Admirable Arses

Not to be confused with Admiral Ass, who my mother dated in the late 70's and who taught me for the first time that bad behavior in brass buttons became EVIL, and that it would be better to stick to admitted bad boys, as at least there was integrity to that. But I digress...

I am participating this month in Blogging from A to Z (and you all can too, if you want to!!!) If we blog every day but Sunday, we can get through the alphabet in April, so my list of blog topics goes something like this: Admirable Asses, Beautiful Bums, Cute Cheeks, Delightful Derrieres, Euphoric Ends, Fabulous Fannies (though I know in Australia this last one is much naughtier than the US take), Glamorous Gluts, Happy Hineys... you get the picture...

HA! April Fools!

Well, not about the Blogging from A to Z. Only about talking about butts every day, because while a Tart enjoys her some admirable arses, there is only so much that needs to be said...



Before I get to the real topic at hand though, I should note that the WORD arse, not widely used in the US, is one I nevertheless LIKE, and was reminded of yesterday when I visited



The Alliterative Allomorph, who had a sidebar with definitions she prefers (over the real ones). This was my favorite:





Arsenic: a cut on the bum



*snort * FABULOUS.  You should go check out the others.

Okay, now we can stop being pranky and get on with the blog and the OTHER topic But FIRST, here are some things I am NOT blogging about, even though on the A day, it would be appropropriate:



Atilla, Adolf or Anthony (too violent)

Artichokes, Asparagus, or apricots (like them all, but, what's to say?)

Aardvarks, Armadillos or Anteaters (love them, but know little)

Apostrophes, Alliteration, & Acronyms (though I admit to at least one fetish here)



Also not blogging about Antarctica, Antwerp, Alaska, Alexandria, Australia, Alabama, or Austria. I've never been.



So what AM I going to discuss?

Attributing Attitude & Amor

You see, writers get to do these things (in fact MISattributing is my favorite thing to do). We get to instill personality and motivation in our characters. We can ALSO give them admirable arses, but frankly, that is more interesting on the movie screen. Beautiful characters mostly annoy me (that reverse snob thing triggered by Admiral Ass at work, you see—if it looks good, it is in some way EVIL (or in the case of beautiful people, probably simply lacks depth)) No way, Jose. Appealing, yes. Attractive? Not my thing (unless they have a sufficiently naughty gleam in their eye, anyway—then at least they are being honest about it.)



Ha! There I go digressing again!



Anyway, attitude is an excellent way to show personality. It's the outward manifestation—someone can be a smart alec, or a snob, or (like their author *cough*) exhibit REVERSE snobbery. One can (like Admiral Ass) be an arrogant bacon-forker (read: nincompoop) who is not REALLY separated from his wife and is BEGGING to someday be a murder victim in a novel because that is JUST the kind of set up needed to have at least 45 people want to kill you (if you count the families of both spurned women and the other guys in line to date the single chick).



And that touches on AMOR. Aside from money, love seems to provide the strongest motivator—in fact there is a whole category, called crimes of passion, and honey... that is about AMOR! (whether jealousy, possessiveness, betrayal...) matters of the heart make for GREAT literature!





Okay, so there wasn't all that much to say on that because I was busy being silly, but HEY, April Fools doesn't fall on Delusional Thursday all that often, so I am entitled to my little games, ne?