Soft place to fall

Today has been about open arms, an open mind, opening options, listening, being cried on and being a mum. A crisis for my girlie has consumed me today and I'll get back on with my life when we're all upright and OK. I know those of you who have read my blog for a while will know exactly what I mean.

Cobwebs go hang,
Dust go to sleep,
I'm rockin' my baby,
and babies don't keep. xxx

I'm off to do some more rockin'

Love Froogsxxxx

There by the grace of God go I.

Poor Kids

Thanks to Sharon and a Facebook link, I watched the BBC documentary 'Poor Kids'. I live in the 5th richest country in the world and yet every day, thousands of kids live in poverty and total squalor. I've put the link above and would ask any one who hasn't seen it, to do so. I don't think you can watch it if you live outside the UK. It's filmed, with the parents permission by just letting the children talk. What they say is devastating to hear.

When I think of my childhood, we were 'skint'. We lived in a cold house, washed in cold water every day but Sunday, which was bath day and we ate a variety of kinds of stew or soup. My parents were though, incredibly resourceful. My dad, and just about every body's dad fished of Par harbour wall, off Spit beach and off Polkerris. We ate soused mackerel and fried whiting, until, I probably stunk of it. Dad's idea of entertaining us was to take us 'crabbing' for the huge brown crabs that lurk in hidey holes in rock pools and we would drag them out with a 'crab hook'. He used to take us bird watching and lift us on his shoulders and if we promised to be very still and very quiet he would show us black bird nests and we would go back and see the chicks. We ate homemade bread with blackberry jelly and we ate it every day for breakfast. We had chickens in the back garden of our council house, behind the rows and rows of veg and we had eggs, but not many.

 We had 'clamps' for root veg and kilner jars ranged on shelves in sheds filled with tomatoes, stewed fruit, more stewed blackberries. We would walk, with a knackered old pram to fetch parafin out of the Esso blue machine outside the iron mongers on Hambleys' corner. In fact, that knackered old pram (I remember feeling ashamed pushing that ****ing thing around! ) went to Dave's discount in St. Blazey, which was  a fair old walk from where we lived and mum used to buy a 'fore quarter' of beef, all of which must have died of old age and needed the regulation stewing for days on end on top of the 'rayburn' in the front room. But, we ate hearty meals and there was always plenty of it.

Everything happened around that rayburn. School blouses and knee high white socks used to go in a big jam pan on top of it, with a sprinkle of Tide and would come out gleaming, they they would be hung over the Rayburn to dry. In the summer, they blew dry in the breeze. We used to fetch a kettle off it to wash up and wash ourselves (the council never fixed the back boiler in all the twenty three years mum lived there!) We would sit by it as our only source of heat, the oven door open on a Sunday as we sat with our back to it to dry our hair. Bread would be rising on it, baking in it, washing would bubble away in a big pan ontop to be fished out and spun in a spinny machine that mum would have to sit on to stop it wandering around the front room as she caught the water in a bowl beside it.

Knit wear came from jumble sales, was unpicked, re-knitted into waistcoats and pullovers for us all and crocheted into blankets for our beds. Clothes were altered and refashioned. When A line skirts were 'out' and straight skirts were 'in', mum would alter them, collars were turned, school jumpers unpicked and refashioned to fit the next term. Shoes were always cleaned and our school coat brushed before we left the house.

Entertainment came from the local church groups, Sunday school, the village fete, the school fair and Christmas Bazaar. The ECLP works do for kids at Christmas, with something nice and new to wear, mum and dad dancing, mum a bit tiddly on a glass of Blue Nun and dad with a pint of Watneys.

We were by any comparison, a skint family. Sweets were for Christmas and birthdays, holidays were unheard of, we some times went cold and we didn't have a choice of food. Unlike the kids in the documentary, my parents kept us scrubbed and clean to the point of gleaming, fed us before they fed themselves, did the very best to keep us warm, read library books to us, walked us to Sunday school, and even made toys for us to play with. After watching in awe at Blue Peter, where they made a house for a 'Cindy doll', unknown to me, my dad worked quietly at night and made one for me, and the furniture! Mum used to make dolls clothes for us and my brother had the most amazing homemade 'dilly cart'. I remember hating Christmas because other kids would boast and at the beach kids had ice cream and I didn't. But I can look back now , at the most amazing childhood of home grown food, homemade clothes, and parents, who without any money, sometimes unemployed due to be off 'long term sick' did the very, very best they could for us.

Please follow the link to the BBC i-player, please watch it. I also felt compelled to do something. I found the local 'foodbank' in the area where I work and where I live.

I've emailed and was given a shopping list and was told they would be grateful for anything on that list. In my area, hundreds of boxes of emergency food have been given away. If you lose your job, and there is no redundancy package, it can be weeks and weeks before anyone gets any money at all. In the meantime, or should I say, in the lean time, they rely on handouts if they are unable to run up huge debts. They want simple things such as UHT milk, fruit juice and cereals, tinned meat of fish and so on. If you live in my area, 'google' Liskeard Food bank and they would be glad of donations; it's a national network and there may be one in your area, in that case just google the name of your area, followed by 'food bank'.

I could have been the unlucky ones, some of the kids I went to school with were dirty, smelly, tatty and lived in houses that smelt of chip fat and ciggies, mine smelt of homemade bread and crisp drying laundry. As I said, there by the grace of God go I.

Until tomorrow,

Froogs xxxxxx

I'll admit; I'm a cheap date!

Take a chicken breast per person, cut almost in half and flatten out, cover in a plastic bag and then gently use a rolling pin as a mallet to flatten it out even further.

 Our supper was not cheap! It shouldn't have been. This May marks the fifteen years we've been together and part of the reason that we've just about got enough money together to go for a week's really quite plush holiday. Anything is plush when you can't afford it. We've worked like troopers today. The whole house is clean, all the down stairs floors have been washed, all the windows have been cleaned, so has the car and the drive and paths are all swept and tidy. Careful shopping, after a bit of research has been split between Asda and Lidl this week. Our shopping bill has almost doubled, due to the high protein content and we can't get away without spending around £50 - £60 a week!

We don't eat out, I've given up drinking and Dearly Beloved drinks one bottle of beer a week! Good food keeps us going. I was having a coffee this morning, whilst watching Gino D'Acampo cooking and I've tried to do something similar. He stuffed chicken with minced wild mushroom and other yummy stuff, which I haven't used, but I've used his cooking method.

I used Quark, which I had drained over night to thicken, added a clove of crushed garlic and a two finely chopped shallots, a sprinkle of parsley and mixed together before stuffing the chicken.

 I then, in the financial absence of Parma ham!!! Wrapped each piece in smoky bacon, after firstly cutting off any fat.

 I then tightly wrapped it in cooking paper and formed a kind of Christmas cracker to keep it all together.

 I cooked it in the mini oven for 40 minutes. Check your own oven, every one is different and may need more of less time.

 I then made a dressing to go with the chicken and the salad. I peeled and de-seeded half a cucumber, finely diced it, added a tablespoon of mint sauce (sugar free) to a single portion size of plain fat free yoghurt. I loosened it with lemon juice and then decided, after tasting it, that some dried corriander would liven it up....and it did.

 It certainly tasted better than it looked..

Here's the cooked chicken. The quark in the centre was a bit of a disaster, when yoghurt products are cooked, they tend to seperate and the bottom of the roasting dish was just full of water, but the garlic, parsley and chopped shallots could be tasted in a burst at the centre of the chicken.

Here's the final result! Romantic meal for two. Homemade, frugal, carb free and it was totally delicious!

Happy Birthday to my only son!

 We have been so good with money for so long, sometimes I forget that I am allowed to spend it. We're watering the garden with shower and washing machine rinse water, we don't flush 'yellow', we don't waste anything, we save money to pay for everything on the nail, we don't shop and if we need something and can get if from a car boot sale or charity shop, we do. We haven't used credit cards since 2009 and have paid off credit card debt (still have car finance and home loan to go, but not for much longer). I home cook everything and waste nothing. We don't go to the cinema, theatre and haven't been on holiday of any sort since 2008. We've got it under control.

Last year, on my son and dad's birthday, the family came to me and I cooked every body lunch and we also did the same the year before that. This year we took our son out for lunch. We tried to coax our daughter to go with us but nothing will drag her out of where she needs to be to cope right now. She knows where we are.

Here's the events of our lovely day. We drove to Torpoint and took the ferry to Plymouth before picking up our son and heading into town.

 I purposefully persuaded them to park miles away from the restaurant as it's a beautiful day and I wanted to get a long walk into my day. I love Plymouth Hoe. It's where I used to take my children to roller blade and ride their bikes, where we used to walk our dog and a place where so many public events took place that we used to attend as a family with young children. I miss Plymouth in the summer.

 Here's the Plymouth version of the 'London eye'. I couldn't be persuaded to part with £21 for the three of us to go on it, even though I really wanted to.

 Plymouth really epitomises cafe society and there is nothing better than a stop off at a cafe on one of the terraces on the Hoe for a coffee in the middle of our walk to the Barbican.

 Here is me and my 25 year old only son! He works away from the area as a shop fitter and we rarely see him. It was just wonderful to spend the day with him. Time flies, he was ten years old when he, his sister and I moved to Plymouth. Below, is a rare shot of Dearly Beloved and I together, with the famous 'Barbican Prawn' sticking out of my head. We're standing by the Mayflower Steps, where the Pilgrims boarded the Mayflower for America, behind us is the National Marine Aquarium.

We took our son to a restaurant that we know is his kind of place, 'Rocky's' on Southside. Our meal cost more than a week's groceries. If you're interested............how did I do this on protein only? Moule marinere, no bread! Chicken Caesar salad, without croutons, without dressing, without Parmesan and they grilled me some bacon to go with it too! Dearly Beloved and #1 son had Calamari and then burgers with blue cheese and bacon, plus chips!!!! Plus beer! I was good and had water, as, I'm also the designated driver!

It's the first time I've taken my son anywhere in years, I know it was a massive blow out but once in three years can't be bad or anything to feel guilty about. I had my pedometer on too today and we walked for 3.2 miles, so I stuck to the carb free/low fat diet (with the exception of some salad) and I kept to my daily exercise.

RIP

Many years ago (1999/2000), 'Foster Mummy' and I swapped a dressing table, from me, with a Dyson, from herself. It has gone on and on. Today, it died, although I may have helped it on its way...................assisted suicide? Firstly, the electric cable became dodgy and only worked if you pulled and pushed into place, rather like a 'dicky hip'..........sometimes it would work and sometimes it wouldn't! So Dearly Beloved and his trusty tool kit of a roll of Duck Tape, fixed it in place. So for a while, we had a somewhat disabled and limpy Dyson but it hung on.

So the year of the elderly but lame Dyson came to an end today as it worked, then didn't work and then, no matter how much I teased and jiggled its wires...............it just gave up. There's only one thing left for the poor old thing and that's a transplant to become Frankendyson. Dearly Beloved is eBay bidding on a Dyson, which we hope to get for a quid or so, that has a non working motor. He will then perform open Dyson surgery..............assisted by live action 'how to' from You Tube to fit the perfect motor from our Dyson, into the guts of  Dyson with perfect wiring but no functioning motor. Just for the day, Frugal Towers, will become the South West's own Papworth Hospital for buggered Dysons.

He had a good innings, lasted until his 10th birthday and then just gave up, died doing what he loved so much. Bit's of him will live on in the heart of another................but he'll never be the same again.

Sometimes it gets real.

DB is going back to work tomorrow, but my holiday continues. I usually feel crashing guilt about the time I have off and he feels resentful that I can loaf around and make cakes, jam and quilts. So, we're annoying each other today..............relationships are like that. When that happens I just have to remember that when I'm at home tomorrow, doing what I like, that I will miss him. So DB, just remember that when I irritate you too xxxx Of course we're real, it's what happens to us.




"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." "Does it hurt?" asked the rabbit. "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." "Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" "It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." -By Margery Williams, from The Velveteen rabbit

One good turn deserves another

Bobby Dazzler and Scruffy do not shed their hair as they are both Bichons, Bob, is a Bichon Maltese and Scruffy is a Bichon Frise.

We have discovered the most fantastic dog loving groomers who are in Dobwalls, which is close to Liskeard.......Christine and Gary at OLIVER'S

They are such genuine people, who lavished time and care to ensure that my needy whiny big dog had all the time he needed to not get stressed when he had his hair cut.

They were enthralled by our 'boys' and gave them the run of their house, whilst they cut their hair.

Bob is the real poseur! He'll have his hair done every day if he had his way!

I'm sure, if he had a pedigree, that he would love being shown.

I'm so fond of the little guy, that I've managed to upload him twice, and I can't delete him!

Even Scruffy, who is the most whiny, needy, biggest baby you'll ever meet, was completely calm when in Chris and Gary's care.

I'm not sure many groomers would allow their 'customers' their plush leather sofas for a casual lounge whilst waiting for their owners to collect them!

So, once again. I'd like to thank Chris and Gary, for taking such care of my guys, making them look so fab and treating them with such kindness.

Bob and Scruff have had a long trip to Plymouth in the past to have their 'hair do's' and now that is a thing of the past. My thanks again to Gary and Chris and we'll see you both in a few weeks, when the 'boys' are back for their next hair cut and thanks for treating them so well!

What would you run through fire for?

This is me and four and a half year old Jo and my most precious photo and yes, I would run back into a burning house to rescue this picture. We're not close anymore, but she slept with me until she was well into her teens if anything bothered her! Like I did my mum! I miss her today xx

Sometimes it's not right to be frugal!

I try to see my daughter as much as I can, but sometimes I get turned away. Sometimes, I make arrangements to see her, turn up, ring the door bell of an empty house and she's not there. Sometimes we make arrangements to go out for the day and at the last minute we get a text cancelling. Nonetheless, we never give up. Today she turned up and all was well.

Her illness has a cruelty that eats away at her, traps her, sends her to such dark places and only allows her into the real world on odd occasions. Today we got to share one of those odd occasions. We went shopping today to buy Jo new clothes and she was sunny, chatty and easy to be with. I'm totally broke but Jo, I'm sure, will be cheered by looking and feeling better in lighter summer clothes and even allowed herself flip flops and a dress! For a girl who lives in combats, boots and a huge dark coat; she sparkled with the fun of the occasion today and for just a few hours allowed me to have moments with my little girl.

When I look back at their childhood, and the sunny child who loved life; I battle with the what ifs; the personal guilt and ask myself over and over what I did wrong and how I could have made it better. Jo has been ill since she was fourteen and she will be eighteen in December.

A while ago, I was in a busy branch of B&Q, and we sat and had a coffee to break up the shopping trip. A young mum, with a cluster of small children, struggled to get them into highchairs and sat to the table so she could give them a drink. I felt for the poor woman as she did have her hands full. On that day, like today, if God could grant me just one wish; it would be to have just five minutes with my children at a young age again.

The good, the bad and the smelly

Short blog tonight. Back to school tomorrow so lesson planning tonight. Mum in law is staying with us, which is good. Up all night completing my lesson planning........the bad. Mum in law has an elderly but lovely dog and she's in a bad way. Dearly Beloved has bathed her, cut all her tangled hair off and cut all of her claws to a sensible length. I'm sure she feels much better now. It's lovely to have mum here but so sad to see how much she has declined. We'll all get old one day..........even our dogs.

Bargain three course family lunch £2.85 including wine

My first baby was born twenty four years ago (on the 7th of May) and my life changed for ever. It was extremely hard bringing that wee boy up, virtually on my own as his own father ignored his existence but every single struggle was worth it. My dad was delighted that his first grandchild was born on his birthday. We had a family get together today and I splashed out and lunch including wine was £2.85 per person, which is a great deal cheaper than taking everyone to the pub for lunch. Our menu? Caesar salad, followed by Roast Pork and all the trimmings finished off with homemade lemon meringue pie.
I followed the recipe on the BBC website from the Hairy Biker's programme and it was incredibly simple to make, albeit a bit expensive as it needed five eggs, but a delicious treat for a birthday. I tried my first attempt at 'blind baking' the tart case and then made the lemon filling, below is the lemon sauce in a cold water bath as I cooled it down before adding the egg yolks, which not only thicken it but give the lemon sauce a beautiful golden colour.


The final product tasted a lot better than it looked but it was a triumph as everyone enjoyed it. I really love a salad to start with and as I have recently perfected a cheap and simple Caesar dressing, it was easy to have this to start with. I used a some of the gammon which I cubed and fried until crispy along with the croutons, which I fried in oil infused with garlic. A light sprinkle of freshly grated Parmesan finished this perfectly. So here we all are and Dearly Beloved is taking the photo, Dad at the head of the table - born in May 1939! yes he is 71! My son back from working away in Leek, Staffordshire, his girl friend Shelley, my mum, our lovely girly Josie and me! A delicious but frugal feast to celebrate their 24th and 71st birthdays.

Maybe.........you're gonna be the one that saves me!

We met, in a crowded pub in Bath almost twenty one years ago. I was carving out my first career in catering and running a busy pub, I had a sparky young team who always wanted to get the pub closed as quickly as possible to get to the clubs . They were heady days when my team of young cooks, bar staff and waiters would often work a twelve hours non-stop shift and be ready to hit the clubs for a night out when we finished work at midnight! Our average age was 23 and I never knew that one of those friends would introduce me to the love of my life.

I seem to have lost ten years of my life somewhere or maybe I've chosen to forget a lot of it but meeting Dearly Beloved truly brought me back to life.





I attribute all of my happiness, my resilience, my positivity to him. I am what I am because he has encouraged me to be all I can be. This is my forty fifth year on this planet and I've never been happier, more loved and desired and more able to face every challenge that comes my way. It's May tomorrow and we got together in May in 1996 (Remember Euro '96? We do, it's etched in our psyche) which makes this a whole month to celebrate just being us. Enjoy what must be the SOUND of '96

Beautiful day!

Cornwall has lots of 'feast days'. Each town has one. There are games, sometimes a carnival, an evening concert and in the midst of it all there is a 'tea'. A huge spread. Massive aluminium teapots, plates piled high with sandwiches, cakes and pasties. The children all sit at tables whilst the adults mill around. There's a fancy dress parade, prizes and usually a disco in the evening. They have them in the villages surrounding Liskeard, which instead has a grander affair of a 'carnival week'. Today is our own feast day. My daughter and her boyfriend are here for the weekend and they have amused themselves with books and films, they've been for a wander and it's been lovely having visitors in the house.
I've cooked for them and fussed over them all weekend. Still stuck to the usual budgets. Today I cooked pork steaks, with roast potatoes, stuffing and veggies with gravy and followed with tarte tatin and custard. They are now lolling in the summer house, unable to move after eating so much! Even though the rain is set to return, it's been a glorious weekend.

Table for two?

My frugal table is always laid for supper, even if it's just the two of us.
Dinner tonight was some faggots, that I'de made before and frozen, a couple of 5p bread rolls (reduced and frozen until wanted) and reduced price green beans, from the Co-op. Some 'cheapy' label tinned pears (10p) and same brand custard (4p) for dessert. The old faithful cloth napkins and fifteen year old table mats and cutlery do us fine. Nonetheless, dinner for a family, whether the nest is flown or there is a house full, tastes so much better when eaten in comfort, with good conversation and at leisure. Supper, was well under £1 but the dining experience always makes me feel rich.

dearly beloved!

Nope, it's not our wedding! I have said..........as soon as we can afford it, we'll get married and we've never been able to afford the cake let alone the wedding. Here dearly beloved is an usher as his friend's wedding and we're watching the bride and groom on the steps of the hotel having their photo taken. Normally he's just mentioned in passing but today he gets the full page.

We met, an incredible twenty four years ago; we led different lives then. I was married with a small boy, running my own business in Bath and he was the friend of a friend. We didn't meet again for nine years until I was getting divorced and through the same friends we met up again and the rest is history.

He truly is the most incredible bloke who has supported me through some very thin times and took me and my two children to his heart and cared for our every need for many years whilst I was at college and then training to become a teacher. His positivity is endless and he has cheered me on at every mile stone and gone without so much himself and has never once complained. As we go through yet another thin time, he is as ever, incredibly supportive and loving. I thought I would list everything he has done for me.

Supported my two children and they have been sent on school trips and holiday, had music lessons, had wonderful birthdays and Christmases at his expense.
Gone without everything himself to pay for my children.
Gone without everything to support me through college.
Coped when both my children were teenagers and were extremely difficult.
Renovated two houses and learnt every skill to do it on the job.
Supported me to lose weight and loved me just as much when I put it all back on again.
Had a vasectomy, even though he has no children of his own, as I knew my family was complete.
Found the money somehow to pay for a barrister when my ex tried to get custody of the children.
Followed me and moved when I got a promotion
Who reads my blog every day and I know he will read this...................he really is incredible, supportive, loyal and truly my best friend and this blog is to honour him because he is dearly beloved.

In the blink of an eye

After my son's visit on Sunday I was left thinking about my click here daughter and how I haven't seen her in ages. "Slipping through my fingers - Abba"

She was a beautiful baby and as she laid in my arms only minutes after being born; I thought my life was complete. Mywonderful boy and my gorgeous girl! She was the baby who never cried, who slept all night and without comparison, was as beautiful as a summer's day. She truly was the happiest child who never cried, who skipped the terrible twos, who danced into school and loved the very essence of life.


At six years old she had a fiery independence and will to take the world by the throat and shake it! If she wanted to skate in the dark for one more hour; there was nothing anyone could do to stop her. There was a turning point with her at four years old when she started school where the world 'got at her' and she no longer felt like mine and I knew, from an early age that there was little I could do to change how she felt or the path she wanted to take.


By the age of eight a sadness had decended that engulfed her like a cloud that could suffocate her at times and it took another eight years for depression to be diagnosed and eventually fluoxetine finally took her away from me.

She's in a 'rough' place right now and no one else is allowed in. Sometimes we get a glint of the sunnier side of her being.

I had a text on Sunday and I keep reading it and reading it and reading it and although it just says "Happy Mother's Day" those words are as precious as the hug I got from my son and I know she has the strength of character to be OK in the end and she survives as best she can and her life is what she makes it. The end result is a daughter, who is nearly eighteen and still as comparable as a summer's day but more lovely and more temperate.