flopping. You are NOT finding BUYERS, you are finding Co-Marketers.



And I would argue you SHOULD blog for your karma. This blogosphere will help YOU, so when you succeed, you should blog to help the writers who come behind you. They really could USE your wealth of knowledge.





The Not Getting It Point


I don't know HOW MANY blogs I've seen with three or four posts, all about the book. HELLO—you are shouting into NOTHINGNESS. I saw the MOST FABULOUS post yesterday—it is a few weeks old, but you need to see what Maureen Johnson has to say on the matter. It is a FALL DOWN funny read, but her main point is that all of YOU are people. You heard me. You are NOT a figment of my imagination, no matter HOW MANY times you tell yourself you are. What that means for ME, is I can't just talk AT you, I have to talk TO YOU. I need to listen to what you say and respond. I need to visit your blog and comment on what YOU have to say. Bloggers who fail to see this will not get their loyal following.



Now I know people who blog for DEEP relationships and don't go searching down lots of followers—and I totally RESPECT that—they STILL follow, comment, and interact with the dozen or so blogs they ARE connected with. They GET that it is two way, and are making a decision (usually about TIME) that they will only do what they can do well... Not everybody can keep track of 400 blogs and still be a superstar *cough*Elizabeth*cough*



But no matter WHAT you need to get that this process is interactive. Sure, Nathan Bransford has never once responded to me. You know what... You look like that and let me picture you naked, I will probably read you anyway... erm... actually... I read Pub Rants, Janet Reid, Editorial Ass and the Rejectionist too (all women)—NONE of whom to I expect responses from. I also read Nicola Morgan, who just manages to say helpful things pretty often, but I don't comment... as one of 700, I don't feel obliged... but for those of us with followers under... maybe 500, definitely those under 200... the comments keep us going. You want comments... you comment.



BUT THE PERK!!!!



And I can't emphasize this enough—by reading, (feeling obliged to comment, feeling compelled to share) I have managed to LEARN A TON about this publishing industry, the world of BOTH WRITING and GETTING PUBLISHED that I never would have gotten from a book. I probably couldn't have gotten it from an individual, even though there are masters at it. It just HELPS to see things a dozen different ways. There are freaks (and I include myself here) who even learn better by TEACHING. If I have to articulate something (like today) I manage to grind it into my head far enough that I never forget it.





AND THE EVEN BIGGER PERK!!!

(and the MAIN reason I personally blog). I LIKE IT. We should do this because we enjoy it. Otherwise it SHOWS and it is hard to sustain.Listen to Maureen...  HAVE MORE FUN!!!



I blogged once before about HOW to blog, and I don't think THAT has changed, but I think there was the piece missing on WHY to blog... so now you know.

Compaesthetics

Am I trying too hard now, on the making up words thing? I know it's not as fun to say as Tartiversary, or as clever as Procrastinakeding... but it gets across what I want to talk about...



I was supposed to have a guest blogger today, but I didn't hear from her. Now I have a hard enough time keeping track of things in my life that I can hardly blame her if I fell off the radar screen... or if communication fell apart—her email address didn't work for me—she may not even know she was expected! But a couple WEEKS ago I was supposed to have a guest, and when I sent the reminder “Hello? Where's your blog, please?” I got back a very sweet, apologetic note that she wasn't comfortable with the content on my blog.



FAIR ENOUGH. As much as I may encourage all o' y'all to get naked and you go along or ignore me as you will, YOU ALL are here because you picked it. I am at the VERY LEAST not out of your comfort zone (very far—or you are twisted and LIKE me pushing you out of your comfort zone). The guest blogging circuit, on the other hand, gets their suggested assignments for where to visit and may know NOTHING about it until... you know... it's time to go.





Party Metaphor



Since we are such a fun group, lets say all these blogs are parties, and people roam from party to party, doing their sampling of this fare and that. Then somebody comes along and helpfully says, “Hey! I'm part of the Music Association and I can get some bands to cycle through!”



And everybody at my blog starts singing “Louie, Louie” and shouting “Toga! Toga! Toga!” and who should show up, but a gospel singer? Now some of you limboing, toga wearing party nuts really LIKE gospel, and are going to be a perfectly good audience (all o' ya would be NICE)—but Miss Gospel singer looks out at the crowd smearing honey on each other and taking belly shots and she is REALLY uncomfortable, because... you know... she's over-dressed. And it's MY PLACE so nobody WORE their church clothes. Even people that LIKE all that, are hard to see! You are the nicest, most receptive people in the world, but all she is seeing is the line-up of fine man-butts I have arranged.





Now if it were ME, I figure I'd just cater who was there—alter my content accordingly. But I also don't write anything really incompatible with... well... anything... My reputation as an author is hardly going to be slandered because I show up somewhere. The Erotica authors might poke fun because the most sexually graphic part of my cozy is an occasional goosing, but me showing up THERE can hardly be any worse that what I get up to HERE. In reality, exposing myself to varied audiences is the best way to... you know... grow my audience. Or so I see it.

There are writers, however, who have more stake in keeping up some respectability, and I respect that. Compatible Aesthetics are the right of any of us, and it is not up to me to call it.



THAT SAID, none of us should be afraid to say that. Something isn't going to work out? Say so. Communicate. Let people know. Because even the naked among us need to keep up the professionalism so that Tarts don't have to fly by the seat of their pantslessness any more than necessary... if you know what I mean...

Chimera Critiques CONFLUENCE

Sorry I am a few hours late today. I am fighting a bad cold and took a sick day to sleep in! (which helped immensely)



I mentioned last week that I had won this, and I was THRILLED. CONFLUENCE has had a dozen or so readers and I've gotten GREAT feedback from ALL of them. Everyone who has read has helped me improve the manuscript. I even had someone who NEVER read it, Colleen Gleason—my first 'real author' friend I made through a 'connection' instead of this slower network process (she is friends with my neighbor) give me improving words. “I hate to sound negative, but nobody is going to read something that is over 200,000 works,” leading to the largest Adverbectomy in the history of time (more than 40K just from THAT... another 20K out for plot pieces I grudgingly removed).



And over my rounds of querying (3 so far) I went from no nibbles (out of 7) to 1 nibble (out of 14) to 3 nibbles (out of 11)--one of those LAST for 75 pages—so real interest. But no takers. It was time for drastic action.



THAT is when I stumbled upon a question at an author blog: what would you rather win? Query advice, first chapter advice, lunch with an agent, or... not remembering what choice 4 was... might have been something more tangible like a writing book or something... and I signed up for 'first chapter advice.' My query could use some work, but it seems to me it's gotten some peeks. I think my PROBLEM is my opening chapter.



Callie, at Chimera Critiques contacted me, said she'd seen that was what I was interested in, and let me know they were getting a service going to help authors and were having giveaways about once a month—she encouraged me to submit, so I DID! I think, because they are just getting going, and I was early in submittants..., but I 'WON' and I got the critiques: 3 of them!



The critiques all begin with an intro of some sort, some brief, some longer, and then END with the summary of the strengths and weaknesses of the chapter. WITHIN there are comments... tons of them, things like “This is a good dramatic last line, but I'm not sure who is talking or what they are talking about, so it loses impact.”--



Unanimously, they didn't like the very first 'teaser'--me trying to be clever with set up from behind the scenes—the decision makers who are DOING this rotten stuff to the family. They liked what it hinted at, but wanted it to be more explicit, which in my mind would give away too much of the book... I am thinking I will just dump it.



There is also too much 'set up'--the reader isn't quite sucked in because I am establishing relationships and building character, then just as they start to pull in, I change scene... That was me being too clever by half, I think...I was trying to leave them wanting MORE, but apparently, 'bore, suck in, abandon' is not a clever strategy.



Now this 'too much set up' is something I had already suspected—that as a chapter 1, I just have too much time invested getting to know characters. Some of it can just be cut, some can be woven in later, but I definitely have to work on arrangement.



Another thing I heard: My parents aren't very sympathetic (seems there might be a deeper meaning here *shifty*)...I think PART of this is all the cutting I've had to do—making the book shorter, I cut some 'sweet moments' because they weren't related to the plot... mom has a mini-breakdown at a later point, and I'd REALLY like readers to CARE before that happens... Mac on the other hand, I want to GROW in how sympathetic he is—starting somewhat selfish and career oriented, then REALIZING what his family means to him... And I think this is the first time I've exactly articulated that, so maybe it is progress. I need to leave in reasons Trish would BE with him if he seems unsympathetic... I definitely don't want her to be a 'trampled upon spouse' (at least not of her own free will)... it's tricky, and I am seeing how taking some deliberation here could definitely help me strengthen the interest readers have in following forward.



And then the darned PLOT... with the PoV changes—it seems to be hard to grasp... possibly because I have some strong subplots, that at the beginning, get a fair amount of time because they are part of the set-ups (like Jessie being forced to move with her dad, which then follows through her adjustment)



And then there are my transitions between scenes... rough, disorienting... So what I need to do with those words saved from cutting the 'set up' is smooth these transitions. I will try to avoid the clever, “meanwhile, back at the ranch”... my other books with alternate PoV by chapter, or with Deniability, half a chapter. All the rest have only two, but this one has 4 PoVs. I am SERIOUSLY considering rewriting it from all Jessie (with maybe an occasional Hannah)--I like Trish's breakdown, but I think that can be observed... what CAN'T is the manipulation Mac and Trish are both receiving at the hands of their coworkers and colleagues, but I could probably manage that with some overhearing, some dinner conversations—maybe twist around the rumors Jessie hears at school--or write it more as a mystery Jessie unravels.



Jessie was universally popular. I've known she was my strongest character all along—her voice came most easily. She is the one most disrupted through the move that sets events in motion. I'm not sure yet—it is a BIG rewrite... it is a rewrite that MIGHT even make this a YA book if I make the motivation of the villains less complicated (though then I'd have to shorten yet again—I think 90K would be pushing the limits, and right now I'm at nearly 140K). Then again, cutting 2 PoVs might do just that...



Whatever the case, I have work to do.



I find this process was helpful in several ways—when I see three professionals point out the SAME piece as problematic, I KNOW it is a problem. But at least there is some suggestion of how to address it, and I believe them. They were very clear what was unclear, versus what they just weren't buying: how teens talk, for instance... I happen to HAVE teens, but I've decided how teens talk is regional. I love having feedback that is both broad, and has all these specific points... I can decide which problems to address just by cutting out whole sections (or approaching from a totally different direction) and which I want to deal with one issue at a time to improve (or occasionally, ignore).



Having these from three people, I figure I fall into “only one points out=preference” but if more do... well I need to think about it.



I also loved that they pointed out the strengths—the lines they really liked with why they worked. The character actions that really gave a feel for personality—VERY helpful. (even got a compliment on my lack of adverbs and clean writing, so thanks, Colleen!)  And thank you especially to Callie, Erica and Zellie at Chimera Critiques!  They have another selection coming up, so if you have a first chapter that you aren't sure how to get right--maybe you've given it a couple goes, and it just isn't GOING--I strongly recommend you give these ladies a chance.



I am mid-process in a critique for a friend of mine, and I DEFINITELY want to keep all this in mind, so I can be as helpful as possible.



So I am back to the drawing board with this (eventually--after POSSIBLY the cozy, then LEGACY) but I feel like I have now thought about it on a much different level, and I think I can streamline the plot, and strengthen the book, so THANK YOU!





And YESTERDAY I had a giveaway with my blog, but comments were low, so if you want to have a chance to win a journal and booklight, go to YESTERDAY's post and see the instructions (easy, just a comment, but on yesterdays, and then a tweet, link or facebook share for this blog or the Virtual Book tour)--be sure to let me know to be in the drawing.

The Plan

Wait... what plan? Was I supposed to make that?



I always go through life largely flying by the seat of my pantslessness, but it is rare when I am trying to keep so many balls in the air at the same time, and I AM NOT A CLOWN. (though I DO have a really good clown FACE (though not like that scary clown *shivers*) if you ever meet me in person and want to see—but I digress). I have rather infamous (among my immediate family) tunnel vision and really only do one thing at a time, so this whole multi-tasking thing has me a little flummoxed.



So let me describe my balls *cough*



The Cozy Mystery Ball



Say! That sounds like a REALLY fun party! I ought to have one! But at the moment what I mean is this... Four FABULOUS members of the WORLD'S BEST writer's group gave me feedback on my Cozy chapters revision—one sent a series of suggestions on Saturday that I am keeping in mind—all more general. THREE sent line revisions and questions in the form of track changes... so I spent... maybe two hours yesterday going paragraph by paragraph, looking at all four versions (their three, plus MY hard copy that I'd made notes for other the other suggestions, plus a 'sentence simplification' that was more general feedback from one who ALSO sent the line-edits) SLOW going.



I DID learn some things about British English versus American English (Natasha and Tara both learned BE, living in India and Wales respectively) and some things about colloquialisms. A few times they cracked me up when more than one would point at the same thing. Tara kept me motivated by snorting. I always like a good snort. And at the moment I feel like chapters 1 and 2 are SIGNIFICANTLY clearer, better, cleaner, than they were this time yesterday. I still have 3 and 4 to get through this way, then a final polish, before sending the chapters back to MY AGENT on Wednesday night (or such is the plan).





The Legacy Query Ball



I know, right? Who would want to go? I hear it is entirely clothes dug out of rejection bins at second hand stores, and food salvaged from the McDonald's 'over time' can.



Legacy is my completed novel next on my revision list. I didn't want to start REVISIONS because if I get the cozy gig, it would interrupt, which I find counter productive. So I thought, HEY, I'll write the QUERY. You've already heard me whine here... I can't write a query to save my life. Ive had five different ABNA friends give me some VERY helpful feedback (I love these guys), but unlike the writing, where I can SEE the improvement, because I KNOW what I am looking for—I have a harder time identifying better versus worse on the query. I actually maybe ought to put on my copywriter's hat from YEARS ago, though I remember there was a reason I actually ended up working in account service rather than copywriting... you know... the hard time getting to the point thing...





The CONFLUENCE First Chapter Ball



I have a REALLY COOL think happening here. I'm VERY excited. Chimera Critiques gives away a chapter critique every so often, and I have WON one! http://chimeracritiques.com/ They are going to review my first chapter of CONFLUENCE and tell me where I am missing the boat, because honestly, I think I must be... I think I need to dive in faster, but for the life of me, can't figure out how. So I encourage YOU to go check them out, and I will report back after the (hopefully not horribly painful) feedback I get from THEM. But then I will know what to do... and I will be obliged to FIX IT. *sigh *





Bouncing Balls



Deniability still looms...  Needs blanks filled in.

Illusions needs typing...  *sigh*

Guest Bloggers are waiting for SERVICE... which I don't mind providing, but it stresses me out a little to be responsible to anyone else. Harder to wing it when I'm playing with somebody ELSE'S balls. *cough*



And then I have the two NEW books that keep pestering me... the ghost story and the Armageddon one... the former would be a delve int YA, and is more solid in my head—that said, that also makes it PERFECT for a NaNo book, where the Armageddon is tricky and complicated (and fairly delicious)-so a far bigger commitment—CONFLUENCE complicated... (though hopefully I've learned enough that it wouldn't take me 2.5 years to write this time)





And finally... because I've had so much time on my hands... I've made the request and been added to the Urban Dictionary... as the Watery Tart, of course... They said it might take a few days, but I figure at that point, I can officially claim I'm famous *snort*  Girl's gotta have priorities, I figure...

Blog Events: Blogging A to Z Wrap Up

First, I want to officially thank Lee at Tossing it Out for coordinating the Blogging A to Z which you possibly noticed I participated in during the month of April. I am a hard worker who loves to participate in... well, pretty much anything (you know... the FOMS—for the uninitiated, FOMS-Fear of Missing Something—is my primary psychological disorder... after the insanity thing...) But I am NOT organized enough to set such things up myself, so I REALLY appreciate those organized folks out there who do this. So THANK YOU, LEE!



FOMS aside, I want to sing the praises of these events for a couple OTHER reasons.



Blog event participation does something in a way UNEQUAL to any other thing you can do: it increases your traffic and followers. Not every person/blog is going to meet every OTHER person's interest, but these events that give you a list of blogs to try out and people to meet, have seemed to be the most efficient method of testing things out OUT there.



I began blogging last June (I'm about 6 weeks shy of my anniversary). At FIRST I asked my writer friends to check it out... and had 10ish followers... then I asked my HPANA friends (the people who have read my fan fiction—my earliest first readers) and built to about 20 or 25 followers. Other followers have trickled in one at a time, with only TWO exceptions. NaBloWriMo (which, innuendo desires aside, is NOT actually a month of writing about... okay, never mind... I won't go there...) It is National Blog Writing Month where people committed to blogging every single day in October. Followers bumped greatly.



Okay... there was a small batch from participating in ABNA—but I think only about five of those have stuck... they are a smart group, and I consider many of them friends, but more of them are on Facebook than this blog circuit.  Largely, with a few exceptions, they don't quite GET the blog thing.



But the BIGGIE was this Blogging A to Z. In April, a single month, I went from 70 followers to over 100. Now I know not ALL of these are A to Z related—a few friends have discovered blogging, and a few new people have been met—but that... maybe 5 people... is the exception. MOST of these are because of participating in this event.



So what's the big deal with followers?



Well I think you KNOW I have world domination aspirations, but aside from that... each becomes a degree of separation from THEIR readers, so the more people you reach directly, the more people you might reach INDIRECTLY.



But that's not the only benefit.



I've managed this month to meet a handful of kindred spirits and a BUNCH of really nice people. These kindred spirits out in the blogosphere though, are a very special reward for this usually solitary thing we do. I don't want to name people, as if I forget anybody, I would feel badly (and forgetting is sort of a specialty of mine), but seriously—there are some majorly cool people that have become NOT just part of the network, but friends.





So to everyone I met in April, YOU ROCK.



I want to encourage anyone new to blogging to participate in these things when they come around. I have a long time friend who has been a beautiful blogger in the past, but shy and not terribly frequent, but this month Marjorie SHONE (shined? I think shone is right)... I think her craft grew a lot with the discipline of the daily thing and I KNOW her readership grew. So it is FABULOUS for more timid bloggers.



And I think it helps ALL of us to grow the network... reach more people... it is only by reaching more that we find the truly fabulous matches out there... the people we want to read daily, the people who might help us out when we GET THERE.





And... this just in: 5 days to HURRAY HURRAY the 8th OF MAY!!!! (I will explain Friday, so you have a chance to prepare)--or if you are very naughty, you can google it.



This just in:  Hey, lookie what I got!  Thank you Raquel!  *note to self:  need to do awards...*

Honoring Aitches

JK Rowling and the H<-->J Reciprocity Conspiracy [brought to you by Delusional Thursday]



JK Rowling has an H-Fetish (and who can blame her really?) but what you probably don't KNOW, is it's all about ME! You see Jo and I go way back with this brain connection—I've channeled her with some regularity for about 5 years now... I've blogged about it before—me using Orion as the daddy of Sirius and Reggie, and Cygnus as the daddy of the Black sisters LONG before the Black Family tree was published (okay, maybe about 3 months before... still, it was before)... Her having Harry wind up NAKED when he dies—I mean WHO, other than ME could be responsible for such things?



But there are more clues in the simple swap of H's and J's...



Jo starts with J. Hart starts with H. (see, this is good, right?)



Jo named her principle character in her first book HARRY (with an H).

Hart named her principle character JESSIE (with a J).  Are you buying this yet?



Jo has Hedwig, Hagrid, Hermione (not to mention a Hippogriff)

Hart has a Jack, a Jim...



But see all this is strictly minor evidence PROVEN when she used “Best Laid Plans” on page 4 of Deathly Hallows, and AWRY on page 11—my 2nd novel-length work, finished on the day before the release of Deathly Hallows, and so WRITTEN at the same time was called Best Laid Plans Sometimes Go Awry.



So there you have it.





Honoring Hope



Fellow Tart (though she's fruity, while I'm wet) got a HUGE honor yesterday. Writer's Unboxed (linked in my sidebar) is a collaborative effort of Agents, Publishers, and Authors (some real bigwigs, including the likes of Donald Maass). They have a SINGLE unpublished author they like to include in their ranks for their pre-published perspective, and HOPE was just chosen—out of all the three gazillion pre-published writers, and somebody I KNOW was picked!!! (and you know what, Hope's real name is JAN. See, that H<-->J conspiracy thickens).



Go read Tartitude. You will see why her voice was so loved, though I suspect her ability to NETWORK as an UNKNOWN played a role—the article mentioned her interview with Laura Kinsale, a famous author—so she undoubtedly impressed more and more impressive people to work up to that coup (smart will ALWAYS help, and it doesn't hurt to NETWORK smart as well as WRITING smart), but she writes SASSY too, which, you know... is a Tart thing.



So Hope-Jan the Tart, Hart Johnson the Tart says WELL DONE! (you see how I'm trying to catch her coat tails don't you? That's one of these tricksey things that isn't actually cheating in the Networking world)



*cough*



So hopefully I haven't annoyed my friend, as Jan and I connected aside from the Tart thing, having similar real life interests...









High Hopes vs. Hi-Ho Hi-Ho



This writing business can really get us down... rejections are downright depressing, aren't they? And I KNOW 95% of people get in frontward, the Querying route.... improve the writing, improve the writing, improve the writing. And it can't be DONE without adequately improving the writing. But then what?



Hope is hard to maintain in that world. And I SWEAR there are other options. They aren't normal or common, and they aren't easy... in fact they are downright unpredictable, or other people would use them more.



I have no CLUE how Hope got her gig—they mentioned essays she'd sent, so maybe there was an application process-- either that or somebody recommended her (which is highly plausible—I mean seriously, the woman can WRITE), but her SIDE WRITING got her that gig--not her book and query, and I guarantee (because I'm in charge of these things) when her novel is done and polished, one of those agents she is now WORKING WITH will read it, or at LEAST will look at her as a referral, rather than a cold contact.



It likewise looks like I might get in some backward route through my SIDE WRITING. My route is different... a reader recognized the appropriateness of my voice for a genre I had never considered WRITING and suggested I give it a shot. I am SO GRATEFUL she did. She writes in the genre and KNEW the required voice and just SPOTTED IT. All I had to be was me. (and prolific, and maintain deadlines—yes, there was a spotting of the habits as well as the style--I may do a lot of things I'm not supposed to, but I do a lot I am supposed to, too... the FOMS and all).



But my point is (yes... I STILL try to have a point on Delusional Thursday) I doubt those side doors say 'Tarts only", no matter HOW MUCH I'd like it if they did.



So keep your hopes HIGH—or you may feel like giving up. But I think some hard side work can really pay off, sometimes when you least expect it.





And because you've been so tolerant of my insanity...





A HUNK, and tres HINEY's with a message



Man, is that LEGAL? *fans self*



And something we can all get behind. *cough *

Belligerent Bunnies

This Brief Blog bares basic stuff on.... okay, I'm at a loss for B words. My daughter is going on a road trip today... Said daughter turns 15 this month and I am driving to Chicago and back as part of this venture (leaving her with a group of teens she attends summer camp with--nice kids, but still...). Yes, I get to have coffee with my exquisite friend Colette, as part of the deal, but it is 9 hours in the car, probably 3 of which will be at the hands of the young DRIVER'S PERMIT THANG... so the blog is less organized than normal... There you have it.





Belle o' the Ball



Speaking of Miss THANG, Thing I had her first water polo game last night. It was only a scrimmage with another high school in town, but as it was her first... Water Polo is FUN, and my Miss THANG made the first point of the game, even though it was her FIRST EVER game. This is Junior Varsity, but I figure, HEY, everybody OUT THERE is junior varsity and MY junior varsity player is only a freshman. She also had several steals. She was RIGHT. The Synchronized Swimming 'tread water technique' gives her an advantage over other new players. She has also done both competitive swimming AND team sports, including softball (for that good arm) and basketball (for the one on one guarding and stealing). That, and being relatively long-armed, all make this a sport that she may be ideally suited for. It seems to be her favorite so far.





Belligerent Bunnies



This will be the second year the easter bunny doesn't make it to our house. It's sad, but I warned them: when you stop believing, he will stop coming. My son is now 11... so sad. I miss it when we were visited by a large rodent in the middle of the night who just HID CHOCOLATE. Oh well. It's probably better this way.





BOOK BREAKS



I got an email from MY AGENT yesterday, and she said the edited chapters were fantastic and sent them off to the editor... hopefully soon to be dubbed MY EDITOR!







Badly Behavior Bedmates



Sometimes Husbands need spankings. It's too bad when it happens, it is when they are least in the mood for them. [/TMI]





Behemoth Beaucoup



Yes, I'm aware that means Big a lot. *cough*



I just wanted to say WELCOME AND THANKS. Every time I participate in one of these Blogosphere things, I end up with new followers... BEING a new follower... the network grows. And you know what? It is SO WORTH IT. You people are a FABULOUS lot, and between the connections that have already helped me, and the projects in the works (see book tours in a few posts... I have three planned this month—visiting authors for book releases) this sure seems like a wonderful way to help each other out so BIG A LOT to all of you! (err... I mean THANKS!)



And because several requested it...



Beautiful BUMS!



See!  I got something for everyone!!!





And though my butt is more Reubens than Renaissance... at least SOMEBODY thinks old fashioned butts are nice --these are the graces  (I have one, though as I said, think Reubens)



And FINALLY... becaue I know it's what you really want...







Yeah, okay fine.  Just sit there and drool.  I am.

I'll Scratch YOURS

Periodically I pay attention to stuff. I've noticed I have several friends here in the Blogosphere who have book releases coming up, so I thought I would throw out a broad-stroked invitation: If you are



1)  A Tart Follower
2)  With a Book Release that has just happened or will happen soon AND

3)  Are willing to commit to my Naked World Domination Plans *cough *



Okay, maybe you don't need to COMMIT on that last, just seriously CONSIDER...



And you would be interested in Guest Blogging to promote your book, maybe get a little buzz going...



You would be reaching readers who are:



1)  The smartest out there
2)  Really nice people
3)  Well-connected among readers and promoters
4)  Naked


And Here's the Scoop:



She who'd write a Blog for me, must answer me these questions Three, ere the other side she see:





1)  WHAT is your Name? (Author bio)
2)WHAT is your Quest? Erm... Book? (pitch, blurb, cover copy)
3)WHAT is the air speed Velocity of a Laden Swallow? How did you find your way to publication?




If You are interested, EMAIL me with Guest Blog in the subject line, let me know your book release date, and we can set it up: hartjohnson23ATgmailDOTcom.





IF you are Chad Kroeger, Johnny Depp, Viggo Mortenson, Jason Isaacs, or Gerard Butler and you would like your back scratched, call me.  Addendum:  And the previously unknown but undeniably hot Clive Owen.



Acknowledgement:  I should thank Authors Promoting Authors for THEIR campaign along a similar vein, as it probably would not have occurred to me to throw this out there without them.  If YOU have a blog and are willing to do the same, they did a blog last week on the topic.  Check it out and sign up.