Walk With Me

So, I will just confess right off that the eating this week was the big giant SUCK. Between HEALTH stress, MONEY stress, JOB stress... EDITING HELL... The eating right just didn't happen. But I thought maybe I'd share with you a piece of what I did RIGHT.





Take my Saturday walk with me...

First, we step out the door and see that in Michigan, Fall has begun... pretty, yes? I like the stuff that goes so extremely—where the green and red cohabitate...

THIS is the largest Bur Oak in North America, or that is the rumor. It really is GIANT. And sort of magical.

Also in Wurster Park is a wall of yellow flowers taller than me. I like them. They make me happy. (any flowers taller than me make me happy.) After that, I walk down Cat Street (where there are lots of cats *shifty* and then I turn past Jefferson Market (of the Cupcake Fairy Fame) and turn up NUT street.

This I just liked...

And then there is EVIDENCE that it is still CONSTRUCTION (the season that falls opposite winter in Michigan... those are the ONLY two seasons...

And turn the corner to a VERY STRANGE phenomenon, which I left large so you could sort of grasp it. There is this... I'm not sure if it is a store, exactly... gallery? There is a building with WIRE art... there is a whole wire PERSON on a bench... wire HEADS atop a... I'm not sure what it is, but it might be an electrical access something or other—a big metal box next to the sidewalk... with WIRE HEADS ON IT... but since I was partially photographing bugs, I took one of the wall of wire insects... Freaky, eh? Freakier even than a WHOLE CITY willing to install fairy doors? Well... only in that the bugs are less attractive...

And there are people with the wherewithal and means to put mosaic tiles into the sidewalk so there is a permanent hopscotch... There is ALSO a sidewalk with beautiful inlaid blue glass... I think this comes about because when the city requires you to replace sidewalk, they let YOU shop around for the contractor, so if cost doesn't matter, then why NOT do something whimsical...







AND THEN WE REACH THE INNUENDO FEST... FOR REALS...

I arrive at Hiscock... follow it a ways...

Pass the pretty, new little townhouses that play host to a woodchuck family (wish they'd been out—they're very cute)

And what do you know... Hiscock reaches SUMMIT...

But when it crosses Summit, it becomes Wildt.



Did you CATCH THAT... I follow Hiscock to Summit, but after that it becomes Wildt... yeah, somebody is innuendo happy... I think Hiscock is a name. I think SUMMIT was probably honestly named... but Wildt, I am pretty darned sure was somebody's idea of a good joke...



I think I will save the rest of the walk for next week, as that is a lot of pictures already, and it is hard to surpass the innuendo climax I just covered, ne?

Diagnosis: Writing Injury

You think I jest? I am TOTALLY SERIOUS. Swear to Digression, and you know how seriously I take THAT!



Any of you who read my weekend fitness blog know I was a little freaked last weekend... sore ribs, small lump... scared me (badly, truth be told). Yeah, though I am an optimist almost all the time, my mind can still dive into dark places, so there it went.



So Monday I went to the doctor, and I described what was up. She asked me a couple questions. And then she went and got me an anatomy book.

Okay, so here is the visual aid... see the purple... part of the rib cage is cartilage. Where the cartilage and the bone meet has a little more give than we normally count on, and you can actually dislodge the connection, causing irritation, pain, swelling... She said she sees it in mechanics quite a lot from leaning over the side of cars to get at the engine. Who knew?



In the list of questions, and my volunteering answers and information it was determined that the way I was leaning over the side of the bathtub in this editing process put the pressure on the ribs that caused this fiasco... You heard me... EDITING INJURY. Have I been TELLING YOU this editing business is evil? It has just been proven!

She prescribed one of those lovely bathtub table-bobs... Something I will GLADLY love and use, though the money situation is BAD, so I am probably going to put it on my Christmas list and improvise in the meantime. I certainly am not going to put pressure on my darned ribs while I do it.





Speaking of Editing



(Do we HAVE TO?) I know, I know... I'd prefer to let it go, too, but it has been consuming my life... Why do I always forget how long this process actually TAKES? And Why, when I have a deadline, do books I mean to read find their way to me, tempting me to read instead of write... Sitting on top of my writing pile is MOCKINGJAY... and waiting at the top of my library stack is The Secret Life of Bees (put on my list for a little southern atmospheric for this cozy thing)



But that aside... I am middlish with the read through (I've DONE the beat sheet: aka, a couple bullets per section so I have the whole book on 6 pages). I've discovered something... wait for it...



I AM INCAPABLE OF READING WITHOUT MARKING UP THE DAMN THING. (and I can edit while walking, though my writing is really atrocious)



*cough*



But I am making a fair few notes on BIG stuff to do, and THAT I have on a separate set of note cards. When I finish reading, I will read all of THOSE, prioritize (as they may not all work together) then mark the beat sheet as to when they go in, THEN will come the big edit...







And FINALLY! Links YOU NEED (because I'm groovy that way)





FRIDAY IS A FREAKING HOLIDAY!!! National Punctuation Day

(Thank you Jane Sutton of Jane's Ride for this tidbit)--Can you IMAGINE!? A day for geeks like us?!





Do you write Time Travel stuff? Sounds like either fantasy or Sci Fi is okay: an anthology for A Glitch in the Continuum is seeking short stories (5K – 9K) by October 15. You hear that? ANTHOLOGY. As in PUBLISHED. Thank you Mark at The Quiddity of Delusions for the link (though he shared it on Facebook *shifty*





Are you PUBLISHED? Karen Gowen at Coming Down the Mountain is searching for the first set of authors for a new multi-author site intent on promoting books.





And the last one is strictly to amuse you... Perhaps it's a good reminder for authors that where you are determines what you think, but it is illustrated in such a chuckle filled way: Mapping Stereotypes





And this just in.  Mari, at The Giraffability of Digressions is spreading the news about Peace One Day... erm... it was yesterday, but better to know late than not to know...

Confession Time

So you know how this is called CONFESSIONS of a Watery Tart? And how sometimes you get TMI, but mostly you can't send me to jail or anything? And you know how Saturday is my fitness blog?-- my week's admission of physicality as to what is ME? Well today we have a real CONFESSION. I haven't talked to the hubster about it, because frankly, he is in ass-mode—my colleagues at the Microbrewery used to joke about 'his time of the month'--which, when it's a woman offends me greatly—it robs us of our right to be pissed off... but for a man... a monthly week of crabbiness—I can hardly argue. If it were less frequent or more reasonable, I'd argue, but for 22 years my husband seems to have HAD one—That time of the month...



My point? Hubby is crabby and I don't want a crabby response, so I am telling YOU, my BFFs.



First... Nobody panic... This is just me being melodramatic...



So I called the doctor yesterday and made an appointment. Why? I got a pain. Oh, I've TOLD you about the back and shoulder... those seem to be muscle and joint pain and therefore NOT terrifying. THIS pain is... odd.

About two weeks ago I woke up feeling like I'd suffered a bear hug from an overzealous polar bear. My RIBS felt bruised... only on the left, side. But the REAL bugger was not bruising (which never actually SHOWED as bruising... it just FELT like bruising...)... the ribs on my left FELT bruised but didn't LOOK it. I played it down... it's what I do. No big deal... mysterious bruised feeling... Okay... weird, but I am cautious where medical professionals are concerned—no thanx to the DOCS, so for a week and a half, that was something I could live with. Then, yesterday, I got an odd wild hair and bent to the side—little stretching... I fingered the sore side a little... and it wasn't quite right. I bent the other way... and CONFIRMED it wasn't quite right... The left side... the SORE side... has... not a LUMP exactly, but a hard spot... a spot that won't yield to some poking. One side I can squish just a little, poking into my side gut, the other, not so much... It is of note that my RIBS are NEVER where I carry much extra weight and this SPOT is immediately under my ribs, so while I've got plenty of fat on my bod, this is NOT where it sits... that isn't part of this particular mystery, so there isn't a lot of 'what is what' that needs to happen...



So yesterday I made an appointment relating to this 'mysterious hardness below my rib'... And I'm a little worried as to what exactly would do this... the Googled body map makes it look like this is possibly spleen, stomach, maybe kidney or intestine area... Or freaky rib pain... but of course an appropriate paranoid writer type can't QUITE ignore that this doesn't seem right... I''ve decided it must be my spleen *shifty*



That's it... no answers... just fear... I just needed to sort of... let it out there... Appointment made... I'm dealing... just... nervous.







As for the PLAN



I don't think I did horribly (not great). The day I slept through and missed my power walk I made up for, so exercise is on track. Eating was on track MOSTLY... but the scale is arguing with me. Says I am up a pound... hmph.



So there we have it...

Aspartame is teh SATAN

Okay, first WOOHOO!  I got my 200th follower yesterday!  I hope everybody is spending a naked weekend in celebration!!!



And on with it...



So yesterday I think I had a communication FAIL. I should never type a blog post swim meet. I was barely coherent. Erm... Sorry about that. May happen more often through the swim season. Forgive me in advance...



But for TODAY... I have the skinny on.... erm... the FAUX skinny. Evil, horrible Aspartame!

 







            =

















And this is the real deal. Let me e'splain...

On Wednesday I went for Acupuncture. I have talked a little about my back pain... and recently I've also had SHOULDER pain—the worst part of which... between the two, there is no comfortable sleeping position. On my back or front, my back hurts. On my SIDE my shoulder hurts. Not sleeping makes me a CRAB Tart... more than just being a Cancer, I mean...



But that only explains why I was THERE, what I WANT to explain is what I LEARNED!







ASPARTAME IS SATAN...



Yeah, I'm serious. So what Aspartame does is prime your BRAIN for sweet. SWEET in nature means CALORIES. When CALORIES don't follow, the BODY goes seeking them. It will either HOARD any calories that DO come (whatever the source) and STORE them, because it thinks it has been tricked (it has) and will STARVE if it doesn't get some (it probably WON'T but I'm sure this is a gift of evolution). Or else if no calories come, it will make you SEEK THEM.



I had never heard the mechanism for something I suspected before, but my Acupuncturist explained it in such real terms. And it makes SENSE! There is an evil conspiracy telling us that we just need DIET stuff to get thin, but REALLY it will make us FAT!





I am taking this into account in... three guesses...



(Okay, no, you don't have to guess... not hard enough..)

MY NEW PLAN!!!!



You've heard me grumble that I sort of need... a REASON to start, right? Well the 2nd time of the year I am able to start starts TUESDAY. You heard me... the start of school is a 'New Year' in a way. And so my eating, exercise, fitness plan ALSO Starts Tuesday! For reals! The motivation is primed (I even had my Acupuncturist include a few metabolism points... This weekend is my last hurrah.





And this weekend...



I solemnly promise to finish typing my Cozy, to get a fair amount of editing done, and to ENJOY my last weekend of misbehavior (and hopefully catch up a little on blog reading).

What's Missing?

Besides my motivation I mean (for the fitness plan). That has been LONG gone. I'm not even sure I would recognize it anymore. I bet it's grown a beard and is wearing rhinestone glasses and has even shaved its head. If I were better at Photo Shop, I would create several pictures for you so you could send it back my way. I am hoping with the deadline of SCHOOL STARTING (the Tuesday after labor day) he just has the decency to show up, because I really need to get back to it... I DO have a plan though... the PLAN isn't missing.



I suppose ALSO missing are my organization skills, much of the free time I normally have (grant season at work, plus two manuscripts under revision), and my time manager for the editing thing...







But there is a GOOD MISSING!!!



I just spotted it today, and it is AMAZING!

I am reading The Girl Who Played With Fire. I am half way in. And like The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, it is under-edited... more detail than probably should have been left in... but with a dead author, I forgive them...



What has STRUCK ME though, is that once the crime has been committed... the VOICE of Lisbeth Salander is MISSING! She had some sections in the early book... we knew what she was up to and how she was doing (pretty decently, all things considered)... and then the CRIME... a crime SHE is suddenly suspected of (one we KNOW she was on scene nearly at the exact time of...) ... and I haven't seen hide nor hair of her in 100 pages..AND I'M FRANTIC! I can hardly put the book down because I HAVE TO KNOW where the heck she IS!!!



It had never before occurred to me how powerful something NOT THERE could be to page turnability.



So now I know...

Sorry so short, but that felt INCREDIBLY insightful to me... and I am trying REALLY HARD to make progress on my typing and editing this weekend, PLUS, I am ALSO revealing Drabble winner results over at Burrowers, Books & Balderdash today... so I will leave it at that...



I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!

I Love Weekends

A post in which I mostly just ramble...

Sleeping In



My favorite feature is the sleeping in part. I sometimes wonder if I would be adept at life if I had no day job. I certainly would get more sleep, which I don't have time for. I do love those two days though, when I get to lay in bed until ten, not least because my husband gets up around eight and I can SPRAWL.



I don't like GOING to sleep in a sprawl. I don't go to sleep well when he's gone. That's what twenty years (when we first moved in together) will do to you, I suppose. And there is an association with fighting—maybe if one of us traveled a lot it wouldn't be that way, but as it is, even if we AREN'T fighting, if he isn't there, it seems like we are.





The Down Side of the Weekend





Laundry: Weekends are my laundry days. I don't really have feelings about washing and drying clothes one way or the other, except better me than them. My husband is inclined to wash three things at a time *rolls eyes* and my daughter mixes her things together irregardless of color (and dries her bras—something one cannot do and expect them to hold form--then she begs for new ones).



Folding laundry on the other hand, is the punishment from the third ring of hell... endless days of looking for the damn matching sock. It is a little better if I can convince the kids to scram, as I can put in a movie I want to watch while I do it (only one of our TVs has a DVD player, and they monopolize it if they are here.



Shopping: I hate to shop. I know... some of you girly-princess types ADORE it, but I'm a womanly-EMPRESS type and I'M NAKED. What on earth would a naked empress need to shop for? You got it... her SPAWN. Her spawnlings LIKE to take her shopping so that she can spend money she doesn't have on things they claim they need.

The daughter claims to need a second pair of Happy Bottom pants... no, that's not right... Hard Tails... These are pretty much high end yoga pants, and I remember being her age and hating jeans because I was bigger than my friends and felt like they looked lousy. Jeans give the painful reminder every time you grow a little... fail to exercise... and I didn't see that as a benefit until I was in my twenties and knew I NEEDED a reality check now and then or I would just misbehave... So I can see the appeal, but I have a VERY hard time not insisting she should just wear the Target brand (though she is right that they get holes pretty quickly--we will see if these last better)



Son wants expensive shoes for his ever-growing feet. They are a size thirteen... Age 11 and he has the biggest feet in my house. He seems to have had a growth spurt this summer too. I think he is five-eight—certainly as tall as my daughter (who is possibly done growing). My husband is about 6'2” if he stands up straight (which he rarely does) so the son will one day be tallest, too... Very strange, that...

Speaking of misbehaving...



I didn't even TRY this week on the diet. Not one stitch. And the scale has taken its revenge. I need to get back on track BADLY and am having a heck of time getting back on track. I know myself well enough to know it won't work to 'just do it'--I need a marker of sorts, so school starting is it. I am going to try not to be too BAD until then... try not to gain any more of it back... but acting in the positive... THAT is hard. Best to do it at a time that we are 'beginning' things anyway... so the Tuesday after Labor day.





Editing: Slow going. I am TYPING Chapter 17 (of 21, but 21 is very short). I am short on words—extrapolating, almost 15,000 short, though I have a list of things to get in there.... some of them ongoing plot points... I think though, one of the things I REALLY need to weave in better is Roanoke and the Gardening.

So a PLEA: Any of you garden avidly and lovingly in a zone 7? I need your help!  Just to chat a little about the things you love... get a feel for what you like to grow... email me!

And finally... it is my mother's 63rd birthday. She and I are still having a rough time, though we aren't 'not speaking' anymore. Her reality just still never touches real reality and it drives me crazy. But my KIDS are going out to see their nana and papa this week, so that will be good. Strange to put your children on a plane and send them across country without you, but they should be able to handle it—they flew one direction alone two years ago (though were young enough then for the airline escort between gates). My daughter is 15 and has flown quite a bit and my son is 11 and logical. I am VERY glad airports are closed to non-passengers, and am glad the airports they change planes in are Minneapolis and Salt Lake, as those are both clean, easily laid out and full of people happy to help if you just ask. It will be good for all of them to spend some time together though. 



So there we have it... my rambling life at a glance...

Bad For Me

I set of listy wisties, on things that are bad for.... THINGS...

Bad for the DIET



Time off

Chinese food for breakfast

Humidity (as an exercise obstacle)

Fatigue (as an exercise obstacle)

Self pity

Potato chips

Really good beer

Pool parties

Stress

Matinees

Rum

VACATION



(you may be able to tell I did NOT in fact get back on track this week)





Bad for the WRITING



Obsessions with catching up on TV series (Grey's Anatomy and True Blood)

Matinees

Pool Parties

Rum

VACATION



(Though in actuality, the WRITING is done, so the obstacles are interfering with typing and editing and I think I've been clear on how I feel about the editing...)

So I am leaving it short this week, as I am on my last weekend of VACATION and hopefully getting back to a routine will knock everything else back into line. (I can hope, yes?)

No. Just... No.

My week of fitness was a big giant FAIL... I am in bad need of a spanking.



The week starting with all the events referred to in my Wednesday blog may have had something to do with it, but I fell down ALL over the place, ALL week long. BAD BAD BAD.



But tomorrow starts a new month and I will start trying fresh.





In the meantime, to make me feel better, I ran my various names through the Anagram Machine and thought I would show you how apt some of them were.



[Disclaimer: I cannot be held responsible for the time you waste at this site (and you WILL waste time on this site.)] (though I plan on blaming Mark for introducing me)





Anagrams for Tami Hart



A Harm Tit

That Mari (Ha! I'm an IMPOSTER!)

Am Tart, Hi or conversely: I'm Tart. HA! (Is there anything more perfect?)





Hart Johnson



Ha! John! *Snort*

Jars Nth Ho On

Tar John Nosh

Tami Hart-Johnson



Rajah Nth Motions

Asthma Horn Joint

Trainman Josh Hot

Artisan John Moth

Harsh Ninja Motto

Marsh Ninja Tooth

Math Ration Johns

Ninja Arm Hotshot

A Hart Smooth Jinn

A Harts Ninth Mojo

Alyse Carlson (Oh, these are good!!!)



Rascally Ones

Larceny Lasso

Solace Snarly

A Sensory Call

A Crayon Sells

Carnal Yes Sol

Salsa Con Rely

Sly Lace Arson

Aces Snarly Lo



So what are your anagrams?

The Long Way

So I made some serious progress this week... the fitness and the writing... and learned a lesson I think relates to BOTH about what NOT to do...

First the Good News



I did the arm and shoulders thing 3 times.

I used the exercise ball 3 times.

Only 2 diet cokes

I wrote 3+ chapters.



YAY Progress!





Now the Lesson(s)



I think I get easily sidetracked, ye know? Like... I can't do all the things right at the same time. But when I do stupid stuff, I get annoyed.

Typing. NOT Editing



You know I write long-hand, yes? Naked in the bathtub. That's me. I am writing chapter 17 right now, but TYPING 10 because frankly, there is more competition for my computer time (blogging, Facebook, Grey's Anatomy) than there is for my writing time (Sudoku and reading notwithstanding, but the one doesn't take long, and the writing I like every bit as well as the reading when things are flowing)... The typing... erm... Don't like it.



But when I type I DO correct some wording things... heck, I had a stretch in there this time where I was writing in present tense (not clue what kicked THAT off, unless it was rum *shifty*) so I do minor editing as I type. What I need to remember NOT to do, is PLOT editing. Every time I do it, it is because I've thought I forgot something and am now trying to FIX it, but every time, I DIDN'T forget to WRITE it, I just forgot I WROTE it, and then I have this inconsistency string. Grrrrrrr.

COUNT POINTS COUNT POINT COUNT POINTS



I ate MOSTLY what I was supposed to this week but DIDN'T count points... pound back on. I KNOW the gig. I just need to DO IT! In my defense, we were hiring at work (found a great woman for the job and she's accepted—YAY!) but that meant messing up breakfast (normally oatmeal, which helps my frame of mind for eating right—I eat it at 10:00 most days, because that seems to be the middle grown—pretty hungry by then, but if I eat earlier then I want lunch unreasonably early). This week it was bagels at 9 (before interviews) which means I am starving early for lunch and in the wrong frame of mind to keep eating right. The extra obligation in my day ALSO makes me more stressed at work (the stuff still needs doing, and I need to be more efficient (far fewer blog visits between tasks—sorry) which all contributes to really wanting a cocktail when I get home... whereby any non-point counting gets undermined. 6 points worth of COCKTAIL on top of eating right and on points will undermine all but the best days. THAT is why I need to count. Otherwise I just let those slide and they add up over time.







And How Are those things related?



I know, I claimed they were... And I think they ARE, just sort of obliquely. Mainly just because I KNOW what to do, I have LEARNED these lessons before, but sometimes I have this willful forgetting thing where I don't do what I need to.



SO STOP IT ALREADY!

*Cough*

And Have a Great weekend!

Fitness Blah Blah Blaj

First off, I had a string of new followers this week... 13, I think, which is quite a lot in a week that I'm only half sure what I did right (and that didn't come until Thursday)—because hosting Elizabeth was DEFINITELY a good move on my part!--the post with her 18 Helpful Marketing Tips has been linked by several helpful people and I suspect may get hits for a long time to come. Makes me think I ought to organize a sidebar with 'most popular posts'. I believe I have @InkyElbows (Twitter name) to thank once again for part of the spread.  But at that point I'd already added a fair few...

So anyway WELCOME to new followers! (and I now have 96 flags—the most recent is an 'unknown European Union' one—whatever that means... Peru right before that) For some reason those flags make me really happy. I suppose it's because Naked WORLD Domination needs to reach all over the WORLD, ne?



Any, Saturday is typically my fitness day, so... Back to it...





Fitness Update



So it WORKED! (mostly... but mostly sort of counts, right?) Now I suppose I should start with my to-do list from last week, so you know it wasn't a TOTAL success...

Exercise Ball? Erm... not so much.

Weight Lifting? No but... no but... no but... I did some counter push-ups and stuff... (my upper body isn't strong enough for traditional push ups, so I often do them leaned against a counter--the steeper the angle, the closer to a real push-up) so... sort of.

Diet Coke Drop? SUCCESS! I had one Wednesday, but I figure one a week is perfectly reasonable. (maybe even TWO, but I didn't start counting until Monday, so it is only half a week. The point was, I RESISTED 4 days)

Writing down points? Erm. No.



BUTTTTTTTT!!!!! I COUNTED them. And I ate on plan Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, was only a little over Wednesday and on Friday I followed other than the allowance for a couple drinks... it's a Friday thing...



I know. It sounds an awful lot like I didn't do it at all, but that, in a WAY is the revelation... because this was such an improvement (enlightening me on just how FAR I was from doing it BEFORE). And it got me back to where I needed to be to lose weight—yes, slowly, but slow is okay.



My friend Linda (who is a Registered Dietician) says slowly lost weight stays off longer. And losing is better that staying the same (if you are overweight) and it is almost ALWAYS better than gaining, unless you are a baby or child... or very sickly. Which I'm not.





And my own weight is back to my low, so no new weight loss, but I am down 41 pounds since January and feeling ready to now START!

I guess my real victory—And I think it IS one, in spite of only doing one of four things on my list, is that my HEAD is actually back in the game. I FEEL like I am DOING it.



So giving a shout out—last week I have a few who wanted to join in either the HOT SHOULDERS campaign or the weight loss piece... Success? Near misses? Better luck this week?

Gemini Tendencies

In Which the Tart is Two Places at Once...



The Burrow, at Burrowers, Books & Balderdash, is beginning a nefarious plan tradition. TODAY, I explain it all to you and give you an example, and TOMORROW it begins. In brief, we have a history of writing DRABBLES (stories of exactly 100 words) to IMAGES. Today we have an EXAMPLE of a project we did in which several of us wrote to the SAME image, and TOMORROW we are POSTING an image, and asking you to join us in the fun... So head over there if you like that Drabble thing, or even if you're curious. Come on, I know you want to...





But I am ALSO doing my regular fitness blog HERE... So there.



And for today, I am offering a LIST.





THINGS I INTEND TO START DOING ANY DAY NOW *shifty*

1)  Lifting weights. My upper body doesn't carry the same unsightly BULK as my lower half, but my arms and back are actually capable of great hotness, if I really try. I haven't been really trying for a very long time, but I keep thinking, “I don't want author photos until my arms have achieved great hotness.”



2)  Using my exercise ball. I'm supposed to. My back feels a lot better when I do, so it isn't strictly for the six pack I crave... but somehow making the TIME is just really really hard...



3)  Giving up Diet Coke. Oh, I know—seems harmless, but I think in reality that when we try to fool our bodies, they fool us back—jokes on us... I was reading a comment at Sugar's blog recently from a person who says there is RESEARCH SHOWING people who drink diet pop actually gain weight—and I believe it. Now I don't know if it's because people think “Oh, look, I gave up the 200 calorie soda, so I can have the extra in dessert.” That's possible. I think it's more likely there is some “BUYA! Not falling for THAT one! Coming from inside...



4)  Journaling points: I haven't written down what I eat since maybe... February... See the trouble is I'm pretty good at calculating and then keeping track in my head—ACCURATELY... so that when I'm DOING IT, it works anyway. But not writing it down makes it too easy to STOP DOING IT... So it is time to get back to it.

Now this week hasn't been as bad as last week—I actually lost a little of what I gained—though not back to my low yet, but I am doing the wrong stuff all over the place... I just need to find my core... the WRITING got back to it this week, so hopefully NEXT week the fitness piece will too...



Because I TOO want to have an admirable behind...

Out of Control

For those of you new around here, and there seem to be a fair few (YAY!), Saturday I usually have at least SOME fitness focus... January I started a weight loss plan, but thought once a week was adequate to address it... Today I am wishing I didn't have to address it at all, but in the spirit of accountability... There ARE though, other things to talk about... Maybe I'll give you a sneaker:



~ Are any of the rest of you getting RECRUITMENT EMAIL?

~ What the heck is HAPPENING around here?

~ Why am I suddenly spiralling out of control?

Recruitment of my BLOG



Are you freaking serious? Is this familiar to any of you? I've gotten like 4 emails in the last week asking my BLOG to participate in this or that network and it is scaring the poo out of me. I mean... they SEEM nice enough, but I'm terrified! You know WHY? 1) I don't know if they're legitimate and I don't want to give some illegitimate annoying marketing scam POWER. 2) I don't seem to have the excess mental capacity at the moment to learn something NEW. 3) I don't REALLY have time if these things TAKE time, which it sort of seems they OUGHT to if they are any good... 4) I really don't want to muck anything up... BUT I am also scared NOT TO. What if this is how to send my blog into the stratosphere and guarantee this giant force to help me out when my book comes out?



I would LOVE to hear experiences or advice about any of these. Are any of them GOOD? Is it worth the TIME? Are any of them TRAPS? HELP!

Hit Explosion



I've had my best week ever in blog hits, including a DAY that surpassed my former highest ever (the BuNoWriMo one)--but the odd thing is, I'm not really sure what happened? I have no clue WHO is now coming in... I've had a few new followers this week, but THOSE I can track—three resulted from Alex recommending me as a funny blog (Dude, I owe you!) and the other three, I THINK because of my visiting and commenting at THEIR blogs... but these HITS are way out of proportion.



Past weeks, I typically get about 3 times as many hits as visitors (because a COMMENT means two hits—one for the read and one to submit) I figure this seems pretty normal. My day with 600 hits, it was closer to 80-90 visitors... so the ratio was way off. Granted, I had a record (for me) number of comments that day. But I'm not sure if I just 'leveled' to use a video game term, or if this week was a fluke... I guess I will see.

And Now... OUT OF CONTROL



Life is a whirlwind at the moment. Kids are out of school for summer, hubby is done with his class (and excessively persnickety), WriMo is done and I am Writing my Garden Cozy... And somehow I can't seem to get my eating under control.



For the first three months of the year I did REALLY WELL. Then, since April 1, I've been steady—no more loss, but no gain... And in both cases I can identify WHY. I did WELL when I was actively counting points. I stopped counting points in April but have maintained pretty practical eating levels, with only rare splurges.



This week I couldn't seem to stop the SPLURGES. Heck, I bought POP TARTS this week at work because I convinced myself I was starving. POPTARTS are not the answer! Neither are potato chips! Hubby didn't help the matter AT ALL. Our dinners were... a few things that are fine once or twice a week, and a few things that are only fine once in a blue moon (pizza, nachos), but 5 of the last 7 nights, dinner has been beef based. Beef, in and of itself isn't awful, but probably 2-3 nights ought to be the limit. MY PROBLEM THOUGH is because it is higher in fat and calories, it is double the points per ounce, so REALLY messes with the 'plan' or else leaves me HUNGRY and I was not in the frame of mind to be HUNGRY.



The other problem is, we are pretty frugal around here, so what I take for LUNCH, is what was left over from DINNER... you can see how 5 nights of beef + pizza compounded... And then when I am feeling SORRY for myself, man-oh-man!

So the weight is up this week, and I know WHY. What I FEAR, is that on this roller coaster, I have hit the low and am on my way up. I know technically I ought to be able to pull myself back into line, but I also know my history. It frightens me. I am going to spend some time walking this morning and try to wrap my head around the psychology of it and see if I can shift where my head is. Probably what I need is a lovely lake to skinny dip in or something... that always improves my perspective. I bet these guys know where the good water is...

Motivational Moat

Watery Tart: Hello?



TAUNTING FRENCHMEN: 'Allo?



WT: You there, can I talk to the motivational master?



TF: No! Now go away!



WT: But I'm on a desperate quest for motivation! I need his help to find it!



TF: Well I'll ask 'im, but I don't think 'e'll be very keen. You see, he's already got some!





And there we have it... I can SEE the motivation from across the moat, but I can't GET there, and the motivational minions will do NOTHING but taunt me!

My OWN motivation seems to have petered off... Even the writing is hard right now, possibly because I can see I'm ready to just finish Kahlotus Disposal Site and it will be short of 50K words at this iteration, but STILL, just finish the darned thing, right? But for some reason I can't get going. I had one REALLY good day this week, but mostly it's been just a few hundred words here and there.



The eating is the same as it's been for months... mostly good, moments of bad, weight flat... better than gaining (especially in a birthday week, I suppose). A big thunderstorm interrupted one of my walks this week—couldn't bring myself to do the elliptical instead.



I am in the home stretch for June, so I think I can get back to it. It is also the last weekend of my husband's class, so from here one out, keeping my routine will get easier again. I guess it is just BACK TO IT... I have little enough left to write, that I'd REALLY like to get done this weekend, then THAT particular thing can be off my list.





July Anticipation



We also have a couple EXCITING things coming in July. The Burrow is starting a blog (Burrowers, Books, and Balderdash)—about once a week, I will be posting something THERE. On that day I'll be sure and post something HERE linking to where I am, but I'm really excited for you all to get to know a couple of my fellow Burrowers.



July I will also be seriously writing my Cozy Mystery first draft—the pace isn't as fast as the WriMo, necessarily, but it also needs to be a lot cleaner. My deadline isn't until the end of December, but I have rounds built in for feedback and the rewrite/edit thing. I think that's especially important for this first one. I will want them all fabulous, but the plotting of mystery is a lot tighter than what I normally write, and the line between too much and not enough information for readers to 'solve along with the sleuth' is a lot narrower-- to walk it, I will need that feedback and reworking time, so I am trying to have draft one done by mid August.



So here we go... Have a great first weekend of summer, everyone!

Afraid to Look

So while I don't think EVERYTHING is yet going badly, I noticed a bad habit crop up this week, that has me vaguely worried. I only weighed myself TWICE other than weigh in day. Now I know if you are doing a program diet they TELL YOU only once a week, but in my 30 years of dieting experience, it is my experience that if I WEIGH every day, I keep from letting it get out of hand... YES, weight goes up and down, and you get a feel for what is normal and why, but you DON'T, if you weigh every day, have more than about 2 really stupid days in a row.



I don't think I am yet at stupid days exactly--in fact my weight is microscopically down (-41 from starting point--half pound below my low), but I AM having some challenges.







Day Job Stress



I need to be a little obtuse here, as it IS a public forum, but suffice it to say, while I HATE micromanaging, I probably should have been doing it and my boss is getting some crap for my having NOT. This is compounded by ANOTHER person having FAILED to tell somebody “they are asking why you are doing this” (to the person I should have been micromanaging-when said person was out of MY view, so I didn't know) and instead gossiping within a different part of the department. THREE of us fell down on what we should have done, but I am going to be stuck picking up the pieces.



It's very stressful to fail somebody you respect. Even more so to feel like you failed because you believed the best in human nature—that others shared your work ethic and loyalty (the idea that I should have said "where were you?  What were you doing? Seriously?  But I should have). There also seems to have been some common sense missing, but I suppose part of MY common sense comes from people who used to work above ME gossiping about how it goes, and I'm not really a gossipy gal.

Summer



And then the kids are ending their school year—not me. I work year-round... And I always feel just a little jealous of people who get that cycle... with starts and ends and a break in between. I wanted to be an academic at one point, before I understood that in reality, it is only the TEACHING part that is cyclical—summer is just as busy or more so, because it is the intensive research time. Anyway... I LOVE this season, but it is also one I fight the little green-eyed monster just a little.

Hubby's Class



My husband is doing nursing prerequisites. Once he is done, he will apply for nursing school, which is an EXCELLENT fit for him. My cue that this punk rocker has a good heart was that he nursed his mom through cancer 22 years ago—but in all this time he has lacked the confidence to DO IT. Finally, after getting laid off almost 2 years ago, he decided to give it a go. He took his math.  He took some biology.  Well this spring he has been doing a CNA course (NOT certified nudist assistant, but certified NURSE'S assistant) and he really likes it--first patient contact, but it is ALL DAY Saturday and Sunday. Normally HE has family duties weekdays and we SPLIT on weekends. But right now, I have FULL ON family duties on weekends WITH NO CAR. You see, we only have one, and he had to go too far to either leave it with me, or have me drop him off and come home.



So today I need to WALK to buy the father's day gift (which I at least finally remember what he'd LIKE!), do laundry, clean the bathroom, then prepare for our neighborhood picnic... where I will proceed to drink too much beer and embarrass myself, as I do each year.





ON THAT NOTE... the neighborhood picnic last year was my first 'outing' among people I KNOW as a writer—there were a couple following my blog (which made me feel totally NAKED!--I know... ironic I should mind, ne?) but I talked to the neighbor who introduced me to my first 'published author' acquaintance (the woman who said 'they are rejecting you because it is 200K words'--THANK YOU honest feedback!) So I am THRILLED to be able to tell them this year that I have a publishing contract in progress!





Okay... Nuff on Excuses... BACK TO IT!  I am ready to yank the eating plan back on track!  (erm... after the block party)

And More Pleasantly...



I had a moment of maternal pride last night. My son, done with 6th grade... asked if he and a few friends could go to an Ann Arbor tradition called 'Top of the Park'--on campus there is a stage (band some nights, movie others) food booths, ton of activity--all family friendly... we made it VERY clear this was going to be RARE for our 11 year old, but he was going in a group, AND his sister (15) would be there with her boyfriend and a couple of HER friends.



He went. 'The Boyfriend' drove him. His sister showed him where I'd pick him up and what his friends meant about where to meet them. Then about 9 he calls (pick-up was scheduled for 9:30). “Mom, can you come get me now... thunder storms, yada yada.” (apparently a weather warning had come through)  So I did.



Did you know two minutes after I got him, his SISTER called his cell phone to make sure he was okay and wasn't going to be caught in the storm? She is normally TERRIBLY self-centered, and I was so pleased she was concerned enough to make sure he got to cover okay.  We had asked her just to keep an eye out, but she told us they wouldn't be there the whole time, so I wasn't sure if she'd even known about the warning).



It's nice to get periodic evidence that you haven't completely failed at creating caring offspring.

Mixed Progress

Whoever thought shouting 'Go!' and jumping into the writing arena would also let loose the motivation to eat right is a MORON! *shifty* Seriously, folks, why did nobody remind me what a selfish bastard Xavier could be? I finally let him fly and it is all ME ME ME ME ME! So I guess it is a good news bad news kind of week, and because I am feeling sadistic, having just applied electroshock to one of my characters and all, I am starting with the good news and then will leave you dangling with the bad, so there!

BuNoWriMo



I love this cute little graph Jason made... more of the image displayed as I make progress. Jason is a fellow Burrower, and the one who seems to have the most computer smarts. He can be a little shy, but he's sure handy! Anyway, you can see my progress creeping across there, but that doesn't really put into perspective where I SHOULD be at this point, so here is my OWN handy creation (in the ugly Open Office Data somethingsomething--I forget what they call it).

You saw this in the planning stages... the red is how much progress I need to make in order to get to the goal on time, and the blue is the progress I've actually made. I am on page 45 (10,928 words) and counting. Not bad at all! And I like the story so far. I've noticed one thing that I will need to put in later, so made a note about it, but mostly I think it's not going too badly.



This is the first time I've ever written something BOTH on the laptop AND by hand, and I think it is actually working pretty well. I do better on emotional stuff by hand—last night when I had to apply electroshock... yeah... that was a hand job *cough*. I have a primary PoV from a ghost, and then two other PoVs that I am allowing periodically. I will stick with these three—I don't like books as well that jump all over, but the two minor ones are a LIVING student and a teacher. I feel like they help fill in what Helen doesn't understand.



One of the tricky things I've been working with is wording. Helen, having died in 1962, doesn't have a CLUE about some things... computers, cell phones... and she makes some assumptions about other things... a student is given a shot to sedate her and Helen thinks it will work like ether... that the girl will wake up totally out of it with a pounding headache... doesn't work that way. But the trickiest part is race names. Helen is from a time where the words Indian and Negro were used instead of American Indian and Black (and in between we had Native American and African American)--it is a confusing history... this is a YA book... do I ADDRESS THAT? I've kept Helen authentic to her time period so far, but I do feel obliged to explain at some point so young readers know it is an ERA thing, not an ignorant author.



Maybe because of my day job I am touchy on that front. I read recently a description that said, “Hispanic or Native American, not Caucasian” OHMYFREAKINGGAWD are you kidding me? For one, Hispanic SHOULD be Latino—a man I know, when called Hispanic, says (typically with scolding good humor), “I'm not from Espaňa.” (yes, I know that is the wrong n, but I can't find how to make an enye).  But the IMPORTANT point, is Latino is an ethnicity that does NOT rule OUT Caucasian—ethnicity and race are SEPARATE issues, and American Indians ARE Caucasian. Okay. Rant over.



Anyway—my STORY is going really well. So there.









The EATING on the Other Hand...



Man! For some reason I am feeling entitled to eat what I want when I want. Add to that a pesky tummy ache part of the week that seemed exacerbated by hunger... The scale is in the same place, or thereabouts... I am at that 40 pounds down spot that I have only been below by half a pound one time... so HOLDING, but I'm frankly shocked it didn't inch up with my bad behavior this week...



So maybe it is time to dance naked under the moon and hope THAT brings me under control.

On a lighter Note:



The countdown begins! One week until my Tartiversary of blogging! Oh, yeah... and it falls on a SATURDAY so I want to have a PAH-TAY! Wahoo! Being me, I will probably include a sappy sentimental journey and a couple lovely man-butts. You are definitely ALL invited—Mark it on your calendar—June 12... I may even have to see if I can think of some prizes... I'm poor, so they will probably be more in the form of services than stuff, but I think I can come up with something...



So I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!