Elizabeth Rocks!

Okay, it may not look like it, but this theme ALSO began in Austin... well, it BEGAN when I decided to come out of the closet as a writer and stumbled across Elizabeth, but it was certainly reinforced in Austin.





The Austin Part



Stacy and I talked writing, quite a lot... It is to be expected... we have been friends about 6 years, but both of us just managed our first publishing contracts within the last year, so we paced and worked and toiled together, and now we are panicking together...

The first question, if I am keeping things straight, came when we were talking promotional plan... see... I signed on for a well-oiled machine, and have not yet been ASKED my promotional plan, where Stacy said it was a very stressful thing. My response? When the time comes, I am going to look and see what ELIZABETH does and I'll do that (certainly not so well, but it is a GOOD plan, and so I will aspire to it).



The next one... Stacy was bowing to my blogging prowess... because... you know... you guys are fabulous, and somehow you are all reading ME... (of course I am reading most of YOU, too...) but Stacy said she didn't know how I blogged almost every day. “Do you know anyone who blogs every day?” And you know what? I DO! Elizabeth!

I only wear glasses to see...

The last one I remember, though I'm sure there were at least a few more... we were waiting in line to go through the metal detector into the capitol (didn't even manage to be frisked—RATS!) and Stacy brought up taxes... and did I know you could deduct your writing space... and I said, “Well of course I know! From Elizabeth!”



We laughed considerably that Elizabeth was the answer to every question, but in a way that was full of admiration and fun. It's nice to be able to find all the answers in one spot.





The Primary Lesson



You see... I can be a little flighty (mostly memory stuff) but I have a pretty firm grasp on what I know and don't know. It became clear VERY FAST after joining this blogging community that there was A LOT to learn...



You know what ELSE I know? It is FAR EASIER to learn from someone who knows what they are doing... someone open to questions when you need answers... rather than digging and sorting fact from fiction and having trouble finding the pertinent information.

source

The best move I made in this social networking thing was identifying someone doing everything right... someone generous with her knowledge... and following her around.



Her style and mine are relatively opposite, Elizabeth is helpful, where I am more the frivolous version. But it has helped me over and over and over again to know where to look when I am trying to figure something out.



Whatever it is you want to do, figure out who is doing it right, and go ahead... shamelessly follow, ask, praise... You will learn what you need... You will get something... THEY will get something.







How do I know that?



Among my ABNA friends I've had a few strokes in that direction—thanks for guiding... pushing, sharing... it feels good. It builds good will.



Writing, unlike other professions, doesn't HAVE to have losers to have winners. If we ALL succeed, the whole business benefits and we all win. It is one of the few places I've seen that competition really has great will between competitors. Today they are supposed to announce the ABNA finalists, and I will cheer and be THRILLED for the winners... I've had a really good ride. I've made a lot of friends, learned a lot... and honestly, I think I've helped a few people. It is a win for all.



And to everyone who says to me, 'holy cow! How did you get 500+ blog followers?' I am THRILLED to point at Elizabeth and say she showed me how.





Speaking of, Elizabeth has a book release next month as Riley Adams: Finger Lickin' Dead. Watch for it! (she is visiting here the 14th)

Back Yo Yo!

*cough* Oh, I know... I don't look much like a gangster, but I probably have something in common with those goofy childhood toys that couldn't be controlled by anything but skilled hands... *shifty*



So I had a FABULOUS trip. Living in poverty, I really only get the chance to travel when my work pays for it, and I LOVE it when they send me somewhere that I KNOW someone who can show me a good time.

Llama and Penguin Paint the Town



So a couple really nice things happened Wednesday morning. The FIRST was that a baby skunk was in our yard and was very amusing to watch snurfle around our yard as I waited for my driver (okay, so he's my bosses driver, but she shared him). And there was no person in the middle seat on the long leg of the flight (Detroit to Dallas) so I could sprawl a bit... okay, not a BIT, but a bit... and THEN, when I got to my hotel, even though it was only 11am, they let me check in!



I did my obligatory work thingy-do, then Stacy came to the hotel (all excited about her FAB parking spot). She claimed to have a poor sense of direction, but I am google map queen, so we walked from there to Stubbs for (DELICIOUS) barbeque.

Note: Google Maps does not warn about the 'rough' part of town. Not sure what it was exactly, but there was a largish group of needy people waiting for SOMETHING, and police arresting somebody else... It was never frightening, as nobody approached us, even for a handout, but it was a little bit one of those...erm... wrong neighborhood... moments...



The barbecue was FAB!!! (and the company more so—my face STILL hurts from laughing so much three days later)



And then we came back to plug Stacy's meter... and then we walked up and down 6th a bit (erm...) and then up to the Capitol building. We discussed joining a group of kids for an official tour (debating how much Spanish we spoke, as it seemed that may need to be the tour language), but then learned we could have an official tour all on our OWN... I'm sure we scared the woman, but it was really interesting to get some Texas history. I'd had no idea Texas was once it's own country... that the people of Texas had lived under 6 flags (not the theme park, though it took a while to establish that detail): Spain, France, Mexico, Texas, the US, and... erm... I forget the 6th... Oh right... the Confederate flag—they were on the WRONG side in the civil war *cough* (my great X6 grandpa was a Vermont sharp-shooter and I am a northerner all the way through).

Yup... pretty penisey... Leigh, explain this...

The capitol building (above, behind Stacy and I) is cool... almost identical to the Michigan one, for good reason, it is the same designer! (a Michigander no less)... The Texas one is the biggest capitol, though not the tallest... Louisiana has the tallest, though according to her, Louisiana's looks like a penis... okay, so maybe that wasn't the words she used... but she implied it... Stacy and I might have used the word, though Stacy probably used the words Meaty Thunderstick... (did I use that term out of context, Stace?) *giggles* (see, pretty much everything is giggle material for Stacy and I)



After the capitol tour, we went back to plug the meter... it might be possible you are detecting a trend, though it's a little early to be sure... and we went to an art gallery... Austin artists... whereby I proved I was dark and disturbing and Stacy proved she's a nut... It's all about interpretation, sort of like those pictures that can be two things at once... I really dug the dead body display... I'm serious... it was subtle, and surely it means I'm edgy and mysterious that I spotted them *shifty*

Then we plugged the meter... walked 6th a bit more discussing bats—see, Austin has the largest urban bat population in the US and we thought maybe we'd like to SEE it, but we weren't sure where they were. We tried (TWICE) to go to the bat bar to find out, and then proved once and for all that THERE'S NO HARM IN A U-TURN (Yes, we were walking, but it still needed to be said) when we went BACK to The Chupacabra for Margaritas... The gal at the Chupacabra knew where the bats were, but it didn't keep me from having two...



Then we went back to plug the meter... *shifty* and register for my conference (they didn't allow check-in until 5). It's possible we were loud and obnoxious, but nobody brought it up later, so at least I've got that going for me.



Then we walked down to try to see the bats, who unfortunately insisted on sleeping until sunset, and Stacy had to pack for a 5am drive to Dallas (Hopefully her peeps were stellar at their competition) so we gave up.

Conference conference conference

Then FRIDAY, I got to meet CAROL!

Stolen from here

Now Carol and I don't have the same zany history as Stacy and I do, but it was FABULOUS to meet for a bowl of soup and cup of coffee... chat books—mystery strategy, pantsing versus planning... learn about each other—she's FABULOUS! I really enjoyed it!



I have a few more topics from my conference, but I think I will sprinkle them a little. I hope to make a good run at catching back up with my peeps (meaning all of you) this week. It's sort of strange being gone... I've lost a follower here... SEVERAL on Twitter... though I think there there is a software somethingorother that drops people who don't post statuses or something... SURELY I can't be more offensive ABSENT than PRESENT otherwise...



I am glad to be back and looking forward to catching up!

Writers & Friendship

It would be a gross exaggeration, and a disservice to some fabulous people to claim I had a friendless childhood—I didn't. I had a fair few close friends and was more casual friends with... pretty much everybody. My secret is that I had an overdeveloped sense of empathy, so I was pretty much always nice... or at least never MEAN.

[I'm in the back middle, Peg, middle right]



And a few of my close friends knew me pretty well... probably Peggy best, because we were in the same nursery school class, so friends well before I was WORRIED what people thought—no need to pretend with those people. Plus Peggy is an Aquarius... the sign where anything goes... no judgment, just grooviness.



But MOSTLY I felt like I wasn't really ME. You see, in spite of my breadth and depth of friends, I was a little... uncomfortable in my skin... SHY... no, not shy exactly... well indoctrinated that one should never let it be known you don't have a clue. I was a really good LISTENER... and I think my advice isn't bad, as I DO listen, and try to just ask the right questions unless it is something I know a lot about. But if I didn't have a clue? Until I was about 22 (when I reached a point at which there was very little I was clueless about) I just smiled and nodded. (got me into a little trouble-that).

So What About the PEN FRIENDS



I never ONCE had a pen friend in Brazil who threatened to send me a hat that would shrivel my ears.

*cough *

Seriously though, I started collecting addresses when I was 9. Camp Ne-Wa-Lu (I am sure that's spelled wrong). My early letters were clumsy and inane but when, at 11, I met Melinda, I was READY for a real pen pal... being boy crazy will do that to a girl. Melinda and I proceeded to write weekly (at least) for a decade.



And you know what? She knew more of what was in my heart, of my insecurities, of my dreams, than ANY of my friends I saw on a daily basis. It wasn't that my friends were failing me, it was that I related better with a pen in hand. I always sort of thought that was a failing of mine.





Relationships



You see... when I was upset... I wrote a letter... even if the person I was upset with was in the next room or a phone call away. It drove some of them crazy. (and from time to time it did).



Oh yes... relationship failing indeed...





BUT WAS IT?

Online Friendship



I first dived into online communities at HPANA, a Harry Potter discussion site that at the time I joined in 2005 seemed to mostly be a bunch of middle aged women and teenage boys. Oh, there were some teen girls, too, but the teen girls were interested in the 'ships' (various romantic pairings) where we were talking about WAR! (That would be the Wizard War).



Mostly, we theorized, joked, played... and I made some friends... some women formed a friends group for more personal sharing. We grew closer. One was coming NEAR here... I met her... I started writing fan fiction... made more (similar) friends. I met a couple more HPANA friends when I was on business meetings...



It was all GREAT. It was like I KNEW people. It was never the awkward 'I don't know this person' thing.

And then The Burrow Began



It was like FAMILY, only I LIKED THEM. (kidding, I like my family... but they irritate me more often). But my writer's group DEFINITELY knows me better than my family or personal friends.



Again... I felt a little odd...



And then I started THINKING (you know how dangerous THAT is!) And I started talking to OTHER writers, and I've read several blogs (like this one from Lisa yesterday) that made me realize how I'm NOT that freaky... for a writer...





What do writers do? (not a trick question)-- WE WRITE! Why on earth should it shock us that this is how we bond? That we get closer to each other by writing and reading what each other write... That we in fact share MORE in writing (with each other) than we do with (even our closest) friends. Heck, all of YOU know more than most of my family, or my lifetime friends.



So It's official... I love all o' y'all!

Friday Hodge Podge

Been a while since I used that, eh, but it seems appropriate this week. Why?



You win some, you lose some, yeah? I've had a couple victories this week... Part of it just making up for lost ground...





Back to Writing

Progress on the Cozy Mystery took a little bit to get under way after the WriMo (speaking of which, anyone interested in a summary of the WriMo, please check out this post) It is the first for the Burrow's new blog (which has launched fabulously, thanks to a ton of YOU GUYS!)



Anyway... switching projects can take on several faces... sometimes a new project is nagging at you and you can't wait to get to it, and when you FINALLY give in, it FLIES. THIS one though, I wrote four chapters for the audition, then polished and polished and polished. I had written the next chapter, but I STILL have no clue where THAT is. In June (during the WriMo) I managed to REwrite chapter 5... but somehow I couldn't do both. I have at times done two projects, but it wasn't working this time—maybe because the stakes are higher on this.



And then chapter 6 took AGES to force out... but 7 and 8 have flowed... (the ones since the story board... funny, that... maybe it works) I am definitely outlining more closely, but that doesn't mean I don't get beautiful moments, like the Boxers versus Briefs argument Cam and Annie just had *cough*



It seems to be coming together well though—I'm pleased with it and plan to send the first two chapters out on Saturday to the Burrowers who are reading the Chapter By version.



What the heck is a Chapter By, you ask? I have 3 Burrowers reading weekly what I produce, and another 2 reading the whole thing when I'm done. It is backward from how I think editing is IDEAL, but under deadline, it is most logical to me. I CAN'T share the whole thing until it's DONE, and if I wait until after THAT edit to fix the smaller stuff, then I am rushing. If I do it this way, I shouldn't be too stressed over the timing.







Back to WORK



Not that I've been vacationing or anything profound, but I've been distracted and inefficient for a while, but it seems to me that mojo is in line again. So that's something.

My Insanity Where Bills and Bureaucracy Are Concerned.



I also gave in and ordered the blasted unnecessary marriage certificate. You know what? The phone people at the state records in Oregon are a heck of a lot more pleasant than ANY OF THE REPRESENTATIVES OF THE EVIL BLUE CROSS, THE COMPLACENT UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN OR KELLY FREAKING AUDITING BASTARDS. Erm... sorry. Had to get that out of my system. It STILL rankles me (and I DO plan to send a bill for my cost of $32.50 to order the UNNECESSARY document. I can get carried away with making my point, but it makes me feel better)



I also send my monthly power bill to the DTE Mafia (seriously—that is who I make the check out to) and have been known to write checks to 'The Crooks at AT&T. Funny thing... they still cash them. I HAVE though, given in to Chase taking over the world.







And then... because I'm helpful... some stuff you may not want to miss...

Interesting Chance to Help



Wednesday Arleebird posted a couple links to a blog that was being posted by the sister of a man who was writing posts from prison. He is a writer who admits to mistakes but wants very much to turn his life around, yet WRITING requires access to a computer, and NETWORKING requires access to the internet. His sister is therefore helping him out I encourage you to go see what Dan has to say. http://thesagaoftheconcretejungle.blogspot.com/



I think he offers a very interesting perspective on prisons, which I think we could ALL use some awareness of, and I also think maybe we all have a little chance to keep him determined to make this life change.



Fellow Blogger could use help



Lisa, a friend I met through Amazon, has a novel that has made it all the way to the TOP 2 in the Fresh Blood Writing Contest. What I am asking is that you go LOOK AT THE ENTRIES and vote. I believe in her work strongly enough that I know I don't even need to tell you who to vote for... just vote.





http://chizine.com/freshblood/



The prize is a writing contract, and she is SO CLOSE! The deadline is next week, so do it soon!







Super Supportive Buddy Having a Contest



Go http://ericaspickard.blogspot.com/2010/06/wolves-and-seahorses-and-contest-oh-my.html and read and enter—Erica is doing a follower drive with giving away SEVERAL books in honor or her hubby's pending return from Afghanistan.

And finally: A note on widgets and followers and visitors... I LOVE my flag counter—I am at 91 countries (This is the latest—though I am vaguely curious why Guernsey gets a flag and Wales and Scotland don't...) and have had visitors from ALL 50 states—how cool is that? I also followed a link yesterday to a search engine and found a Swedish fashion designer who seems to follow me... how cool is THAT? It is really a strange experience to trace backward and find all this stuff about your blog in a language you can't read. There is this surreal feel to it that is both big and small at the same time.



So that is what I have today...



I hope you all have a really fabulous weekend!

Belligerent Burrower

Yeah, me. What of it? Sometimes when I fly by the seat of my pantslessness, which I pretty much always do, I forget stuff. I don't mean to... my intentions are good... but the fruit gets rotten, or the email doesn't get responded to, or... you got it... I forget to tell all of YOU something cool is going on!

Now hopefully this month you will forgive me as TWO somethings cool are going on, and I got the word out pretty darned well about BuNoWriMo... Pretty much everybody who's anybody who didn't have a conflict is participating, knowwhatImean? We have 110 participants! And THAT is a flipping success. I just don't think you could call it anything else.

(and I am at 20,503 words=41%!) Now if you are pretty sure you are SOMEBODY, and you don't have a CONFLICT it is not to late to join us... the daily word count is creeping up, but thus far I've managed better than 2500 words a day, so I figure you could join as late as the 10th and STILL do it. Come on... All the Cool kids are doing it! *cough*



Along with that... can I tell y'all a secret? You won't tell, right? The Burrow, with the wind up of this WriMo, is launching an author blog with ALL of us... I'm really excited, partly because I love my Burrowers so much and it's fun to do something together—we have a synergy as a group, I think that is... well, if not magical, at least somewhat insane... but insane in a good way.



Wait... but I was going to tell you what I forgot to say! Right.



In JUNE, The Burrow website, where we've been doing projects together for about a year and a half... in fact a year and a half this month! Well, we have a FUN FEATURE... See... a few months ago, you'll remember Lee at arleebird's Tossing It Out, hosting a 'Blogging A to Z' yeah? The Burrow decided this month we would DRABBLE A to Z, and some of these drabbles are PRETTY DARNED AMAZING!



What's a Drabble, you ask? A Drabble is a short work of fiction: exactly 100 words (no more, no less) that is a fun exercise in both brevity and word play. The term is a Monty Python one, and since the majority of us practice Digression as religion, the Python Cast are minor deities.



Normally, we write Drabbles to images... something originating in the Steinbeck Cafe, an online literary cafe (now, sadly, out of business) where most of us first connected as writers... THERE we would choose a work of art and all write short stories, but at the website, because of... you know... the attention span of most people (not EVERYBODY can read something... say... as long as my blog *shifty* and keep following... but we felt the drabbles gave us maximum opportunity to show our breadth (we are a very varied group) without anyone (and nobody called me out by name) hogging all the attention.



Anyway (is that the point, I see just ahead?) THIS month, we've all taken letters—randomly assigned, though I haven't examined the random letter generator... I suspect there was also an effort to spread us out, as I got C, J and W... but each day a new letter is revealed... We even have our first guest Drabbler (we plan to have some more as time goes) this month—Marjorie is joining us... though I forget her letter...



So go over and check us out! A new letter is revealed daily—making today, what—I—wait... no... Sundays don't get letters and we've had 2... so G? (I particularly recommend D. Jason would lead you to believe he is a blushing wallflower, but he is among the cleverest, funniest people I know) So hopefully peeking NOW, when you can see several, will be incentive to also go back later in the month when a few more letters are up... or that is the goal...





In other news...





In keeping with the B Theme. (did you notice there is a B theme?) I have a big thanks for one friend B and a hysterical image from another friend B to share with you today...





Naked World Domination Tour gets Sound Track!

You got it! Heard it here first! About a week ago, B. Miller gave prizes on her Pay It Forward deal—one to the fabulous Karen Gowan for all her fine work advancing the cause, and one (randomly selected) to yours truly—My prize—a copy of the Literary Mag with B.'s latest published short story—and can I just say it is FABULOUS—B. Has incredible skill with words—a gift.



Some of you may have seen posts recently on description—Elizabeth had one yesterday and Charmaine maybe Thursday... the CONSENSUS is it is harder than snot to do right, but you know what—B. has it DOWN. Reading, you can actually see and feel and taste where you are (in the story I mean... it would be weird if you couldn't sense where you REALLY are)... it is SO VIVID, but done with a touch where it is all just brushed on in passing—you barely notice noticing... none of that heavy handed narrator telling... all just the observations a character makes, told in beautiful prose. And the contrast between the beautiful prose and the main character, who you learn is in the middle of doing something REALLY DASTARDLY! Powerful stuff. I recommend all of you go over to her blog and follow the couple links to things available ONLINE, and it will prove you may want to order one of these hard copy versions too—this one is a journal called Fissure...



But that wasn't the songs part... the OTHER prize was a Mixed tape of Songs B. picked just for ME! There were silly songs, artisty songs, and Tarty songs, and it is PERFECT for the Naked World Domination tour. Most of it I hadn't heard, though a few favorites (maybe 7 of the 23) I had, and a few had familiar components (like I have heard a few Vampire Weekend songs (love Oxford Comma—what writer geek wouldn't?) but hadn't heard Horchata, the one included (and I can say this proves I like the band more broadly than just their couple geeky songs).



So for all of you on board with the Naked World Domination Tour... We are WIRED FOR SOUND!





And then the biggest laugh I've had in a long time, courtesy of another B. friend... hopefully he won't mind me sharing with my 200 best friends, as anyone FRIENDS with him, saw on Facebook, and nobody else will have a clue who he is...



Y'all know I'm from Idaho, right? Redneck country? I'm a bleeding heart and never fit in there much, but I know a few really fabulous people that fall into all of the stereotypes, though in this case, in a much more humorous, good-natured way than those stereotypes might allow. (he has a very quick laugh, and I love that)



What helps with the mental image here though, is this guy is about 6'3” with a FULL beard... does some of his poses with his guns and his game (like a good Idaho boy)... This was his Sunday status:



Wide awake @5? Have I said I was shameless? Let the dogs out,walk down stairs, hear (dogname) howl, run upstairs, they have the 11yr old paper girl surrounded!! I open the door and yell, they come running, then back to her wagging and licking. Instead of tossing the paper she brings it to me... I've been hiding behind the door in my bikini cut man panties and racy blue sling...think my face may have been red....



MAN I wish I had a real picture... I love that mantie look on a really big guy *snicker*

Stuff Wot I Neglected

So Lola pointed out yesterday that I had goofed REAL BAD in neglecting certain Viking Icons, and when I went to find what I'd been missing, MAN OH MAN! THANK YOU LOLA! You're my HERO!



In case there was anyone similarly lacking in education, I present for you:

Erik the Viking Vamp



This is no SPARKLY Vampire! THIS, is a NAKED Vampire!!! A HOT Naked Vampire. None of that rated G monster for the Tart. Lola, Dahlink, I hereby grant you lifetime membership on the executive board of the Naked World Domination Tour!

How is it even POSSIBLE I have missed this man morsel? In my defense, that whole bad writing, ending out of left field thing did serious damage to a genre that doesn't deserve it. I mean seriously... Dracula is pretty good (great, if you consider its 1900 decade peers), I loved Interview with a Vampire (though confess to being a less sophisticated reader 20 years ago--I may have even liked Twilight back then). I enjoyed The Historian. All those though, deal with the monstrosity of Vampirism, even if the Anne Rice version was sympathetic (I guess I expect the narrator to be sympathetic, so it makes sense). I even have a rather classy Vampire (Dracula himself) featured in one of my fan fictions (The Best Laid Plans) that ends up in Romania (because of course that is where Rowena Ravenclaw's WAND should have been (it was my theorized Ravenclaw horcrux... Y'all know I spent YEARS trying to predict Deathly Hallows, right?) Victor Krum even gets BITTEN by a Vampire—it's a fun tale! *cough*



But anyway, again, THANK YOU LOLA for introducing me to Erik, my newly preferred vampire...

Welcome Newbies!



On my Flag counter, I had 3 new countries yesterday! Malaysia, The Czech Republic and Iceland! I also, embarrassingly, had a new Swedish visitor (embarrassing because I poked a little fun at them). I just love watching the Naked World Domination Tour take off! Though I have to wonder a little bit when one of my new visitors is looking for spankings in the bathtub *snort *







And the FINALE: Old Friends... well not OLD, but LONG-TIME



I told you guys all about WAITING for Marie on Saturday, but I DIDN'T tell you about our visit!



I don't know how many of you share this experience, but I suspect, given the dominance of writers among my readers, that it isn't uncommon... you have a more peripheral friend... one you get along with, but don't KNOW particularly well... you find each other on line (two people who LIKE to interact in WRITING) and you find out you enjoy each other more and have more common ground than you ever realized, because in the REAL world, you just run in different circles.

This is Marie and I. Marie is a year older (not apparent) and the personal trainer between us (much more obvious) but we went to the same GRADE school--we're talking 35+ YEARS—her sister is my age and actually the only person who ever inspired ME to act competitive (I am rather mellow unless provoked)--Marie and I seem to share this...



We both took Spanish, and so went to Europe on the same school trip, circa 1980... okay, it was IN 1980...--she encouraged me to 'go for' a boy who was very cute but much older and therefore intimidating to inexperienced me. She was always bubbly, outgoing and popular... I was NICE (nobody really DISliked me), but didn't really find my social footing until college. I never offended, but neither was I the center of attention (that is only my writer persona)--but Marie is the real deal.



When I was first tempted into the social media, after more than a year sticking exclusively to a Harry Potter site... that's right, only the one... (HPANA, I love you-and Cheeser, if I sell a book, you can expect a check!)... I was convinced to give MySpace a try. I had my 14 HPANA friends... and Marie. She was the first person from my high school I found who I knew well enough to say—hey yeah—this would be a fun connection to make... There were more, eventually, though at MySpace I think I only EVER had 50 friends before I switched over to Facebook. But in that early era of social networking, Marie and I had a chance to reconnect before 'the party started to fill up' so to speak. I LOVE each new friend I connect with, but I feel like MOSTLY it is 'catching up' where those first early ones allowed a 'get to know' time before things got noisy—ifyouknowwhatImean...



So I was thrilled and flattered when I shouted out that I was going to Baltimore for my conference, that Marie said she would drive up from Virginia to meet me for dinner.



And you know what I noticed?



That it's TRUE that all this online communication grows a friendship--I KNEW this among 'never met friends', but it works for these 'growing friendships' too. That it is EASY to talk to somebody you've been 'talking to' because you know what to expect. I also noticed that we had a LOT of differences in our perceptions 'back then'. Part of it was probably Marie being older and popular—we had shared events that I remembered HER and she didn't remember ME. But part of it was just our very different interactions with different people, or the TIME when history happened... for instance, my class in the elementary was the LAST for the most popular 5th and the most popular 6th grade teachers... Marie didn't KNOW because she was at the Junior High before that. (I have a THEORY about my class with its 8 Valedictorians—4 of whom I went to grade school with—of 5 grade schools—but that is a DIFFERENT kind of story).  And me... being the 'good girl' (I hear you snorting, don't think I don't) had different expectations from teachers, than poor Marie, who is drawn like Jessica Rabbit.





Mostly, it is just REALLY fun to reconnect. I'd like to say even way back when that Marie saw the potential of the Inner Tart—encouraging the wildness that makes life more interesting at a time when others were painting me 'nice'. Though it's possible she just took on the 'corrupting young minds' mission well before I did.  So Marie—THANK YOU! It was fabulous!

VIKING POWER!

My friend Mari sent me a post card of wisdom that I received when I got home Sunday night. The Postcard has Viking Laws, and I love it even more for two details. The FIRST is that she taped two pins to it. One says:



Eat My Pants



and the other:



Sverige sugar (translation: Sweden Blows) *snort*





For the record, I am as much Swedish as I am Norwegian, though I've known much more about my Norwegian roots, as that grandma is the one I spent so much time with, and now I have a Norwegian friend/writing sister. But I actually adore this cute little rivalry... I note that it doesn't say DENMARK blows (which is where the actual animosity has a reason to exist, since those pesky Danes spent so many centuries trying to inflict rule on Norway, so I have to think this is more a sibling rivalry kind of thing, and THAT is why I can find it fun.



But the OTHER feature I love about this postcard, is Mari crossed out the word 'Viking' and wrote 'Writer', and then checked them off for me.



*hugs Mari *





So I want to share them with you, so you can become honorary Norsisima with me.

Viking Writer Laws

§1 BE BRAVE AND AGGRESSIVE

Be direct

Grab all opportunities

Use varying methods of attack

Be versatile and agile

Attack one target at a time

Don't plan everything in detail

Use top quality weapons

§2 BE PREPARED

Keep weapons in good conditions

Keep in good shape

Find good battle comrades

Agree on important points

Choose one chief agent

§3 BE A GOOD MERCHANT

Find out what the market needs

Don't promise what you can't keep

Don't demand overpayment

Arrange things so that you can return

§4 KEEP THE CAMP IN ORDER

Keep things tidy and organized

Arrange enjoyable activities which strengthen the group

Make sure everybody does useful work

Consult all members of the group for advice





I ADORE this applied to writing. Mari the Superstar checked me off on all of them, but I can see the benefit of a little more critical analysis.





§1: I feel like here I am doing pretty well—at least since taking on this cozy mystery project, which sort of embodies the spirit of this, I think... a chance came along and I am trying to make the very best of the opportunity, using all my resources... I'm adapting... a ninja of bendiness!



§2: I think here I've done pretty well too. I keep writing ALL the time. I read to try to learn what I don't know (or what I don't even know I need to know—THAT particular pool is VAST). I have the best comrades in the WORLD (and we are all over the world which makes me feel... you know... worldly...)



§3: I think other than feeding into that market assessment thing... I sort of need to write what comes... although I guess this Cozy Mystery thing is another way I am doing this... it is the niche where (hopefully) I can break in.. meeting demand. I also am being extremely careful to be as professional as possible, so I am ALWAYS invited back: provide good work, good product... and hope they want me.



§4: Here I fall down. I have sort of a free form approach to order, and I'm not sure anyone else would recognize it as such. I DO try to hold activities which strengthen the group... but I am not much of a dictator (Naked World Domination aspirations aside) and I am likewise sort of bossy—I WILL be the one in charge... when the bossy person is saying things like... “okay, everybody LIMBO!” I don't know how productive that is. It IS a good time though, and while it may not be enough to make me a full-fledged Viking, I'm pretty sure my Norsisima is in tact.

Blog Events: Blogging A to Z Wrap Up

First, I want to officially thank Lee at Tossing it Out for coordinating the Blogging A to Z which you possibly noticed I participated in during the month of April. I am a hard worker who loves to participate in... well, pretty much anything (you know... the FOMS—for the uninitiated, FOMS-Fear of Missing Something—is my primary psychological disorder... after the insanity thing...) But I am NOT organized enough to set such things up myself, so I REALLY appreciate those organized folks out there who do this. So THANK YOU, LEE!



FOMS aside, I want to sing the praises of these events for a couple OTHER reasons.



Blog event participation does something in a way UNEQUAL to any other thing you can do: it increases your traffic and followers. Not every person/blog is going to meet every OTHER person's interest, but these events that give you a list of blogs to try out and people to meet, have seemed to be the most efficient method of testing things out OUT there.

I began blogging last June (I'm about 6 weeks shy of my anniversary). At FIRST I asked my writer friends to check it out... and had 10ish followers... then I asked my HPANA friends (the people who have read my fan fiction—my earliest first readers) and built to about 20 or 25 followers. Other followers have trickled in one at a time, with only TWO exceptions. NaBloWriMo (which, innuendo desires aside, is NOT actually a month of writing about... okay, never mind... I won't go there...) It is National Blog Writing Month where people committed to blogging every single day in October. Followers bumped greatly.



Okay... there was a small batch from participating in ABNA—but I think only about five of those have stuck... they are a smart group, and I consider many of them friends, but more of them are on Facebook than this blog circuit.  Largely, with a few exceptions, they don't quite GET the blog thing.



But the BIGGIE was this Blogging A to Z. In April, a single month, I went from 70 followers to over 100. Now I know not ALL of these are A to Z related—a few friends have discovered blogging, and a few new people have been met—but that... maybe 5 people... is the exception. MOST of these are because of participating in this event.

So what's the big deal with followers?



Well I think you KNOW I have world domination aspirations, but aside from that... each becomes a degree of separation from THEIR readers, so the more people you reach directly, the more people you might reach INDIRECTLY.



But that's not the only benefit.



I've managed this month to meet a handful of kindred spirits and a BUNCH of really nice people. These kindred spirits out in the blogosphere though, are a very special reward for this usually solitary thing we do. I don't want to name people, as if I forget anybody, I would feel badly (and forgetting is sort of a specialty of mine), but seriously—there are some majorly cool people that have become NOT just part of the network, but friends.





So to everyone I met in April, YOU ROCK.



I want to encourage anyone new to blogging to participate in these things when they come around. I have a long time friend who has been a beautiful blogger in the past, but shy and not terribly frequent, but this month Marjorie SHONE (shined? I think shone is right)... I think her craft grew a lot with the discipline of the daily thing and I KNOW her readership grew. So it is FABULOUS for more timid bloggers.



And I think it helps ALL of us to grow the network... reach more people... it is only by reaching more that we find the truly fabulous matches out there... the people we want to read daily, the people who might help us out when we GET THERE.





And... this just in: 5 days to HURRAY HURRAY the 8th OF MAY!!!! (I will explain Friday, so you have a chance to prepare)--or if you are very naughty, you can google it.



This just in:  Hey, lookie what I got!  Thank you Raquel!  *note to self:  need to do awards...*

Wonderful Writers

I thought maybe I'd throw a little party today because... you know... it's Tuesday, and it's also W day for blogging A to Z, and what is W for besides Woot Woot! So I went looking for a party theme, and you know what I thought? (Course you don't—nobody has quite as twisted logic)... I have a couple friends who've had recent good news on the publishing front, so let's start THERE!

1st: Congratulations B. Miller for hearing that your short story 'Out of the Blue' has been accepted by Moonshine Review! B. has a gift for ambiance, which in a short story is no mean feat. I am very excited for her to finish the horror novel she's working on because if her shorts are any indication (not that she wears shorts—she has committed to the Naked World Domination tour *cough *) that is bound to be one CHILLING BOOK (so hurry and finish it, will you?)

2nd Congratulations, and this is a REALLY biggie: Megan Bostic has found a PUBLISHER for her Book, 'Mending Fences'. Megan is one of my ABNA friends, and I believe Mending Fences was her book that made the top 100 for ABNA in 2008, though I make stuff up, so you maybe should verify with her, though she DOES list the publisher as Houghton Mifflin Harcourt and I know it is Young Adult (so see, I know stuff)...





So Congratulations my friends on your success! May it grow and spread to all!!!

Wonderful Websites



There are LOTS of can't miss websites, but you know what I like? I like informative bloggers you NOTICE YOU BACK. I mean sure, following Nathan Bransford and Janet Reid is a good idea... to get the news and all, and I ADORE Moonrat and the Rejectionist, because humor from the inside does a lot to ease the pain. But the HOW TO and the WHATUP of the writing and publishing stuff, I THINK is more fun to receive from Elizabeth Spann Craig (who focuses on WRITING) and Helen Ginger (who focuses more broadly on the business.



That way you can actually ask questions, and I think they're just as smart. So there...

Wascally Wabbits



The Burrow has been a hive of activity of late. (this is five of a dozen of us) Some of you may not know, but the Burrow is my writing group—three years old now, but it had only been a central core of us who'd been doing much for over a year... we've decided to revive and vitalize, so I've been... you know... doing a lot of side stuff. I am trying to still do my blog reading, but some days I have other obligations.



The Burrow has been so important to my first finishing a novel, then polishing... it is my solid core of writing support, but also my family that likes me (as opposed to the one that lives with me and is hit and miss on the liking front). It's so exciting when a few of us had felt a little like... empty nesters or something... bring everyone home and get the activity going again. Expect exciting things from us in the months to come!!!

Fierce Friends

You know what my FAVORITE relationship is in books? It isn't romance. It's not parents. It's not siblings... On occasion it's grandparents (but more on that tomorrow), but my favorite dynamic—the one with the most fantastic possibilities, is FRIENDSHIP. I think the REASON is that I have some fantastic FRIENDS.

Flawed Filial Foundations



I don't have any real complaints about my family (mother issues aside). In fact I have a fabulous family, albeit filled with freaky quirks. We're not however, short on flaws or neuroses, and THAT is probably why I have always ALSO needed my friends.





When I was in graduate school was my first exposure to the term 'Families of Choice'. Sometimes, even though families have to love and accept us, they don't. But friendships form families with foundations built in love, trust, shared experience—and for any of us with flawed families, which I think is everyone, they can provide a place for that unconditional acceptance we all need.



In my own family, I've never felt unaccepted (except by my mom's refusal to introspect a little when it is desperately needed, and her unwillingness to accept my husband's personhood, but that is, as I said, my only real issue), but there are some skills I NEVER would have learned there.



Foot in Mouth as Fashion: There are two kinds of people in my family. Those that say whatever comes to mind, no matter how rotten, and those who never say a THING no matter how necessary. In between there is an area called 'gentle truth' where a person says what is necessary if it will improve life or relationships, but not MORE because it's just mean to do so. I NEVER would have conquered this among family. (In fact conquering it is why my mother isn't speaking to me—how dare I tell her she needs to learn to be nice or she will alienate her grandkids?)



Fabulous Food: My grandma made the standards well, but I come from Seventh Day Adventists on one side (creative cooking anyone? No meat, but without the Asian/Indian/Italian fallbacks I would take were I to give up meat), and Norwegians on the other (no offense, Mari—other than the sweets, this is not my food of choice). Growing up I was convinced I didn't like any foods mixed together, and there was a LONG LIST of things I didn't like. What do you know... it was just how they were prepared... Friends have filled me in on HOW TO EAT.



Fun and Frolick: Like the foot in mouth versus silent dilemma, I also have alcohol abusers and tea totallers with nobody capable of a nice middle ground. Judgment from both ends (then again, this party girl decided young which set looked more fun, so I was just as judgmental for a good long time). In fact though, there are some people out there who don't fall into either extreme... Baffling.





Friendship



I'd like to think I am a fierce and faithful friend. I've had people I love go through the trenches, and a few of them, I've pulled back out myself. I am a Cancer, and the story with we crabs, is we will lose a limb before letting go. It's true. Once in my life, you have a permanent spot, and I will go to the mat for you. It makes it very disappointing if someone is needed and doesn't come through, but it also makes for truly deep bonds.

My husband periodically gets annoyed with my loyalty to people I haven't seen for years. He doesn't have relationships like mine (except the one with me), and he doesn't get how a closeness is maintained in spite of time and distance. He REALLY doesn't get how these friendships can be formed into fast and permanent things with people I've NEVER seen face to face, but I'm a woman of words. I've always gotten closest through writing. My pen pals have always known me better than my real life friends. When you tell somebody something, you risk being cut off, made fun or, or misunderstood. When you write it to them, you can say exactly as much or as little as perfectly explains what you mean.



We talk about writing as solitary, but I never finished anything long when I was writing into a void. Feedback from friends filled my confidence and fueled the fires. Fan Fiction formed the foundation, but only because I met others also driven to write, who liked what I wrote and kept encouraging me.

Fictional Friendships



Do you know what the most fun thing about this Cozy gig (that I should hear about this week or next) is? I am getting to write about best friends. The MC is the 'straight' to the over-the-top, outrageous best friend. Man, am I having fun writing both the FRIEND and the FRIENDSHIP. There are some people who get themselves in a bind now and again (including people who end up in the middle of murder investigations) and it is a FUN dynamic to explore.



My other books all seem to have friendship at the core, too (and the periodic false friends, just to keep life and literature interesting)



I think this is one of the reasons I like the Harry Potter series so well. Youth Fiction seems to keep the friendships front and center. Even an egomaniacal genius like Artemis Fowl ends up with tight friendships (after all, experiencing life threatening events together can do that).



So what is your favorite Fictional friendship? I want to know!





And because I'm bad...