REAL Query Help from Raquel Byrnes!

So yibus know how I love yibus, ne? (that is tart speak for you all know how I love all of you, for the uninitiated)... and how I don't really KNOW all that much, but I want to help yibus out ANYWAY... and you're in LUCK, because I have some REALLY smart friends.

Raquel is a long-time blog buddy and has the REMARKABLE skill of being able to put things in terms that even my thick head can absorb. I am inclined to KNOW when I see good advice, but not really GET what they mean... show don't tell... yeah, whatever... But Raquel, through her TERRIFIC posts has taught me such things as how to write a synopsis, how to ensure a strong premise, and what a media kit needs.

So when I learned she was doing her blog book tour for the release of her Romantic Suspense novel, Purple Knot, I thought, WE want some of that!!! (Holy COW is she organized!?) She had suggested blog topics and said we could pick or make a special request...

I went with a topic I thought we ALL need at some point, and I am VASTLY insufficient to help anybody on... (might as well ask the expert where I have no expertise, eh?) And she's come through fabulously, so Welcome Raquel!

Five Query No-No’s to Avoid

We all talk about agents as the gatekeepers to publication. Well, your query letter is your key to that kingdom. With so much riding on first impressions, here are five query no-no’s to avoid.

• You query someone who doesn’t represent your genre. Make sure to research the agent you send your query to. Websites like Query Tracker and books like Writer’s Market all list the genre agents represent. Do your homework so you don’t waste your time.


• You don’t talk about your book. I know it sounds crazy, but a lot of people do this. Queries are pitch letters for your book. So make the bulk of your one-page allotment about the manuscript. Don’t go off on what inspired you or how you researched it. Sell the idea of the book.


• You have grammar mistakes. This one is a biggie because it represents you as a writer. Do you have a grasp on the craft? Can you get to the point? Have you heard of a comma? Queries reveal a lot about you as a writer. Make sure you shine.


• You come off as arrogant, clueless, or both. Yes, you want to show confidence. Of course you are proud of your book. But telling the agent that your manuscript is the next Twilight or whatever your genre’s superstar is makes you look terrible. And don’t announce that it’s recently finished – otherwise known as unedited.


• You don’t wait long enough. One thing you don’t want to do is annoy the agent. Don’t call five times to see if they got it. Don’t call them at all, actually. An email after a month is acceptable for follow up.

What are some things you should do?

• Write it in the voice of your book. Is your novel fast-paced? Then convey energy in your pitch. Show them that you pack a punch in your writing.


• Hit all three biggies: Who is it about? What is the conflict? What happens if they don’t stop it?


• Give the vitals: What is the word count? What is the genre? Give them specifics that will help them visualize who they’d pitch your book to.


• Mention you’ve gone social: Don’t refer them to your website to read more…they don’t do that. But do mention you feel comfortable using social media to promote your book. List a blog address or a Twitter account, but remember—those are NOT for the agent to go searching for information they need.


• Send the right format: Some agents have gone paperless and only accept email queries. Some only want the query as the body of the email and not as an attachment. Don’t knock yourself out of the running before you even start by not sending what they want.

With a little research and attention to detail, your query can catch the attention you deserve. Take the time to do it right and you’ll give yourself a fighting chance to snag that dream agent.

Raquel Byrnes lives in Southern, California with her husband of sixteen years and their six children. She considers inspirational fiction a wonderful way to minister to others. She writes romantic suspense with an edge-your-seat pace. Her first book the Shades of Hope Series, Purple Knot, releases on June 3rd from White Rose Publishing. You can visit her at her website: www.raquelbyrnes.com and her writing blog, Edge of Your Seat Romance.

[Doesn't she have a great face? I love her cheek bones, eyes, and the mischief playing under the elegance.]

And a little tart trivia... because I CAN... when I took Spanish in High School (and 8th grade) my Spanish teacher gave me the name Raquel (Raquel Corazón--Heart). She said it was because Raquels are smart. I thought it might also be because they are spicy.  Thanks so much Raquel!

Elizabeth S. Craig: On Sequels

Yibus know how I'm a goofy fan girl about Elizabeth, right? I started following her around like a stalker about the same time as I started blogging, and we've made great friends. She was the one who first suggested I should try my hand at Cozy Mystery (something that, until I met her, I hadn't known was a genre of its own). So she has been my go-to resource both for the Social Networking she has mastered [if there was a PhD offered in Social Networking, her picture would be on the seal] AND for the tricks and rules for writing mystery.

Well for today I selfishly begged her to share something with you that I REALLY wanted her to share with ME because I am trying to figure this out myself. I wrote a trilogy once, but I am just trying to get my first 'stand alone sequel' in order. But I figured I couldn't be the only one who wanted to know how!

So Elizabeth, WELCOME! I'm thrilled to have you here!

Tips for Writing a Sequel—by Elizabeth S. Craig

The idea of writing sequels used to make me freeze up a little. I didn’t want to bore the folks who read my first book, or confuse and frustrate new readers who didn’t know who my characters were or how they connected with each other. 

What was the right balance?

I’ve heard opinions both ways…that it’s better to leave off any real explanation of the characters and their motivations in the second book, and that it’s better to make sure not to leave readers confused. 

For me, though, I’ve decided it’s better to treat the second book as a standalone as opposed to treating it as a continuation. Here’s why:

It’s more likely that even most of my returning readers would need a refresher—especially considering how long it takes for a book to come out. The only reason this wouldn’t be the case is if someone bought book one and book two at the same time. 

I also decided, based on my own experience as a reader, that it’s worse to be confused than it is to be (very) briefly bored by a short explanation. As a reader, I wish I had the time and patience to figure out who characters are…but I just don’t. Instead, I’m likely to choose another book in my huge stack.

None of us really write a lot of backstory anyway—that’s kind of looked down on. So the second book wouldn’t have any more backstory than the first (naturally, even the first book has a a backstory—why is Jessica scared of commitment? Why won’t Mama go out and look for another job?)

So my conclusion was that I’d write the sequel almost like a standalone, but being especially cautious (even more than usual) about including too much backstory or over-describing my characters, knowing that returning readers would have even less-tolerance for backstory than first-time readers.

Series Backstory--what do you need to explain?

If you look at a paragraph or a couple of paragraphs and you can’t understand what’s going on just through the context of that paragraph…you need to add a smidgeon of explanation. Are the character’s actions confusing? Can you discern the foundation for the way this character relates to others? Do his reactions to people or events make sense for the reader? Is it absolutely necessary for the reader to know why the character is this way? Can they just accept that she is that way? 

Is it hard for you to look at the story and characters as a newcomer? Consider finding a first reader who hasn’t read your first book. They’ll be able to tell you if it’s confusing.

How do you do the explaining?

Briefly! Backstory is passive and readers want to be in the current story. What’s happening now? If your character is holding a grudge against another character, it’s a little less important what the original source of the grudge is…it’s more important that the character is holding one at all—he’s the type of person who doesn’t forgive and forget. What does that say about him? How is he holding this grudge—by not speaking to the other character? By gossiping about him? Does he have a more malicious way of expressing it? Bring the action into the present. 

I think that very short tags work too…the type of tags that keep a reader from even realizing there’s a little dumping there. Karen, Tom’s older, stricter sister, plodded into the room.

One way to include series backstory: Have some of the backstory be an unexplained, small mystery to entice readers to continue reading. Just hints. Your reveal of the backstory could happen much later in the book instead of the usual chapter one dump. That way, the source of the character’s avoidance of another character, or their reaction to a particular challenge is just a small question that readers will want to read on to have answered. Returning readers will recognize this backstory anyway and won’t wonder over it. When you finally reveal the backstory motivation/foundation, you need to keep it really brief for those returning readers. 

Other ways to reveal helpful series backstory (backstory that actually helps move the plot forward or helps readers understand, relate to, and emphasize with our protagonist): believable, unstilted dialogue, a character’s thoughts or memories (be careful here), or flashbacks (be really careful here). Otherwise, you could just figure out a way to bring your backstory into the present—work it into a current conflict with a character in your story, etc. 

Character descriptions and identifiers:

It’s helpful to find the descriptions in your first book and reword them. But it’s nice to also reveal one, additional small trait or feature of these characters for the returning readers so that they get some fresh, new information.

Avoid continuity errors in the sequel by maintaining a series bible.

My series bible helps me keep track of character ages, traits, habits, hobbies; setting details; and any details of recurring subplots. I know a couple of writers who keep track of these things on an Excel sheet, but I use Word.  I type out each character’s name, how old they are, where they live in the town, what they look like, where they’re originally from, etc.

How do you make your sequel interesting for returning readers as well as your newcomers?

Character development and subplots that are continued through the books. Your first time readers won’t realize the overall pattern or extent of the growth, but if it’s hinted at then they’ll want to find your first book to see how it all started. And your returning readers will love to see how the protagonist is steadily growing…whatever your storyline is. Is your protagonist someone who’s slowly stepping out of her shell over time? Learning magical powers (like Harry Potter?) Developing a romantic interest in a recurring secondary character? 

Make some elements different—This won’t matter to new readers, but returning readers will notice and appreciate the new situations, new settings, and the new characters and conflicts you introduce. 

Sequels and series are tricky, and I’d love to hear how you make yours work. Got any additional tips for writing a sequel or what you like to see when you read a sequel? And—thanks so much to Hart for hosting me today! I love visiting here. :)

Bio: Elizabeth’s latest book, Finger Lickin’ Dead , released June 7^th. Elizabeth writes the Memphis Barbeque series for Penguin/Berkley (as Riley Adams), the Southern Quilting mysteries (2012) for Penguin/NAL, and the Myrtle Clover series for Midnight Ink. She blogs daily at Mystery Writing is Murder, which was named by Writer’s Digest as one of the 101 Best Websites for Writers for 2010 and 2011.

Writer's Knowledge Base--the Search Engine for Writers

Twitter: @elizabethscraig

And for anyone wanting to see my Review of Finger Lickin' Dead, it's here! But if you want a spoiler... Her tricks WORK!

Guest Author Douglas Corleone's

Whereby I am double booked... so if you are here for the Laughter is the Best Medicine blogfest, you can look at last night's post... humor that is perfectly MOI...

But for TODAY, I am hosting Douglas Corleone... Douglas was here last summer when his last book, One Man's Paradise, was released and shared a little about creating a series MC. I am happy to congratulate Douglas and welcome him back today, where he's sharing a little about luck and publicity and what they can do for our confidence as a writer, so welcome Douglas!





What a Little Publicity Can Do for Your Book…and Your Confidence



I had an interesting weekend – the most interesting weekend since my first book was published in April of last year. That’s because I had my first real taste of publicity…and witnessed the resulting spike in book sales.



Saturday morning I had the great fortune of appearing on ABC affiliate KITV in Hawaii. I was interviewed during a three-minute segment on the morning news. The live on-air interview took place at 7:15 a.m., and as I answered questions, I wondered how many readers were actually awake and watching television at that time on a Saturday morning. Turns out, quite a few. At least enough that throughout the day, several people stopped me to ask, “Hey, aren’t you that lawyer-author I saw on the news today?”



Saturday afternoon I gave a one-hour presentation at the Hawaii Book & Music Festival in Honolulu. And whether it was me or my time-slot (I was up right after Roseanne Barr’s presentation in the auditorium), the Author’s Pavilion was packed with people for my reading and Q & A. It was easily my largest audience ever, and the hour just flew by. The presentation was followed by a book signing at the Barnes & Noble tent, which went equally as well.

And this morning I woke to find an excellent review of NIGHT ON FIRE in Hawaii’s only major newspaper, the Honolulu Star-Advertiser. In part, the review read, “Douglas Corleone's second look at the seedy side of life, lawyering and untimely death on Oahu in the 21st century…is a page-turner in the best sense of the word.” While NIGHT ON FIRE had received strong reviews in each of the major trades, this print review resulted in the single largest spike in Amazon sales I’ve seen in my first two years as a published author.



It’s difficult for most new authors to garner significant publicity. Most of us turn to quiet book-signings at chain stores, lengthy virtual book tours, and the occasional radio interview to promote our works. But once in a blue moon, we can get lucky…and that’s when we realize how well traditional publicity works.



This weekend boosted my confidence and gave me new hope for a long and successful career. The journey that began with my first book contract only now seems to be heading somewhere desirable, and I finally realize that, like any other journey, it requires patience, persistence, focus…and a hell of a lot of luck.







Thank you, Douglas! Both for visiting and the little shot of hope we all need!



Night on Fire is available at:

Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/Night-Fire-Douglas-Corleone/dp/0312552270/ref=tmm_hrd_title_0

And ONE MAN'S PARADISE: http://www.amazon.com/One-Mans-Paradise-Douglas-Corleone/dp/0312611587/ref=pd_sim_b_1



And here's my website:  www.douglascorleone.com

Product Description

Kevin Corvelli---a hotshot New York defense attorney who packed up his bags and hung his shingle in Hawaii to dodge the spotlight---is deep in his mai tais at a resort when an argument erupts down at the other end of the bar. It’s a pair of newlyweds, married that very day on the beach. And since Corvelli doesn’t do divorces, he all but dismisses the argument.



That’s at least until the fire breaks out later that night, and he barely escapes his hotel room. Most weren’t so lucky, including the new husband. His wife, Erin, becomes not only the police’s prime suspect for arson and murder but also Corvelli’s newest client, and she has a lot working against her, like motive and opportunity, not to mention a history of starting fires.



The heat gets turned all the way up in Douglas Corleone’s scorching legal thriller Night on Fire, his second following the MB/MWA's First Crime Novel Competition winner, One Man’s Paradise.

Guest Author Rebecca Carlton

Halo, fine friends! It's been a little while since I've had a guest, so just to remind you... if YOU have a book release or event coming up and would like to be a guest, I am thrilled to have regular readers, and open to other authors most of the time... my sidebar has a link to my policy...



And SPEAKING of book releases, Gae Polisner's Pull of Gravity comes out today! I got my notice Sunday mine had shipped (though I am beta reading for a friend and therefore didn't splurge on two day... probably will be Thursday before mine arrives... still SQUEEEEEEEE (Gae is my hero). BTW, Gae is one to watch on HOW TO for book promo... she has gotten articles in both the New York Times and Newsday (I know, right?)

And NOW, back to the present. Becky and I made friends through the Amazon connection. It all becomes murky as to 'where first' but we've chatted quite a lot on Facebook. Becky has self-published, and has noticed quite a lot of venom on the Amazon boards when authors try to promote themselves, and decided to conduct a little experiment to help you learn what can happen (Man, I love a deviant). I for one, WELCOME the heads up that comes with this, and the opportunity for all of us to learn a little about how people may respond (time to toughen our skins, I think—but also to realize there are no short cuts).



So without further ado, Welcome Becky! (look how young she is! *pinches Becky's cheek*)



*****



I’m thrilled to be a guest tart. If anyone is curious, I’d like to let everyone know that in attempt to prolong my life as a tart I have chosen to be a grape hard candy tart. They taste odd and most people don’t want to eat them. I thought you all might be interested in a little insight into the experience of an Indie author over on the Amazon.com forums. It would probably take three or more installments on Hart’s blog to let you guys in on all the fine details of what Indie authors should expect on those forums- screen shots and all. But out of respect of your time I’m going to make this as concise as possible and I’m going to use bullet points to do it!!



Two promo threads created in the forums yielded:



• 21 No-voters present [Tart note: Amazon gives viewers an option to vote 'yes' or 'no' on whether comments are helpful.]

• 9 Verbal attacks on either me or my writing

• 7 Reminders of TOS [Tart note: Terms of service]

• 5 Claims to lose readership simply by posting

• 5 Accusations of my thread being spam

• 4 Admittances of not minding promo threads

• 4 Twists of my words into presumptuous attacks on readers

• 3 Valid answers on why they wouldn’t buy my book

• 3 Displays of disapproval of my thread’s existence

• 3 Accusations of insulting readers

• 2 Claims of not being a real author

• 2 Non-constructive offers of posting advice

• 1 Constructive offer of posting advice

• 1 Add to their wish list

• 1 Download of my sample

• 1 Reminder of Community posting guidelines

• 1 Proclamation of informal TOS being violated (etiquette)





One attempt at joining an existing thread yielded:

 • 17 No-voters present

• 6 Verbal assaults towards me or my writing

• 3 References to TOS

• 2 Accusations of posting inappropriately

• 2 Accusations of attacking readers

• 2 Claims they would never read and/or buy one of my books simply for posting

• 2 Actions or statement provoking the others to attack me

• 2 Denials or defense of their actions

• 1 Non-constructive piece of advice on how to post



After I felt I had gathered enough information to provide a learning experience to other Indie Authors, I made a post outing my true intentions. This was my post after the OP inquired why they attacked me-

“Because I posted on the forums in a way they interpreted as a guise of self-promotion, which many other authors outright do or try to be clever about doing. I wanted to collect information on how many readers are on the forums during a given time by getting feedback on the content of my description so I could share the information with other authors. I had to provide a link to a book to get the type of responses I was looking for. The truth is, I simply wanted to evaluate which forums have users who attack Indie authors, and I got my answers. There are many readers on these forums who welcome Indie authors providing links to their books, and then there are some people such as those who have openly attacked me on this forum. Most of whom are the same as those who attacked me yesterday. Then they attempted to "school" me on THEIR guidelines of amazon forum ettiquite and told me to "jump into conversations" which is what I did today, and as you can see from the post directly below mine, in a manner of minutes, they attacked like a pack of rabid dogs.”

0 of 17 people think this post adds to the discussion.



Unfortunately for the pack, no amount of no-votes can get something that is not a violation of Amazon’s TOS deleted. Since so many of them yes-voted their own actions and are so proud of themselves they most likely will never delete their posts, their infantile behavior is there indefinitely for the education of newbie Indie Authors. A side note: oddly enough, not one of them took the opportunity to correct my spelling, grammatical or capitalization errors in that post to further invalidate me as a legitimate writer. Feel free to read between the lines on that comment.



Later that day I discovered some old and new threads for tagging and exchanging information with other Indie authors to expand Indie author networking. I did my best to join every tagging group, follow every twitter account and blogspot listed. Even though I’m sure there are a few authors in those threads that will throw their names onto the lists and not make the effort to return the favor, I’d prefer to operate on positive assumptions for now. A few other forum regulars have the negativity angle covered quite well.



Disclaimer** I’ve contacted Amazon for clarification and they do state that it is a violation of their Terms of Service for authors to create threads with the purpose of ‘shilling’-to advertise or promote. When I asked why so many authors are able to have thriving threads for such purposes and some are deleted immediately I was given a stock answer. Amazon claims that there are too many to keep up with and they rely on the community members (no-voters and abuse-reporters) to let them know where to concentrate their efforts. So that means that not enough people no-voted or clicked the abuse button to get every promo thread deleted, only yours! I'd also like to state that I appreciate all current readers and potential readers of my work. My intentions were to show other Indie authors how not to behave on the forums to advance all of our success rates on the forums. I am still a person who wishes to be treated with respect. I stand firm that despite the outright attacks taken towards me I never attacked a single person during these posts. When I asked for forwards of email notifications where I clearly attacked someone I received no responses.**



Biography:

Rebecca Carlton is an Indie Author from Richmond, VA. She is married with a daughter and a son. Her writing offers plots that are unique and at times sensitive in nature that send the characters through twists and dives down unexpected paths. She appreciates developing characters that are “real people” who dare to say what’s on their mind and steal your heart at the same time. With every book she strives to make an offering that multiple age groups can benefit and learn from.

Book Blurb:

Geric is lured by Dalis to a remote island to practice medicine until his license is reinstated. Upon arrival, Dalis reveals that Geric must erase memories and personal identities from abducted women or face his own demise. While Geric bides his time until an opportunity arises to escape, he is presented with a patient that is resistant to treatment but manages to catch Dalis’ eye. Livia’s life is spared with the mindset that her immunity is the key to developing an alternate therapy for other resistant women. She serves as Geric’s medical assistant while enduring the aggressive advances of Dalis. The stress of their living conditions proves to be too difficult when the consequence of their reckless behavior triggers a deadline to escape. A deadline that will expose their transgressions…and cost them their lives.



*****



I loved this little experiment, by the way... and DO find it interesting some authors are attacked right away, and others 'get away with it' (guess those 'terms of service' reminder guys are actually trying to be helpful?) But absolutely... no substitute for real life networking. I'm with you there!

Robin Cain: NAKED!

So there is nothing better I like than getting naked, yes? And I ADORE a guest who has done her homework (not to mention one who writes in one of my genres and seems to have a VERY exciting book!), so I am THRILLED today.



I need to give a shout first though, today is the FOR REALS book release for Alex Cavanaugh and CassaStar! I can't imagine I have any readers who don't already know Alex, because he has this blog thing worked to an art form, but today is REALLY the first day you can get his book and don't you want to be his first?





Okay, now back to our regularly scheduled blog.



You remember a while ago I posted (nearly snarky) 'if you want to blog here' rules? My REASON is that I love all of YOU and want people who guest post to be writing for YOU instead of just generically promoting... Robin is a SUPERSTAR... she totally took me seriously, even though I am only a little scary, and she has guest posted EXACTLY for you.

Robin Cain lives in Scottsdale, Arizona with her husband, daughter, three dogs, three horses and donkey. As a novelist and regular contributing writer for an online publication, she spends her days searching for the perfect words to amuse, enlighten and touch her readers. By reading her work, you’ve not only helped make her dreams come true, but others as well.



Welcome Robin!



Naked, nakeder, nakedest?



When offered a guest post on this blog, I have to admit I stumbled a little bit. It’s not easy to get noticed when standing next to someone who has a witty sense of humor and unique writing style, but I’ve found the only way to learn from someone is to emulate their habits for a bit, see how it feels and just see what new ideas come through by osmosis. So now….





I AM NAKED!  (Tart note: warms my heart!)





Sure, you laugh and roll your eyes (what lengths will an author go to get noticed?!?), but I figured there must be something to this. I mean, freeing oneself from restrictions, constrictions, confines or that little-too-tight waistband can’t hurt, right?



Writing isn’t always easy – even on the best day – so why not? We writers get in the habit of our little spaces, our just-so work places, our special pens, and our certain weighted paper. Why not shake it up a bit? Maybe our stories, our characters, our plots could use a little diversion – if not a little laughter (I don’t know about you, but my nakedness isn’t going to warrant a call from a modeling agency any time soon). Maybe freeing ourselves from the ‘normal’ is just what we, oft-stumped writers, need.

Like any ‘routine’, the act of writing can get stagnant.



Ever read an author whose books have become formulaic? Or an author whose endings always seem to be ‘happily ever after’? How about one who can’t seem to get past the overuse of exclamation points or the monotonous boring sex scenes? Dull, duller and DULLEST! Maybe if authors stripped themselves of everything extraneous, they, too, could find something a little out of their typically comfortable box.



My point – and not that one session of nakedness has made me a scholar – is that for an author to stand out, to be noticed, in this ever-expanding crowd of authors, we have to push the edges, maybe go for the not-to-tried and true. We need to stretch ourselves and our writing minds. Readers want to be entertained – not be given the same old story, hashed and re-hashed. Characters who come alive, who speak to them by doing a little something different than what they themselves would do is what every book buyer craves.



You say you can’t seem to get there today? Plot line got you a little bogged down? Your writing brain is a little foggy? You know, Albert Einstein would define that as insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.



I’m sitting here naked and, 15 minutes and 432 words later, I’ve had an epiphany. Just imagine what altering your writing routine might just do for you…



@ 2010 Robin Cain

Robin Cain lives in Scottsdale, Arizona with her husband, daughter, three dogs, three horses and donkey. As a novelist and regular contributing writer for The Examiner, she spends her days searching for the perfect words to amuse, enlighten and touch her readers. By reading her work, you’ve not only helped make her dreams come true, but other’s dreams as well.

A percentage of the proceeds of her book, WHEN DREAMS BLEED, will be donated to the American non-profit organization To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA), which aims to present hope and find help for people struggling with problems such as depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.



To learn more about Robin or read an excerpt from her book, please visit her website: http://www.robincain.com/



BOOK BLURB:

A software genius with a knack for business, Frank Campelletti’s been living the dream his whole life. He’s amassed money, success, and is now accumulating women, but someone out there thinks he’s gone too far.



Who is seeking revenge and why? His wife? His mistress? Or the shadow who’s been following his every move?



Just when he thinks he has anticipated his opponent’s next move a tragic car accident leaves him paralyzed, his life’s work is being stolen and his wife has disappeared. Just how far will someone go to teach him the correlation between deception and despair?



WHEN DREAMS BLEED examines temptation and the ensuing consequences in a contemporary world. It’s no secret that dreams come at a price, but what happens WHEN DREAMS BLEED?

Virtual Tour with Cherish D'Angelo

Hello my friends! I have another fabulous guest today, here to help YOU learn how to do this thing when you get there, but first I have a couple other business items:



First: I made a GOOF on my song author yesterday, you see FOO and GOO are so similar. I had the Foo Fighters but really Slide is a Goo Goo Dolls song. My bad... sorry.



Next: My insanity is on full display at Burrowers, Books and Balderdash interviewing the fantabulous Sketchie Scattergood about the founding of Planet Spankmenow. So after you read THIS, please pop over and read THAT!



And last:  22 years ago today I met Mr. Tart, but he's being Mr. Chupacabra at the moment, so we aren't going to talk about that.





Now, on to today's guest. Cherish is an award-winner with her spicy romance, not surprising since as her OTHER name, she is a best-selling suspense writer, and she's got some great hints for all of us today, so without further ado, welcome Cherish!

Biography of Cherish D'Angelo



When romance author Cherish D'Angelo is not busy relaxing in her hot tub, sipping champagne, eating chocolate-covered strawberries or plotting romantic suspense with scintillating sensuality, she is ruthlessly killing people off in her thrillers as bestselling Canadian suspense author, Cheryl Kaye Tardif.



Cherish's debut romance, Lancelot's Lady placed in the semi-finals of Dorchester Publishing's "Next Best Celler" contest and went on to win an Editor's Choice Award from Textnovel. Currently living in Edmonton, Alberta, she enjoys long walks on the beach, except there aren't any around so she has to make do with trips around the hot tub or a vacation to a tropical paradise. And margaritas.



Book Blurb:  

A Bahamas holiday from dying billionaire JT Lance, a man with a dark secret, leads palliative nurse Rhianna McLeod to Jonathan, a man with his own troubled past, and Rhianna finds herself drawn to the handsome recluse, while unbeknownst to her, someone with a horrific plan is hunting her down.

When palliative care nurse Rhianna McLeod is given a gift of a dream holiday to the Bahamas from her dying patient, billionaire JT Lance, Rhianna has no idea that her 'holiday' will include being stranded on a private island with Jonathan, an irritating but irresistibly handsome recluse. Or that she'll fall head over heels for the man.

Jonathan isn't happy to discover a drop-dead gorgeous redhead has invaded his island. But his anger soon turns to attraction. After one failed marriage, he has guarded his heart, but Rhianna's sudden appearance makes him yearn to throw caution to the wind.

To live fully in the present, Rhianna must resolve her own murky past, unravel the secret that haunts JT, foil the plans of a sleazy, blackmailing private investigator and help Jonathan find his muse. Only then can Rhianna find the love she's been searching for, and finally become...Lancelot's Lady.

How to Organize a Virtual Book Tour (VBT) - Part 2



Organizing a virtual book tour (VBT) may seem intimidating, but I assure you that once you do one, you'll discover it's not very hard. It just takes time and good organization. Read Part 1 (link is on my VBT page) before proceeding to the next steps.



Part 2:

Confirm hosts’ dates, topics and ask them to post the night before. This way you are not waiting all morning for them to post your content. Let them know you’ll send them the information 3-5 days before their date. If you send it too early they may lose, misfile or delete it, unless you ask them to schedule it early.



Write interesting blog posts that provide entertainment or educational value to visitors. What will you submit? Each blog or site will usually feature one or a combination of the following: a book cover, a summary or synopsis, an interview, book review, an article that fits the site’s theme, a short story, an excerpt, a contest, an audio-cast or a book trailer video. Posts should not be all promo unless that's what the site/blog is all about.



Advertise your VBT via online and media press releases. It is a great investment, since it’s no good doing a virtual book tour if no one knows about it. One leading press release distribution service that I use almost exclusively is 24-7PressRelease.com 24-7pressrelease.com, where you can pay from $10.00 to $299.00, depending on your distribution requirements. However, I can attest to the fact that a $45.00 release is the minimum you’ll want and its effectiveness is worth it. Other online services include PR web and Web Wire, and don’t forget to send releases to the free services too, like Clickpress.com and Free-Press.com Press releases can be extremely beneficial if written correctly and distributed extensively to the right audience, and this means submitting them to your local media (newspapers, TV, radio) as well.



Publicize your virtual book tour and other events on social networks and Booktour.com, a free site that connects authors to readers by listing author events and making it easy for readers to set up reminders and track their favorite authors. Send out invites via Facebook, Myspace, Goodreads and more.



Promote your VBT on all your websites and blogs on an events page. Put up a schedule with your hosts’ home page URL. You can post the full schedule in advance of the tour, or post a weekly schedule prior to each new week.



You can read Part 3 by visiting Criminal Minds at Work on October 2nd.



Thank you to everyone for dropping by this blog and visiting me on my Cherish the Romance Virtual Book Tour. Lancelot's Lady is available in ebook edition at Kobo Books, Amazon Kindle Store, Smashwords and other ebook retailers. Help me celebrate by picking up a copy today and "Cherish the romance..."



Lancelot's Lady ~ A Bahamas holiday from dying billionaire JT Lance, a man with a dark secret, leads palliative nurse Rhianna McLeod to Jonathan, a man with his own troubled past, and Rhianna finds herself drawn to the handsome recluse, while unbeknownst to her, someone with a horrific plan is hunting her down.



You can learn more about Lancelot's Lady and Cherish D'Angelo (aka Cheryl Kaye Tardif) at http://www.cherishdangelo.com and http://www.cherylktardif.blogspot.com.



Prizes & Giveaways: Follow Cherish from September 27 to October 10 on her Cherish the Romance Virtual Book Tour and win prizes.



Leave a comment here, with email address, to be entered into the prize draws. You're guaranteed to receive at least 1 free ebook just for doing so. Plus you'll be entered to win a Kobo ereader. Winners will be announced after October 10th.



Readers: what do you like about virtual book tours?

Merideth Cagen and a Giveaway!

Halo lovely bloggy readers! I have a lovely guest today with a self-exploration journey filled with humor and unmasked misconceptions—sounds like the kind of Chick-lit I can really get my teeth into. We ALSO have a GIVEAWAY today. BK Walker Books has authorized me to ALSO give a $10 Amazon Gift Certificate away today! My rules!



So in the spirit of the book: In the comments, leave a life changing moment of broken misconception YOU'VE experienced. If you Tweet or share on facebook, I will double your chances. The contest is open ALL week.



Now, back to Merideth... Welcome to Confessions of a Watery Tart! Take it away!



*****

Author's Bio: Meredith Cagen is a working wife and mother living in New York City. She works as a freelance writer and registered nurse. Her family has awarded her the “Queen of the Multi-taskers” title. In her free time she goes to the gym and out to eat.



Meredith returned to school to obtain a Bachelors of Science in Nursing. Finding the subject dry, technical and boring, she had a difficult time focusing on her studies. Easily distracted, and prone to daydreaming, she wrote Size Eight in a Size Zero World.

Synopsis: Meet Lindsay Chandler--a 32 year-old New York City working wife and mother with old-fashioned values who thinks she's living a fairy tale life (she's not). She's too busy navigating between her job, husband, home, children, friends and other obligations to acknowledge her loneliness. Then an unexpected friendship with her upstairs neighbor (he is smart, successful,

sophisticated and sexy-- she's not) unleashes her passion and re-ignites her sparkle.



This liaison causes her to realize what she is missing. Yearning for a storybook ending, she decides to make changes in her life, embarking on a quest for self re-invention in this hilarious, witty, heart felt story.



In the tradition of Sex and the City, Size Eight in a Size Zero World, is a modern-day story of a good girl trying to do the right thing and the wrong thing simultaneously, while remaining true to herself, whoever that is.



With the help of a believable cast of characters, Lindsay embarks on a plan to better herself and plight. This novel is a wickedly funny social commentary on the lives of average women in New York City's posh Upper East Side.



What happens when the road to happily ever after takes an unexpected detour?

Reviews



This book is everything Sex and the City 2 should have been -- smart and witty with a lot of heart! I've already bought a bunch of copies for so many friend who could relate to Lindsay.



This is Meredith Cagen's debut novel and I hope she writes more. A LOT more!



As soon as I read the first page, I knew I would love this book! Size Eight in a Size Zero World: A Novel by Meredith Cagen is written in a voice that resonated with me. The author's smart, witty style moves along at a good pace and it kept me turning the pages. I could relate to the conflicted heroine and I kept hoping she would wake up and smell the coffee.



Lindsay Chandler is thirty-two, a working wife and mother, who lives in New York with her family. In the highfalutin' Manhattan society, she's an oddity, a woman who has a real day job, does not have a nanny and does her own cooking and cleaning. Lindsay's life looks perfect on the outside, but she's miserable on the inside. Her husband Grant, a divorce attorney, treats her like a servant, ignores their two kids and is an overbearing jerk.



One day Lindsay gets into the elevator of her building and meets a man who gives her goose bumps. They strike up a friendship. He appreciates her, asks her for advice and befriends her kids. Lindsay falls hard. She loves the way they interact; he seems to accept her, perceived flaws and all. The more she sees him the more she realizes all that she's missing in her marriage. She questions her life with Grant and decides to reinvent herself and make some changes. It all leads to a satisfying conclusion.



A wonderfully witty social commentary on the New York scene, this is also an endearing story of relationships, love and infidelity. The characters are believable and many women will be able to see themselves in Lindsay. Sometimes I wanted to scream at her and sometimes I wanted to cheer her on, but always she kept me reading. I highly recommend it.

Numbers Don’t Lie



Math was my favorite subject in school. Numbers don’t lie. An answer is right or wrong. 4+4 =8, never 0, never 9. There is no subjectivity: right or wrong, black or white, yes or no, it is a binary response. Math is exact, there is no room for ambiguity or opinion. Interpretation is unnecessary. The beauty lies in its’ simplicity. You can trust numbers.



Time is based and calibrated with numbers. Like math, it is exact. It is either 8:01 AM or it is not. Precision.



Sports are based on numbers. Competitive sports like running, swimming, skiing, cycling, you want to achieve the lowest winning time, which is written in numbers. High numbers are bad, low numbers are good.



Team sports like basketball, baseball, soccer, football, you want the highest winning point totals. High numbers are good and low numbers are bad.



Therefore in sports you can want high numbers or low numbers depending on the game. This forces us to pay attention to the sport and the rules. What happens to the numbers without rules.



Size like math, time and sports is all about numbers. Big is not aways better. You want the size large if you are referring to the size of your bank account and the size of your heart. You want a small size when discussing clothing or small sized amount of the LDL (bad) Cholesterol in your blood.



Men want to have large sized hands and feet. They brag about the size of their package and of being 6 feet tall. But they don’t want to have large sized bodies.



Women want a big breast size, and a small dress size. A 34C bra size is considered average but it is large in society circles and small in the entertainment industry.



My faith in numbers is getting shaky. Numbers are to be trusted, yet additional information is required to understand the numbers correctly in certain size situations.



Models are sized small. During Fashion Week the question was asked, “Is Size 4 Fat?” by the New York Daily News. A Size 4 model (now unemployed) was not permitted to walk the runway, because she was deemed fat. Size 4 is way below the size of the average American woman who wears a Size 14. Were the other models Size 0?



Curves seem to push the size number, thus super sizing it. Jessica Simpson proudly announces that she wears a “Size 4.” The media refers to her as a “Fat Size 4.” They question the number. The number 4 is the same, but the point of view differs. Jessica may be a super size 4, where the model was only an average size 4. Does the adverb qualify and redefine the size?



Frankly, I think any Size 4 is too small, but I am a Size 8.



Can we have a fat 110 lbs and a thin 110 lbs. Isn’t it the same number, but additional information as to frame size may qualify the point of view. Size again, maybe size numbers aren’t measured uniformly and dispassionately. The numbers in sizes aren’t telling the truth, because subjectivity is introduced.

Personally I find the idea of Size Zero perplexing. Why would women want to be a Size Zero?



Instead, these ladies who don’t lunch or munch, should continue to shop in the Girls Department where the sizes are 7 – 14. At the very least they can claim to have a size instead of being a 0. Realistically and metaphorically, who wants to be a 0?



Do men want a Size Zero woman to love? Zero fat? Zero curves? Zero shapeliness? People play games in the war between the sexes. How do they keep score? Is scoring having sex or is being the first one to admit love for the other person keeping score? Confusion, because in sports love means zero.



Title: Size Eight in a Size Zero World

Author: Meredith Cagen

Genre: Women Contemporary Fiction/ ChickLit/NYC ChickLit

ISBN: 978 1440169748

Copyright: 2009

Website:

http://www.meredithcagen.com

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Size-Eight-Zero-World/dp/1440169748/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1283630067&sr=1-1



www.sizezeroworld.com

mcagen@gmail.com

Guest Author Wayne Farquhar

Today's guest writes in a genre I try to READ a fair amount of because it is probably my weak spot in my mystery writing. The actual CRIME solving (not the mystery solving, but the professional investigator, dark underbelly angle), but I am feeling humbled at present, as I see Wayne comes by his knowledge honestly. He's BEEN THERE (did you hear the cry in my voice?) Seriously though, I am impressed with his background and humbled by his experience.



So without further ado, let me introduce Wayne! Welcome, Wayne!

Bio: Wayne Farquhar is a 28-year veteran working with the San Jose Police Department in California. He has worked through the ranks from officer to lieutenant with detective assignments in Sexual Assaults, Homicide and Internal Affairs. He has also worked undercover assignments in Child Exploitation, Child Pornography and Vice. He spent 10 years as a street cop and hostage negotiator. Wayne has worked on Federal Task Forces with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) and the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI). He has appeared on national television, /America’s Most Wanted/ on a murder investigation. BLOOD OVER BADGE is his first effort in crime-thriller fiction, and he hopes to write more books and speak to larger audiences about his experiences in law enforcement. Wayne lives with his family in the San Francisco Bay Area.



If you would like to formally invite Wayne to speak about BLOOD OVER BADGE or law enforcement to your organization, association, conference or expo, please send an email to info@bloodoverbadge.com.





Title: Blood over Badge

Genre: Crime fiction

Publisher: 3 L Pulishers

Synopsis:



TWO SEEMINGLY UNRELATED CRIMES –

TWO SEEMINGLY UNRELATED KILLERS –

AND TWO MYSTERIES WAITING TO BE SOLVED …



The murder of the Mayor of San Francisco’s daughter sets the stage for this intriguing and spellbinding crime thriller. Two police detectives, Jack Paige and Casey Ford are assigned to catch a cold-blooded rapist and killer. In this gritty, realistic tale of homicide, unrelated mysteries of two murderers seem to come together and make little sense. What does a man rotting away behind the stench-enclosed walls of Angola Penitentiary have to do with an evil and cruel rapist and killer now on the run from California to Texas? What is the relationship to the killing of the Mayor’s daughter? BLOOD OVER BADGE, an intense, taunt and brilliantly told crime thriller, takes readers on a realistic, gritty and real-world tour de force exploring the underbelly of police and detective work.



Press Release: http://www.prlog.org/10876035



Website: www.bloodoverbadge.com

Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/Blood-Over-Badge-Wayne-Farquhar/dp/0615359116/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1282508561&sr=1-1







I’ve asked myself “what’s the difference between me and my non-writer friends?” I mean, aside from the obvious … The answer came to me while I watched my 11 year old son play. He crashed space ships with huge drama. I listened while he made up voices and the sounds of destruction. I realized, he imagined everything necessary for a great book. His story: Star Wars Lego’s battle. His characters: Fighter pilots and ground-troop leaders barking orders (Dialogue) to storm troopers. Conflict: the battle. Plot: the battle. The light bulb went off in my head. Hey! I’m the goofy adult that still imagines like a child!



As children, it was natural for us to play and imagine. We did it every single day. It didn’t much matter if it was a doll or Army men. We used our imaginations and created stories and events. We had voices for our characters and some were heroic while others were not. Some characters were good and others evil. Each one had a specific role and place in our heart.



When it comes to writing, my characters are real in my mind. They have personalities, feeling, thoughts, relationships, history, quirks, hang-ups, problems, likes, dislikes, secrets: I could go on forever. I try to have 20/20 when I write a scene. I see it, smell it, feel it and taste it. It’s definitely not magical nor do I see myself as “gifted.” It’s practice! We grow up and the pressures of life drills down. We need to survive so we find work, build careers and relationships. Some of us start families and all of us get caught up in the many events that impact our daily lives. At the end of the day, we’re exhausted and we didn’t make much time for imagination. Days last forever and years fly by, right? Soon enough, we lose the art to imagine because we stopped practicing.



I understand why playing is exhausting for children. It’s the same reason writers are exhausted at the end of a writing day. It takes work and a conscious effort to be creative and stretch our imaginations. It doesn’t matter if we’re writing a book or crashing Star Wars Lego’s. We’re using our imaginations to create another world. And that alone, is my favorite aspect of writing. I get to create the entire world and all the players. Sound familiar?



I encourage you to practice using your imagination. It’s much easier if you enjoy writing. Give it a shot: it’s a lot of fun!

Tart's Guesting PolicyTart's Guesting Policy

Think you may want to be a Guest Tart?



You may have noticed I have guests now and again. If you HAVE noticed, you probably are not going to have any problem qualifying if you'd like to BE a guest. If this is new information... you probably want to read carefully.





Who Is Invited to Guest



1)  If you are a regular reader AND I KNOW IT, meaning you are a follower and comment now and again...



AND



2)  You have an event or milestone coming up (i.e. Book release, short story release, BIG contest, Naked Celebration of any sort, especially if you agree to promote the Naked World Domination movement)



Then I am HAPPY to work out a time for you to guest.





If you are NOT a regular reader, there are several guidelines. [note, if you read regularly and I DON'T know, MAKE SOME NOISE! I am a trusting sort and will believe you unless you are a butt kisser, then I get skeptical—but a little evidence of why you read would convince me] But if you are NOT yet a regular reader, you need to:





a) Read several posts with comments to get a feel for who I am and who likes to hang out with me. You may or may not think this is even where you want to be. I AM a bit wacky.



b) Write in a genre I read (if this is book or short story related)... I just can't get excited about things that are too 'sweet' unless you are already a friend of mine... (I can get excited about most anything if I know the author well enough to like them) I don't normally, though, host romance or erotica EXCEPT for friends (either of those that ALSO have thriller, noir, mystery... okay... just not straight—I just don't buy the concept of a man answering anything all on his own). I don't host religious undertones unless they are about the DANGERS of not thinking for yourself—I don't mean to offend—it just isn't me, and any readers who are into it would have been scared off by my man-butt mania. This probably isn't the place to find children's literature readers (since we're all naked and all).



I am much more interested in dark stuff... Thriller, suspense, mystery, Dystopia, YA on the dark side, Fantasy on the dark side...



If it is an EVENT and I don't know you... better be pretty darned epic. Or YOU better be marginally famous (like in my blogroll or with bestsellers)



c) THINK about what you might have MY readers might connect with. The are FABULOUS, but they read me because they either WRITE or find me AMUSING. You might connect at a writing level (or with great info for writers), or because you are amusing. Are you? Can you connect on one of those levels? Blogging is an acquired skill—most can do it, but if you haven't committed to your OWN blog and networking (in a way that builds your own readership) chances are you need to take this question very seriously.





Sidenote:



If you want to be REVIEWED, PROBABLY you are out of luck. I am just too darned busy. But if you've been a long time follower... if we've established a bond, whether through the blog exchanges, email, facebook... and you are willing to send me a free copy (because I live in poverty), AND I HAVE TIME, I've been known to make exceptions. I will be honest in my evaluation though. My readers wouldn't trust me otherwise.





WHAT I WANT



If you qualify, one way or the other, what I look for in guest authors is:



brief bio and author photo

book blurb and cover art

your blog written for MY readers (not something recycled from elsewhere)--this is why it helps so much to have followed—you already know what they like.



(all sent to me 48 hours (at least) before we go live)





If that all sounds copacetic, then email me at hartjohnson23 (at) gmail (dot) com with 'Guest Blog?' in the header.  It is best if you are scheduling at least a month ahead.  Sometimes I have nearer dates, sometimes I don't.

Tart Welcomes Wench! (Liz Crowe)

My guest today is one who wears many hats (though only some of them require literal hats)--she sells real estate, she is part owner in a microbrewery (Beer Wench), and... as you may expect... she writes.



Tarts have an affinity for wenches, sluts, and assorted ne'er-do-wells, as well as other tarts, but this is sort of a funny story. Because you see, this particular wench and I know each other in person... like from before we knew the other wrote (from a time wenches and tarts kept their super secret identities super secret). Our daughters are friends (Tartlet one being the same age as Wenchling 2) and so we met when the girls started middle school—four years ago (I had only a half done book at the time). I think it was my daughter who told me almost two years later that Liz wrote, and that first conversation was very tentative... she wasn't quite out of the closet yet, I think—so I just tried to leave the door cracked and left it at that.



More than a year after that we talked again and she had 'found her genre' if you will... erotica... I smiled and felt like a poser, because a tart OUGHT to be expert in things like that, but my tartiness is... you know... on the silly side. She is a REAL LIVE WENCH!



It is very fun to have another local author—one I actually enjoy (as opposed to the psycho, who is the only OTHER author I knew before BEING one—though I have MET a couple authors since getting out there, yet I digress...). Anyway, Liz has been working on a book come trilogy *cough*, but in the mean time has taken on another sexy project that puts her naughty romance smack in the middle of the microbrew world (YAY!) and I've read some of it—spicy stuff! Liz has made me a convert on erotica. I confess I used to snub my nose, as I'd seen so much that was poorly written, but hers is the real deal. In an email convo with a male author friend who shall remain nameless, he confessed to not being able to get up from his desk after reading one of her excerpts, and if you can turn on a GUY without visual boobage... THAT is how REAL it is. And so Friday, Breathless Press released a short story from The Rookie! And Liz is here to tell us a little about that, and about some OTHER stuff you need to know!



And NOW, Welcome, Liz!





The Art of Selling Beer and Sex





Greetings and salutations Oh Mighty Watery Tart Followers, Fans and Others!

Liz Crowe here a.k.a. The Beer Wench. (www.a2beerwench.com) a.k.a. That Other Wench (www.aabedwench.blogspot.com), friend and huge fan of The Tart and her errant and nearly as naughty as mine ramblings.



Tart and I have a few things in common:

To wit:

We have a house full of annoying humans of the teenage variety.

We write around our day jobs.

We love beer.

We like images of gorgeous men in various stages of undress (we can get into that bit whereby I prefer them dressed in suits FIRST then I undress them later, only to wrestle them into soccer unis before having my way….) [Tart note: you know I am a nudist purist, unless they are willing to dance like I like]



We attempt to balance the many and myriad responsibilities of household, said teenaged annoyances, jobs that pay (well, sort of, in my case as you will soon see) and our One Big Passion – The Writing.



Oh, and we live within shouting distance, which is cool.



I’m a salesperson. I’ve sold art, memberships, warm fuzzy feelings (vis a vis United Way donations), nursing home beds, newspaper advertising, houses and now, beer.

My current iteration is owner of The Wolverine State Brewing Company, a new-ish craft microbrewery right here in our beloved A-squared. I embarked upon this admittedly crazy adventure nearly 2 years ago when one of The Boys (start following The Beer Wench and you’ll know what I’m talking about!) approached me during a serious lull in the real estate market about putting my considerable powers of persuasion and organization (ha!) to work for him and his co-founder. You know, for free. Or for “ownership”,--i.e. For Free.

So I did, and jumped into the swirling vat of cooking malt with both feet. I’ve since become an expert, thanks to The Man, The Brewer and The Brain, on bloody ANYTHING and EVERYTHING relative to beer: from malt grinding to packaging to the highly annoying (don’t get me started) method of selling known as the “three tier system” whereby the dudes in the middle make all the money and we do all the work. (ahem).



Long about the middle of this a muse, looking suspiciously like Don Draper and speaking soothingly in my ear in a melodious Clive Owen brogue ambled into my life and plopped me in front of the computer screen, commanding me to use my near constant interaction with the Men in my Life (and beer is full of men let me tell you) to finally get those hot sex scenes in my head out on to the page, or you know, the screen.



I’ve long been a fan of erotic fiction. I’ve tried it all, from the freebie “Hey watch me fu*k my neighbor in her pool” sort of first person ramblings to the (in my pretty well researched opinion) the lovely and layered complexities of Sunny’s fictional women dominate the world fantasies to the smoking hot threesomes Cat Grant and Shayla Black have, um, laid out for us. I am also a huge fan of the short form hot story. That’s how mine started.



“Brewing Passion” is a series published by Breathless Press (www.breathlesspress.com), that is a long and complex story, told in short form (quickies, as it were). “The Rookie” is the first of three that are written and in some stage of editing/polishing/throwing against the wall—you people are writers so I know you get me here. These three are (so far) the “missing chapters” of The Tap Room—a serialized novel on That Other Wench’s site (see above, I don’t have time to write it out again). It’s hot. It’s women in the beer biz and the men who desire them. As one of my Biggest Fans and a Sort of Big Deal in the Craft Beer Business who Shall Remain Nameless said: “I’ve been in the business 20 years, worked in it from all angles, but YOU Wench have created something entirely new….Beer Porn”!



I of course smacked him and made him say it correctly: Beer Erotica….Beerotica? Perhaps. (He likes it when I do that, but they all do). [Tart note:  Beerotica!  HA!  You know how I love a new word!]



There will be a secondary series about realtors soon…I love folks who work hard for a living and fit the sex in when and where they can. I’ve been told (including by our Beloved Tart and by my cherished editor) that my scenes will melt your eyeballs and send you running for the nearest cold shower or your favorite B.O.B. but I will admit I have a lot to learn still. [Tart note:  it's true, and as I said, I started a skeptic]  So the virtual stack of erotic fiction by my bedside grows (I finally broke down and bought one of those reader thingies), the research continues. Good rule of thumb for erotic fiction: The earlier the break for “personal time”, ah, comes, the BETTER. Also, those “breaks” should be somewhat frequent if the story is, erm, lengthy. And don’t think you get immune to a fully, um, fleshed out sex scene. Yeah, there are only so many words to use and frankly, only one happy ending but oh the ways you can describe it could, well, fill a book.



Drink up! Enjoy! Thanks for listening and reading.

Blurb: [this and excerpt rated PG, no worries... still steamy]



Lisa loves her job in the male-dominated beer sales industry and has built a reputation as one of the best. But she dreads the "ride along" days when beer companies sends their least experienced representatives to see how she operates—until her one bad day turns into something more with The Rookie.



Undercover for his own brewery, Trent has heard of Lisa's prestigious sales prominence and sets out to see for himself—to show Lisa what he is capable of—in business and pleasure. Their attraction leads them to an amazing encounter in the most unlikely place, but will Lisa accept Trent's true identity once it's revealed? Or will she finally surrender and reach out for the unexpected?



Excerpt:



She was the pro here. He was the annoying sales rep rookie. Time to start taking her role and showing him his.



When the passenger door opened, she pressed her lips together and flipped the visor back in place. As Trent eased himself back into her car, she resolved to ignore his intense sexual energy and concentrate on work. They were behind by at least half a day for most of her domestic accounts, although he had more than made up for her Michigan beer sales goals in just one morning. She smiled with renewed composure and looked over at him.



As she opened her mouth to tell him about the brilliant new schedule she had just devised, Trent grasped the back of her neck and pulled her lips to his. He eased her lips open with his tongue.



Lisa closed her eyes and gave into the incredible sensation of sharing a kiss, not merely receiving one. His touch was firm—no wasted energy or sloppiness. She moaned and closed her eyes, giving into the need that had been pulsing through her all day long—since she'd first laid eyes on him.



His large callused hands cradled her face as he increased the pressure of his lips. Her hands gripped tighter around the steering wheel as if letting go would imply losing control. When he pulled away, Lisa resisted the urge to whimper and beg him to kiss her again.



"Look at me, Lisa," he demanded. She opened her eyes and met his stare. "I’m not done with you yet."





Page:

http://www.breathlesspress.com/erotic/the-rookie.html

Facbook: TheBeer Wench

Twitter: beerwencha2





[Tart note:  If you want something a little more... mature, head on over to the Bed Wench link above--there is some great stuff!]



And Thank you my Wenchie friend!

 

Guest Blogging: as philosophy

So this is the first Tuesday in a VERY long time that I haven't had a guest blogger. I thought maybe it was a good time to impart to you my infinite wisdom from five months hosting... a little perspective of what you should KNOW as a host, and what might be helpful to keep in mind as a guest. So how's THAT?

A Host Should Know



Her SCHEDULE!!!! I hear you laughing. I've had a few SNAFUs on my schedule... sometimes my fault, sometimes my guest's fault, sometimes a near miss communication thing. My side bar helps... I can see who is coming, but here's a secret. YOU HAVE TO LOOK. It is my same problem with schedules all around. Take my word for it, though. If you are going to have guests regularly, it is best to know when yo are expecting them.



Her Guests: I've had guests I know pretty darned well and guests that were only here because of my involvement with the Virtual Blog Tour that began with Authors Promoting Authors and transferred to BK Marketing. Now I believe in what BK Marketing it DOING—completely--they are helping authors find appropriate blogs to guest at. I have definitely noticed though, that sometimes you guys connect, and sometimes you don't... the AUTHOR has to CONNECT because I don't know them well enough to make the connection.

The authors I KNOW on the other hand, I can introduce well. If I've read the book I can tell you a little about it. By far, my two most successful guests have been Elizabeth Spann Craig and Harry Dolan—in Elizabeth's case, she is part of this circuit, had GREAT information, and I had a really easy time introducing her and being sincerely enthusiastic. In Harry's case, he is a best seller, and I was over the moon about his book.



But even without having read the book, if I KNOW YOU, I can talk about your blog, about you, about your magic or personality... It is far easier for me to convince my readers that there is a reason to keep going.





What a GUEST Should Know



WHERE YOU'RE GOING!!! If you are going to be a guest somewhere, you should visit the blog at least a few times, but IDEALLY often enough that you get a feel for the readership.



I may be a Naked Tart to those who know and love me, but I can go someplace classier—I can talk about writing, blogging, heck... I can even talk about shoes! *cough* But in order to be appropriate, I have to know the (un)dress code! There are times to hide my nakedness behind a palm tree.

WHO IS READING: Not only do you need to know whether it is formal or casual (un)dress, you need to know who is LOOKING. Now I talk a lot about being naked, yes? It's sort of how I roll. Well if people didn't come in here and see how I interact with all of YOU, they might think it was about SEX, when really it is about comfort and a little tartish sass. Taking over the world is a full time thing, and sex just only takes up... maybe a third of any given day! *shifty* (okay, and was only that one lost summer in college)



Seriously though—is it other writers? Are there young people? What's the mix of men to women? Do they prefer a certain genre? What kind of humor do they like, or are they a serious set? And the VERY most important piece: What are they interested in?





A Guest Should ALSO have a PLAN (I think you know my enthusiasm for plans), at least if it is part of a tour. A book tour requires you always introduce yourself and your book in BRIEF, but the main blog content should CHANGE from blog to blog. I would suggest writing up a list of what you want to cover and where you are going and then matching content to blog, but to do such a thing, you'd need to fly FAR LESS by the seat of your pantslessness than I do....



So there you have it... Guesting and Hosting... I definitely recommend it, but with intent...