Interview Intimidation

So I've been trying to expand my horizons on how I can help my fellow authors but for some reason this reviews and interviews thing intimidates the heck out of me.



So I thought maybe before I dive into the season where I've promised some half dozen of these various things, I would have a little therapy session with Yibus.

Why on Reviews



Well see, it's like this... There are a bunch of bloggers who write KICK-ASS reviews! They know stuff (and yeah, I know I know stuff), but they know stuff about the elements of books... the pieces that need to be there, the comparitive works, what books of the genre call for... A couple of my regular haunts that do great reviews include (but are by no means limited to) Leigh and Mason. And they just know how to review books!



How the heck is a hack like ME supposed to review books!?

But even more intimidating is the INTERVIEW



I've only done... two maybe... but I have three currently scheduled... I HAVE read one book, am READING one, and will read the other in August...



I guess the thing here is... I really prefer both the questions and answers to interviews where the interviewer is familiar, can ask original and relevant questions that are FRESH. I think the interviewee comes across better too—it is something that they haven't answered a thousand times, so the answers are more fun.

Anybody else intimidated by these things? Any tricks of the trade you want to share?

For the Record... What's Coming



Review: Very Bad Men by Harry Dolan: July 6

Review: South of Superior by Ellen Airgood (when it's written)

Interview: Harry Dolan: July 16

Review: My Fearful Symmetry by Denise Verrico (early August)

Review: Hard Spell by Justin Gustainis (early August)

Interview: Denise Verrico: August 16

Review: String Bridge by Jessica Bell (November)

Interview: Jessica Bell: (November)





So if any of YOU have fresh unusual questions for any of my interviewees, I will be thrilled to consider them! (I'd actually love the help!)



[NOTE:  All this grumble is about MY inadequacies... these are totally skills I want to master, so THANK YOU for you fabulous people letting me give them a go]



[Also Wik:  I finished What Ales Me (first draft) last night:  Wordcount currently 55,148]



[Also also wik:  I love yibus!]

Cabana Boy for the WIN!

Photo of the elusive Alex Cavanaugh

Yesterday I went to check out my blogger stats and the NUMBER ONE search term for people finding their way to MY BLOG last week... Cabana Boy.



*sniff*



I'm so proud!



Number one referrer I've never heard of.  Anyone know anything about Social Elephant something something? But the number 2, 4 and 7 were various places from Alex Cavanaugh's site, so Alex, I owe you!!! (maybe I will let you claim you are the Cabana Boy pictured... though then your wife will have to learn how to fight)  Seriously though--you're the dude!





And I checked my flag counter recently, adding Laos for country #166!!!!!  Naked World Domination Tour is proving successful!!!  (in fact Russia was listed as my #2 country last week, which I ADORE, though confuses me, as no Russians leave comments--they must just be searching for Cabana Boys)



Further on the Naked World Domination front is THIS representative had to be rescued... apparently naked rowers should stay closer to shore, but at least he has the right spirits. I have no shame at all in claiming him as one of us.





Finally, today's REAL post is at Burrowers, Books and Balderdash, whereby I prove I'm insane. (so if you have any lingering doubts, you should probably head over there... goes up at noon GMT)





TOMORROW I am stirring up some CONTROVERSY!!!! Come on by and we'll talk about how art is ugly...

Elizabeth Rocks!

Okay, it may not look like it, but this theme ALSO began in Austin... well, it BEGAN when I decided to come out of the closet as a writer and stumbled across Elizabeth, but it was certainly reinforced in Austin.





The Austin Part



Stacy and I talked writing, quite a lot... It is to be expected... we have been friends about 6 years, but both of us just managed our first publishing contracts within the last year, so we paced and worked and toiled together, and now we are panicking together...

The first question, if I am keeping things straight, came when we were talking promotional plan... see... I signed on for a well-oiled machine, and have not yet been ASKED my promotional plan, where Stacy said it was a very stressful thing. My response? When the time comes, I am going to look and see what ELIZABETH does and I'll do that (certainly not so well, but it is a GOOD plan, and so I will aspire to it).



The next one... Stacy was bowing to my blogging prowess... because... you know... you guys are fabulous, and somehow you are all reading ME... (of course I am reading most of YOU, too...) but Stacy said she didn't know how I blogged almost every day. “Do you know anyone who blogs every day?” And you know what? I DO! Elizabeth!

I only wear glasses to see...

The last one I remember, though I'm sure there were at least a few more... we were waiting in line to go through the metal detector into the capitol (didn't even manage to be frisked—RATS!) and Stacy brought up taxes... and did I know you could deduct your writing space... and I said, “Well of course I know! From Elizabeth!”



We laughed considerably that Elizabeth was the answer to every question, but in a way that was full of admiration and fun. It's nice to be able to find all the answers in one spot.





The Primary Lesson



You see... I can be a little flighty (mostly memory stuff) but I have a pretty firm grasp on what I know and don't know. It became clear VERY FAST after joining this blogging community that there was A LOT to learn...



You know what ELSE I know? It is FAR EASIER to learn from someone who knows what they are doing... someone open to questions when you need answers... rather than digging and sorting fact from fiction and having trouble finding the pertinent information.

source

The best move I made in this social networking thing was identifying someone doing everything right... someone generous with her knowledge... and following her around.



Her style and mine are relatively opposite, Elizabeth is helpful, where I am more the frivolous version. But it has helped me over and over and over again to know where to look when I am trying to figure something out.



Whatever it is you want to do, figure out who is doing it right, and go ahead... shamelessly follow, ask, praise... You will learn what you need... You will get something... THEY will get something.







How do I know that?



Among my ABNA friends I've had a few strokes in that direction—thanks for guiding... pushing, sharing... it feels good. It builds good will.



Writing, unlike other professions, doesn't HAVE to have losers to have winners. If we ALL succeed, the whole business benefits and we all win. It is one of the few places I've seen that competition really has great will between competitors. Today they are supposed to announce the ABNA finalists, and I will cheer and be THRILLED for the winners... I've had a really good ride. I've made a lot of friends, learned a lot... and honestly, I think I've helped a few people. It is a win for all.



And to everyone who says to me, 'holy cow! How did you get 500+ blog followers?' I am THRILLED to point at Elizabeth and say she showed me how.





Speaking of, Elizabeth has a book release next month as Riley Adams: Finger Lickin' Dead. Watch for it! (she is visiting here the 14th)

Divine Order

So I've been paying a fair bit of attention for a few years now... New authors launching social campaigns... Hopeful Authors launching social campaigns... And I've learned something YOU need to know...





Build Following FIRST, Book Launch AFTER.

Here is why:



1)  If you launch to promote, people will shun your one-trick pony, but if you launch when it's promotion time and FAIL to promote, the opportunity is lost. You need to prove yourself interesting in ABSENSE of promotion, and THEN launch... then the launch may in fact be perceived as ALSO interesting.

2)  You need to PAY IT FORWARD. Nobody has a reason to TRUST you will PAY BACK. If you start up for a promo, in fact, there is every reason to believe that's all you've got. If you promote OTHER authors first (for one to a dozen years) BEFORE you launch, you have collateral for others to shout from the rooftops (or car hoods, or gutters, depending on your audience) when it is your turn.



Work it! If you promote for others, let them KNOW! Otherwise... they don't KNOW! If you know what I mean... I mean surely it's good karma to promote books of others ANYWAY, but this networking thing works better if you reinforce the connections...





And while that is a WISE bit of wisdom I just shared with you, it is all I got today... and probably I will have nothing at ALL tomorrow, as I have a HOUSE GUEST coming! I will try to blog Saturday to make up for my negligence...



In he MEAN TIME....



It's Thursday, you know what THAT means!

Sneaksy

So you may not know this about me, but... I'm a big cheater!



Okay, so not usually, but I am killing two birds with one stone with today's blog... You see... Rachael, at Rach Writes has issued a Blogger Crusade Challenge in which we needed to start a blog with that! HA! My CHEATING comes into play because I am using it to link to a post I wrote already... But here... I will use the phrase again to make up for it...



You may not know this about me, but a couple weeks ago I tried out to be a guest blog for Nathan. I'm not that serious a wannabe (really I'd rather just dress him up and make him dance like I like) but the chance to reach a darned big audience tempted me... and I succumbed... I deserve a spanking.

But I promised HERE that if I didn't make it THERE, I would share it with you anyway... you get me better than all those silliness peeps anyway... (okay, maybe WE are the silliness peeps, but we sure seem to have a lot more fun and a fair amount less pretense... not NATHAN—I am thankful for what he does, but I frequently get annoyed with his commentors, even if I sometimes AM one. --is my hypocrisy showing?)



So REALLY rather than being a big cheater, I just am sort of sneaksy as to how I apply the rules...



Now without further ado... my GUEST POST THAT WASN'T!





Bloginality:  The The Type of Bloggers and their Attitudes



I recently had a heated debate with one of my writing peeps.  You see... she doesn't blog.  She thinks we are all a lot of brown-nosing ninnies, blowing smoke up each others' skirts.  And while I am not opposed to a little skirt peeping (provided they are kilts, worn in the traditional 'commando' manner, I mean) I just couldn't take the disrespect, so I decided to assess the VIEW of blogging from the viewpoint of blogger 'types'.



Pre-blogger:  "What a bunch of literary masturbation that is! A bunch of people all writing about themselves and screaming, 'Hey!  Come look at ME!  Read what I have to say!'" *cough*  Masturbation is engaged in by billions... it is ENJOYABLE.  Some people even like to WATCH (can I say that here? Was I supposed to stick to PG?)



Promo-blogger: "My agent and editor said I have to blog... 365 days all about my book, book and more book!  But dang it, why doesn't anybody ever return?" Okay kind friend... because we read about the BOOK the first time.  If you say nothing new, I don't need to come back.  In fact... if I didn't know about the book ALREADY, I probably wouldn't have wandered in.

Eager-Beaver-blogger:  "HEY!  I can get an agent this way!  If I follow all the agent blogs and make really clever comments, they will pick ME!  This is GREAT!" These folks are a little like Jack Russells... real cute until they annoy you to death.  They are NOT however, as smart as Jack Russells.  Getting agents by blog is a 1 in 132,000,000 shot. (yes, I'm a statistician)



Anti-blogger: "It's prostitution!  You are out there begging for comliments and nobody is going to tell you what they really think.  You've sold out!"  Oh, sweetness... ALL business is prostitution.  If you ever want to get published, you are going to have to prostitute yourself a little bit.  If you give in to the FUN part of it, it is much less painful.  If you refuse to engage, then your book will likely never get read. If you get naked, maybe you will be a best seller one day.



Follower-frenzied blogger:  "If I follow everyone and their dog, and hold giveaways and contests, and enter every blogfest, I will soon have a thousand followers!"  You might.  You might not.  This is the suck-up from high school who KNEW everybody but nobody liked because they were incapable of true friendship.  The followers WILL probably show up... the readers will go away again because there is no reciprocity.





Networking blogger:  "You know... I can't keep up well, if I try to keep up with everyone, so I am going to pare down my blogroll to the bloggers I really read, and I will follow people I can count on when I really need to work the system."  This smart cookie of a blogger has a ton of helpful links, passes on EVERYBODY'S contests and promos, and is really fighting the good fight.  But she is probably not nurturing HERSELF.  Some people may LOVE this, but it takes a certain personality.



Enlightened blogger: "I do this because I enjoy it.  If people like me, they will come.  If I like them, I will follow them back.  But I'm not too worried about the hype.  I am just processing.  It's all good." I envy this person, not worried at all about the hit counters or the follower numbers... only reading what they have time for, content with a handful of comments a day (because the commenters they have REALLY LOVE THEM.



As for me, I suppose I am a masturbating, networking prostitute.  I've always said, if you want people to keep coming back, you either need to be helpful or entertaining, and I'm not really a utility model.



***



So there you have it... I think Nathan just may not have wanted to be so naughty... definitely a man in need of lingerie training...

Prose, Plot and Personality

I see things every once in a while about improving prose... I read things from fellow bloggers who ponder every single word. And I LOVE reading a work that holds EXACTLY the right language. But you know what? It's not me.

Oh, don't get me wrong... I PARTICULARLY love a nice double entendre, either to amplify meaning, because innuendo is my favorite thing, or to give double possibility and therefore mystery.

But I can't write literary fiction. I just don't have the personality to think about EVERY WORD... I am more an 'eh, close enough' kind of gal. What I want JUST RIGHT is the STORY.

Now I don't think the two are mutually exclusive, but I think that weaving a plot with a lot of twists and turns is a different animal from choosing really beautiful language, and honestly, with a complicated plot, literary language is just going to stop up and confuse the reader—the mind is already having to jump to keep up with the STORY. Adding language that you have to slow down and savor could easily cause the reader to get LOST.

Pass It On



So I thought maybe I'd share a couple things with you... opportunities, advice, blog recommendations...



Blog Crusade:  nervous as the idea of a crusade makes me, Rachael has a goal of compiling a list of the WRITERS who BLOG to connect us, and that seems an admirable aim.  We have had a ton of it happen around here, organically, but why not add another route, eh?



That in mind, I think I am going to put together a post of all my followers and their blogs... this will take AGES, but then there should be easy reference for my readers to see who else is here and what else they might be interested in.



And the Query Letter Manifesto (and the second part the next day) is a FABULOUS reality check for all you queryers.

Jugular

If I have a writing weakness (okay, so AMONG my list of writing weaknesses), it is that I am TOO NICE. Oh, I know... one doesn't usually think of your happy neighborhood dominatrix as a warm, cuddly thing, but really... I get attached to my characters... I want good things for them. I mean sure... a little mundane emotional torture, but really putting them in deep danger? Doing horrible, rotten things to them? I have a hard time doing it. So I thought maybe we should explore some ways to make ourselves meaner... you know... on paper.

1)  Read some really bad literature and ponder how THAT book got published and yours didn't.

2)  Record a reading of your rejection letters and play them back to yourself while you sleep.

3)  Give up caffeine.

4)  Start an strict exercise routine so your muscles all hurt.

5)  Call upon memories of a cheating ex.

6)  Think of a time YOU got in trouble for something someone else did.

7)  Play some computer or video games and find out how much fun it is to blow stuff up.

8)  Write a SIDE STORY where you torture a character you really hate from one of those bad books in step one and realize if you are truly ROTTEN, it is actually fun to READ.

9) Think about your cantankerous partner getting rid of something you love because it was 'in his way'.

10)  Make yourself wear pants. Pants make EVERYONE mean.

Justice



While I am too nice, I am NOT a happily ever after gal. Endings that are too tidy or where 'love' is the solution to everybody's problem are a little too saccharine for me, but there is one thing I really am a stickler for in my endings. I want to experience some sense of JUSTICE. I want the downtrodden to get a little triumph. I want the arrogant jerks to get their comeuppance. I want the sweet, innocent people to have gotten a little dose of reality *shifty* (maybe that last one is just me). I can live with good stuff for the bad guy if he or she has gotten a really hard lesson.





Jaded



You know what I really can't tolerate. Beautiful people. I mean I can if they are a side character, and their behavior is either stereotypically bitchy or disarmingly NICE. But beautiful people as MCs who seem oblivious and have no CLUE they are beautiful? Not buying it. Characters everybody wants to date? Then they darned well better either be a jerk because of it, or embarrassed by it. They certainly are AWARE or they are NOT realistic. For some people, beauty is a tool, and they use it. For OTHERS it is a burden and they hate that they can never tell whether others are genuine or not.



I also hate the 'romance formula'. I can get along with OTHER BOOKS that include romance... romantic suspense or chick lit with some side romance to go with a nice dose of personal growth. But a man being the answer to a woman's problems is never going to ring true.

Jcounter *shifty*



One year ago today I added my stat counter, and I am thrilled that in that time, I've had 55,000+ blog hits, and according to the counter, that is by almost 19,000 individuals (though I am skeptical of that). I also had my 116th country yesterday and LOOK how darned cool that flag is! (Martinique)

400 is the New 200

Just when I am all impressed with myself for hitting 200 blog followers, I realize all these OTHER bloggers with whom I used to be neck and neck are at 400… how the heck did THAT happen?



THEN I started thinking about why I blog and how I blog… I saw a great blog last week about blogging better [can't find at the mo] and it listed all these sites to increase traffic… but with my philosophy, could I DO a ton more?  Could I read twice as many blogs every day?  No.  Do I want to visit the blogs I visit half as much because I have more to cover in a week?  Not really… So I am going to plug along with my slow growth model and be content.  I figure it is a quality set of peeps… anyone who makes him or herself known through comments and follows gets the reciprocation, and that is a pace at which I can make FRIENDS rather than just throwing you all in a sack, though I know there are few of you who'd probably like to get in the sack with a few OTHERS of you (and I'm not saying you can't... I'm permissive that way—I might even get in the sack WITH you if we all get to dance like I like...) I'm just not going to force it.

That Said… I LOVE LOVE LOVE my Flag Counter



I had my 105th country on Tuesday, Mongolia. And then Wednesday I had my 106th, Cambodia (does that mean more than half the world has visited me? I think it does! HALF THE WORLD IS NAKED!!!   And THIS tickled me like crazy (I found it in my counter list of where recent hits came from—which is an inadequate counter list, as it only tells me the last ten, but it's free, and sometimes it is CRAZY interesting)… I think it may be Hungarian, but I’m not sure.  I love the arbitrary nature of things not translated… minski ramblings in particular pleased me.

What I really want though, is some SIGN from the countries who visit but don't say anything... I want to know who you ARE! I adore Boonie—and Thailand is pretty exotic... I had head starts on India and Norway—friends there before I started blogging (still, Norway is my #1 non-English speaking country, and Greece is #2—both of which I only knew one person before I started). But I want to know who is here from RUSSIA! (17 people if the counter is right), Bulgaria (32), Poland (44) and then the countries in the middle east (Pakistan=20), Africa (though all are only single digits) Brazil (58)--talk to me! Who is here! PLEASE, anyone who reads, I'd love to just know who you ARE!

Okay, I've left it short, as yesterday was potentially the longest day in HISTORY—daughter was supposed to be to the pool by 5 am, I was meant to power walk (but we BOTH failed to set alarms... guess we needed sleep), worked all day, curriculum night at the high school... This morning was the make-up power walk and TONIGHT is SON'S curriculum night *dies*



But it IS Thursday, and I know I don't have to remind you what THURSAY means!

Something Borrowed (The Tart Takes Requests)

So I've been trying to put together my 'Random' blog (Wednesday) over at Burrowers, Books and Balderdash, and... as a statistician... RANDOM has a very specific meaning to me (any individual option is equally likely to all others for selection)... I am applying it there, but differently (I defined my own set of alternatives)... HERE however, I thought... since y'all know me... it might be good for my writing discipline to take ALL SUGGESTIONS, put them in a database and RANDOMLY choose a topic now and again. That allows you to put topics to me and see how I can twist them in my warped mind... so that is an added bonus.



I will add all topics suggested to my database, and I will use a random number selector to determine what I HAVE to blog on. I will do it once a week, though reserve the right to hop days (probably will do it when I am stumped, or Sunday if I don't GET stumped... some weeks are better than others)... And I also reserve the right to commandeer a topic and post on it on an additional day if it is particularly brilliant.



I request you NOT choose something that I know nothing about, unless you want it to post on Thursday and have me just make stuff up (Misattributing IS my superpower, after all)... then again, there is some fun in that... So anything goes! What do you want me to post about?!  And if the topic isn't chosen immediately... it STILL stays in the database... so ask away!

You Like It... HOW?

Blogs, people! Get your minds out of the gutter!!! Or rather... leave them there, but take this two tiered journey with me.

I've been really busy this week... swamped, in fact, and it has made me notice some things about how I read (or choose not to read) blogs. When I have to limit, I have to limit... and there are some criteria I use. You may use DIFFERENT criteria. I am willing to bet you do. But I think there are some things that might be interesting to discuss... and if I'm not the only one (though I could be) to think about.







When Was Our Last?



I confess to feeling far more obligation to visit those who have visited me relatively recently. There. I said it. You love me. I'll love you back. Mutual appreciation is a good thing. There is an equity bank here... if you are really regular for a long time, then long gaps are forgiven pretty easily. Forgiven of course, overstates it... I'm not ANGRY. But there there is a time debt—THAT is what is forgiven...





Blogfests

I really enjoy certain kinds... the kind where everybody shares this or that... favorite songs, movies, albums... Those are a blast. The shared scenes though... Those take better preparation to participate on a writing end, but also more CONCENTRATION to read that I usually have in my allocated blog reading time. Even when I am almost all caught up, it is rare I read these. It isn't that I don't like them. It is that I feel obliged, if I commit, to reading them RIGHT, and I just don't have time to do that most of the time. My blog time is at about half my necessary attention span.





Contests



Okay, I'm sure I'm freaky here. I mean... I am super cheap and I LOVE winning stuff. But so often contests are a lot of work to win a lot of points, and honestly... I'm just not doing it. I don't have the TIME. “Follow and comment” I am in. Tweeting is easy enough. But because so many of them require so much, I often don't even look if I'm busy unless you have a lot of commenting equity.







The Experts



There are several blogs I follow because I think they post helpful stuff but they are by 'experts' (agents, famous-er authors—meaning more famous than my famous author FRIENDS with the whole tit-for-tat blogging thing—I mean the people breathing rarified air, and then the publishing industry folks from larger). Normally I love to read these, but when I am busy, they don't need my love like all of YOU PEOPLE who are HERE reading.







Great Advice



There are a couple of YOU GUYS that give great info, too. And I definitely try to hit these most of the time. These require some brain power, so sometimes they get pushed back to home time, or even a day later, but I DO try to look.

Light Entertainment



These require LITTLE brain activity and might even brighten an otherwise stressful day... they get my first round of reads...





So what about you?  When you are crunched, how do you prioritize?







Now for Amends



If YOU are a follower and comment at least now and again, and if you are not in my sidebar, that is an OVERSIGHT on my part. I TRY to go look at everyone new who follows or comments, but when I get busy, I fall down. (and the FACEBOOK followers are out of order, so I don't have a CLUE who the new adds are) Please look for your blog in my sidebar, and if it is not there, give me a poke, spanking or wet willy, as seems appropriate. It is my intention to fully reciprocate, but as I think I've made clear, I am often DISTRACTED. So please give me a prod and I will add you.







And FINALLY, a little MORE spread of love. Authors promoting Authors are doing a dealy bob to support women's businesses... it is probably best to just share their words.



***



From Woman's Worth Promotions: http://womansworthpromotions.blogspot.com/

To launch the Woman's Worth Promotions, we are running a contest starting the first week of September.

Every day from September 1st to September 7th, a woman owned business will be profiled.



Each profile will have their own post-their own direct link.



At the end of the week, on September 8th, voting will open.



The profile with the most votes will be awarded one month of free publicity services of their choice.



 If you would like to take part in this contest, send an email to womansworthpromotions@gmail.com with the word "Contest" in the subject line. Include a brief bio, a blurb about your company/service, a JPEG image, your links and a personal tidbit.



Woman's Worth Promotions reserves the right to refuse entry into the contest based on exceeding number of entries and suitability. If your entry is rejected, you will receive a note explaining why but will be given the opportunity to be featured on the Woman's Worth Promotions blog.

Starts and Stops

Whereby the Tart proves she is possibly insane.



Why do things sometimes flow super smoothly, and sometimes there is this productivity constipation... this inability to GO. It happens with the WRITING, it happens with the DAY JOB, it happens with the TYPING.... and, erm... It happens with the BLOG.

Cozy Update



I have finished chapter 14 (of 20 0r 21), in a burst of speed—2000 words Monday night. 1500 last night, after writing nearly NOTHING over the weekend. See... my Sunday evening I ended up lounging by my neighbor's pool (I know, life is rough). Like I said... fits and starts. I am on target though, for the WRITING. It is the TYPING, I am having trouble getting done (maybe it is the evenings typing up three blogs instead of typing... but I suppose it gives me a couple nights of very LITTLE blogging in the next few, so I should be able to make up for it.

Reading List



It is REALLY growing somehow... I am almost done with The Watchmen by Brian Freemantle—a decent book. Next up is my read of Ted Cross's fabulous book—I'm excited to read it, though my purpose is feedback—hoping to help him spot the strengths and weaknesses from another reader's perspective. THEN, I have a stack... from the library, from my birthday.... I'm excited to read ALL of them, but find myself WRITING instead.





The EDITING



Don't you DARE ask me about editing! I have a MAJOR stack to get to. Erm. Someday.





Querying



Haven't done it since JANUARY. Because of that editing stack.

And the BLOG PLAN! HA!



I can make plans. Remember. I'm good at making plans. It is FOLLOWING plans I am bad at. Tomorrow is adequately delusional. Friday I am participating in The Rejectionist's Blogiversary—you all should to: a simple essay in any form themed “What Form Rejections Mean to Me”.





So what are YOU up to?  Are you progressing well, or having trouble pushing it?

Burrowers, Books & Balderdash: LAUNCHED

If you've been paying attention (and believe me, I won't hold it against you if you haven't—that would be hypocritical), you might know that my Writer's Group, The BURROW, is launching a group blog today. It is INCREDIBLY beautiful [most credit for that going to Mari for the current design and a collaboration between Jason and Joris for the background, if I understand correctly—whatever the case, in some combination, those three are the primary set who are technically, graphically capable], and the contributors are AMAZING.

There is Chary, high school special ed teacher in New York City, with her incredible insight into life, both the shiny fabulous part, and the dark underbelly. There is Cruella (Mari) who some of you know—Mari is the baby, but you'd never known it—she has been a Digressionista since some time in the late fifties, where her master's thesis finds focus, even though she wasn't born until the eighties. There is Jason, quietly working behind the scenes most of the time, because secretly, he is so clever that if he made more noise, he would be ruling the world, and I think just doesn't want the hassle... or maybe he just KNOWS that when a quiet person finally speaks, everyone listens (he also happens to write FUNNIER material than anyone I've ever known—always the quiet ones, eh? There is Leanne who pretty much knows EVERYTHING. She read a book a day, is a professional violist and inclined to KNIT handcuffs (you heard me). There is Rayna, my Thursday Twin, often our wise compass, as the rest of us go about our insanity, but she (with Jason + a couple more, not participating in the blog angle) are the organized origin of the Burrow (and the reason I ever decided maybe I really could write a book. And last, but certainly not least, there is Tara-- the guide for our first Burrow public project, and is personally responsible for spreading the Taff language across the planet—believe me, you want to learn.



But the Bio Page at the new blog will give you a better idea. There we are in a nutshell, but my main point TODAY, is please come see us!



Burrowers, Books & Balderdash

DECOY BLOG

oops... over shot...



I was scheduling TOMORROW'S post and missed the 'posting options'

Out of Control

For those of you new around here, and there seem to be a fair few (YAY!), Saturday I usually have at least SOME fitness focus... January I started a weight loss plan, but thought once a week was adequate to address it... Today I am wishing I didn't have to address it at all, but in the spirit of accountability... There ARE though, other things to talk about... Maybe I'll give you a sneaker:



~ Are any of the rest of you getting RECRUITMENT EMAIL?

~ What the heck is HAPPENING around here?

~ Why am I suddenly spiralling out of control?

Recruitment of my BLOG



Are you freaking serious? Is this familiar to any of you? I've gotten like 4 emails in the last week asking my BLOG to participate in this or that network and it is scaring the poo out of me. I mean... they SEEM nice enough, but I'm terrified! You know WHY? 1) I don't know if they're legitimate and I don't want to give some illegitimate annoying marketing scam POWER. 2) I don't seem to have the excess mental capacity at the moment to learn something NEW. 3) I don't REALLY have time if these things TAKE time, which it sort of seems they OUGHT to if they are any good... 4) I really don't want to muck anything up... BUT I am also scared NOT TO. What if this is how to send my blog into the stratosphere and guarantee this giant force to help me out when my book comes out?



I would LOVE to hear experiences or advice about any of these. Are any of them GOOD? Is it worth the TIME? Are any of them TRAPS? HELP!

Hit Explosion



I've had my best week ever in blog hits, including a DAY that surpassed my former highest ever (the BuNoWriMo one)--but the odd thing is, I'm not really sure what happened? I have no clue WHO is now coming in... I've had a few new followers this week, but THOSE I can track—three resulted from Alex recommending me as a funny blog (Dude, I owe you!) and the other three, I THINK because of my visiting and commenting at THEIR blogs... but these HITS are way out of proportion.



Past weeks, I typically get about 3 times as many hits as visitors (because a COMMENT means two hits—one for the read and one to submit) I figure this seems pretty normal. My day with 600 hits, it was closer to 80-90 visitors... so the ratio was way off. Granted, I had a record (for me) number of comments that day. But I'm not sure if I just 'leveled' to use a video game term, or if this week was a fluke... I guess I will see.

And Now... OUT OF CONTROL



Life is a whirlwind at the moment. Kids are out of school for summer, hubby is done with his class (and excessively persnickety), WriMo is done and I am Writing my Garden Cozy... And somehow I can't seem to get my eating under control.



For the first three months of the year I did REALLY WELL. Then, since April 1, I've been steady—no more loss, but no gain... And in both cases I can identify WHY. I did WELL when I was actively counting points. I stopped counting points in April but have maintained pretty practical eating levels, with only rare splurges.



This week I couldn't seem to stop the SPLURGES. Heck, I bought POP TARTS this week at work because I convinced myself I was starving. POPTARTS are not the answer! Neither are potato chips! Hubby didn't help the matter AT ALL. Our dinners were... a few things that are fine once or twice a week, and a few things that are only fine once in a blue moon (pizza, nachos), but 5 of the last 7 nights, dinner has been beef based. Beef, in and of itself isn't awful, but probably 2-3 nights ought to be the limit. MY PROBLEM THOUGH is because it is higher in fat and calories, it is double the points per ounce, so REALLY messes with the 'plan' or else leaves me HUNGRY and I was not in the frame of mind to be HUNGRY.



The other problem is, we are pretty frugal around here, so what I take for LUNCH, is what was left over from DINNER... you can see how 5 nights of beef + pizza compounded... And then when I am feeling SORRY for myself, man-oh-man!

So the weight is up this week, and I know WHY. What I FEAR, is that on this roller coaster, I have hit the low and am on my way up. I know technically I ought to be able to pull myself back into line, but I also know my history. It frightens me. I am going to spend some time walking this morning and try to wrap my head around the psychology of it and see if I can shift where my head is. Probably what I need is a lovely lake to skinny dip in or something... that always improves my perspective. I bet these guys know where the good water is...

Why Blog?

Oh, I know. I am preaching to the choir in here—all of YOU get it! You are among the Blogosphere ROCK STARS, practicing this divine art day in and day out, but I've recently had a couple reminders that not everybody gets it: one courtesy of READING the THINGS, the OTHER courtesy of me fumbling around in a social network that I have not yet mastered.

Confusion Defined

I saw several blogs, maybe three weeks ago on whether authors needed blogs to sell books. There was some decent advice mixed in, but I think, frankly, they were addressing the wrong question, because the relationship is not as direct as that sentence would lead us to believe.

The second case was me fumbling around on Goodreads, stumbling into a forum to have a conversation about books... who did I seek out? Writers, of course. But... not knowing the system, I 'searched' for writers and stumbled into a group that I THINK is younger, and REMINDED me of talking to the ABNA folks about blogging, only more so. There was a conversation about 'how to go about publishing' with the usual 'well there is this and that self publishing' and a couple—blah blah blah 'publisher' and a single suggestion of 'I think you need an agent'. I was singularly IMPRESSED with how GOLL DARNED MUCH I HAVE LEARNED in the last year... thanks to you.

Running With It

(not the scissors this time)



The Missing the Point Point: *cough*  If you are blogging to reach readers and convince them to buy your book, you are either ALREADY FAMOUS or delusional. No, I don't mind either one, but I just need to be REALLY CLEAR. Readers do NOT LOOK for blogs of DEBUT AUTHORS. People who WRITE may FIND AUTHORS and then become curious to read their books (it's happened to me--I've read some of YOUR books) but non-writing readers are not going to go about it that way. DO NOT BLOG TO REACH READERS.

You can blog to CONNECT with ALREADY readers... this is a very good plan, I'd say... very nice for an author website to include a blog. I've seen suggestions of telling where book ideas came from, telling some little bit that is more PERSONAL (though warnings not to overshare—especially to consider your genre and how compatible YOU and your GENRE are in the reader's brain) that readers might not find elsewhere, giving a little process on where you are on the NEXT books... Go for it. Just know the only people reading are either there because they ALREADY read you, or because they are ALSO social networking.



The way you increase book sales by blogging is by expanding that 'on the ground' force... the BUZZ creators, the people who get to know you over months or years, who end up LIKING you well enough to follow through on such things as: “if you go into your local book store, will you make sure my book is there and email me if not?” or “Here is my book tour schedule, if you are in the area can you please show up so I don't sit there looking like an idiot?” or “My book is coming out Saturday, will you please Tweet, facebook share, and include on your blog?” The more people willing to answer YES to those questions, the better your chance of not flopping. You are NOT finding BUYERS, you are finding Co-Marketers.



And I would argue you SHOULD blog for your karma. This blogosphere will help YOU, so when you succeed, you should blog to help the writers who come behind you. They really could USE your wealth of knowledge.

The Not Getting It Point

I don't know HOW MANY blogs I've seen with three or four posts, all about the book. HELLO—you are shouting into NOTHINGNESS. I saw the MOST FABULOUS post yesterday—it is a few weeks old, but you need to see what Maureen Johnson has to say on the matter. It is a FALL DOWN funny read, but her main point is that all of YOU are people. You heard me. You are NOT a figment of my imagination, no matter HOW MANY times you tell yourself you are. What that means for ME, is I can't just talk AT you, I have to talk TO YOU. I need to listen to what you say and respond. I need to visit your blog and comment on what YOU have to say. Bloggers who fail to see this will not get their loyal following.



Now I know people who blog for DEEP relationships and don't go searching down lots of followers—and I totally RESPECT that—they STILL follow, comment, and interact with the dozen or so blogs they ARE connected with. They GET that it is two way, and are making a decision (usually about TIME) that they will only do what they can do well... Not everybody can keep track of 400 blogs and still be a superstar *cough*Elizabeth*cough*



But no matter WHAT you need to get that this process is interactive. Sure, Nathan Bransford has never once responded to me. You know what... You look like that and let me picture you naked, I will probably read you anyway... erm... actually... I read Pub Rants, Janet Reid, Editorial Ass and the Rejectionist too (all women)—NONE of whom to I expect responses from. I also read Nicola Morgan, who just manages to say helpful things pretty often, but I don't comment... as one of 700, I don't feel obliged... but for those of us with followers under... maybe 500, definitely those under 200... the comments keep us going. You want comments... you comment.



BUT THE PERK!!!!



And I can't emphasize this enough—by reading, (feeling obliged to comment, feeling compelled to share) I have managed to LEARN A TON about this publishing industry, the world of BOTH WRITING and GETTING PUBLISHED that I never would have gotten from a book. I probably couldn't have gotten it from an individual, even though there are masters at it. It just HELPS to see things a dozen different ways. There are freaks (and I include myself here) who even learn better by TEACHING. If I have to articulate something (like today) I manage to grind it into my head far enough that I never forget it.





AND THE EVEN BIGGER PERK!!!

(and the MAIN reason I personally blog). I LIKE IT. We should do this because we enjoy it. Otherwise it SHOWS and it is hard to sustain.Listen to Maureen...  HAVE MORE FUN!!!



I blogged once before about HOW to blog, and I don't think THAT has changed, but I think there was the piece missing on WHY to blog... so now you know.

TARTIVERSARY!!!!

It's a Tartiversary

It's a Tartiversary

It's a Tartiversary

Iiiiiiiiit's a Tartiversary!



(come on... sing... I know you know the tune...)





You know what I just learned? If you 'google image' the word Tartiversary, EVERY image is from my blog! That makes it my OWN FREAKING WORD! Oh sure, I lent it to my Sister Tart last week, but she apparently wasn't nearly obnoxious enough with it...

The pool is filled with champagne, The kiddie pool is filled with pudding (to wrestle in--Alex, does this help make up for the man butts?), the fountain is filled with chocolate, and the Soundtrack for the Naked World Domination Plan is PLAYING!



Super Freak



Rainbow Connection



Boys Wanna Be Her (Doll, you make them feel so small, and they love it)--does this song scream World Domination Tour or WHAT?--Video is on the violent side, but I LOVE the song...



I can't believe it was only a year ago I began this blogging thing—it is such a natural extension of my insanity that I really should have discovered it in about 2001, though my life at that point (with a 6 and a 2 year old) wouldn't have accommodated it time-wise. But MAN, this is fun...



I think most people, if you talk to them, have strong preferences for the kind of social networking they like best, and this is DEFINITELY my thing. I love Facebook, but it is more a keep up with friends tool than a make NEW friends tool—Oh, I've made a few friends there—my sister Tart, Jan, I found there... The Divine Marian... but I feel like HERE, with the volume we all SHARE, it is far more conducive to getting to KNOW each other... Facebook, mostly, are acquaintances... HERE we make friends. Twitter, we NETWORK. The Twitter thing I think I ONLY do for the cross pollination of the other things I do... to Tweet about blogs... and that is important, as I learned recently with the BuNoWriMo thing... MAN, can it make a difference! But it is too fast paced and 'right place/right time' dependent. I don't like something I have that little control over. Blogging though... THAT, I love... you see... I get to spout my ideas and opinions and then people READ THEM! HooHOO! (is my narcissism showing?)







Sentimental Journey



I finished my first book in October 2008 and proceeded to polish and hone. In April 2009 I (MISTAKENLY) felt I was ready to query for the first time and dived into Facebook with an author's profile. Two months later, I decided I needed a blog. My first ever post can be found, here. A little after a month in, I came out as having my writing roots in Harry Potter and invited my friends (see below) and I started madly inviting my Facebook friends to follow via Networked blogs... progress tricked along... I made friends... and oddly enough, I grew in my confidence to DO THIS THING. I think NaBloWriMo (National Blog Writing Month, post a blog every day for a month) last October, took things to a new level... for starters, I dragged some of my writing group into this blogging thing... (me and my FOMS[Fear of Missing Something], doing that peer influence thing...) it's always been the way... The Tart can't resist and soon all her friends are knee deep in it...



But that was a turning point of sorts... a feel for how EVENTS can grow things... I've waxed and waned for how much of that I had time for, but I've definitely kept my eyes open, as I think it's one of the better ways to grow your blog visibility, and if people never see you, they can't fall in love.



And I fit in the writing stuff... oddly enough, writing four more books in that year, but having my GRANDEST success via blog... voice spotted... suggestion made... trial attempted... so a year later, I may not have an accepted book, but I DO have a contract... and agent... a plan... leave it to me to back in...





Blog High Points



(these are the ones that sort of shocked me at the time with a high number of hits or comments)

August was about the point I passed the 'average of five' comments per blog... but the formatting for the blogs back then lack paragraph breaks for some blogger related reason... I was angsty in August, probably because I was querying, and that was when I CONFRONTED my mother about problems I'd identified clear back in June. But I was definitely getting my legs under me, planning my book tour, joining stuff, making friends, I started getting blog hits for people searching Naked World Domination Tour and Nudist Group. In February..., 8 months in, I finally felt my first inkling of fame with  Be A Blog Slut (19 comments, which at the TIME felt like a million)... Some may have frowned at my resorting to admirable arses and beautiful behinds in April as I blogged A to Z, but hey... when you are a Tart, it is probably better to work with it than against it—you try to hide it and eventually you offend 'em ANYWAY and misleading then offending is worse than being upfrontally offensive... or so I see it... sort of the difference between being a tease and a slut... see, the first is unforgivable, the second, merely naughty... such is tart logic.







Fabulous Followers



I was feeling really proud of progress, then went to Karen Gowen's Blogiversary yesterday and saw in one year SHE had earned 256 followers, or some such thing... Ah well... there will always be overachievers out there, eh?



My story is slow and steady... My Zodiac location (Cancer) on the solar map, in some cultures, is the tortoise, after all (still crusty on the outside, soft in the middle, with a shocking resilience) My first followers came as I poked a couple friends (mostly my writer's group), but the first big spurt (13 followers according to the comments on the Harry Potter outing post listed above) came from me making a plea where people already knew me. You see, I got my writing legs acclimated at HPANA, a Harry Potter site, writing fan fiction. I went from a tentative wobbly writer, to a confident (if still insane) one. From there I begged on Facebook... (pathetic, yes, helpful... erm... probably). NEXT, I started stalking Elizabeth, and following the blogs in her sidebar and commenting THERE (that helped a bunch—she's friends with some very nice people)--for the record... if you want to build a following, I DEFINITELY recommend stalking someone who's doing it right.



My first EVENT that earned me followers in a batch was the NaBloWriMo-- there was some mutual following and lots of support—I think I maybe earned another dozen followers that way... the year rounded out with maybe 50 followers at my 6 month mark... Participating in Amazon earned me some more, but possibly only because I began a TOPIC there on blogging and got it rolling. There was a way to LINK blogs, but I think people weren't actively doing much with them.



By April and Blogging A to Z, I had 70 followers and gained about 40 through participating from blogging A to Z , a handful from BuNoWriMo and a couple even in the last few days that I think may be because I am following more Cozy Mystery blogs and Tweeters... So there we have it... one year and looking like 131 followers via Blogger, 147 through Facebook (though I figure there is about a 30-50% overlap—people following both ways. So somewhere around 200 people...





It pleases me.

My Thanks to You



I don't have large stashes of swag to share, but I want to do a drawing to thank all of you, past and future for supporting me.



Leave a comment FOR TODAY, June 12, totaling the following.



-New followers get one (after I went to bed last night—via blogger—I don't have a way to see WHEN network bloggers join, BUT if you were a follower via FB and ADD via blogger—tell me, you can get the 3) , older followers get THREE entries (because I love you already and want you to have an advantage for already being on the Good Ship Tart!)



-If you can get THAT man to follow me, automatic win.



-Tweet me—one more chance (please include @hartjohnson)



-Facebook share this post—one more



-Mention in a blog with a link (and share with me)—two more



I am giving away a critique—either a plot read of a whole novel (up to 500 pp). Review will include a summary of strong and weak, and probably a sentence or two for each chapter about what worked and didn't, or a CAREFUL read—grammar, sentence structure—in track changes, of the first 50 pages. I'm not a super SPEEDY reader, but I've gotten pretty good at suggesting how a broader work might be improved. If you don't NEED a critique, it is transferable to someone you are friends with who DOES need one--just email me with who gets it.



I will tally and do the draw at the end of June... closing Midnight East Coast US time as it turns from June to July. but I am only considering comments on TODAY'S blog. (just a ton easier to keep track of)







Back to the PAH-TAY!



So your final assignment is to do something this weekend that is a SPLURGE. Eat or drink something you normally don't, spend some time (alone, with someone—define your splurge) that is indulgent compared to normal life, enjoy some scenery, or some company, or some aesthetic pleasure that you usually just put off... (it could be a museum if you like art, a trail if you like nature, a nudy magazine if you are Mr. Tart...) Whatever it is you ENJOY that you normally put off... enjoy it a little this weekend... as your Tartiversary present to me!  If you can do it naked, all the better--at the VERY least, forgo pants.



You people are FABULOUS!