Anxiety Dreams

In the wee hours of Monday morning I found myself in a frantic state. I couldn't find the shoes to go with... wait. My outfit kept changing—people (the many people I mysteriously lived with) kept running off with the accessories I needed.. ( I KNEW there was a reason I became a nudist!) Where was my schedule? Damn! I couldn't even remember home room! The shower wouldn't work. Where did the time keep slipping? Why did the notebook and pen keep disappearing. How could I go to class?!

Why the heck am I having anxiety dreams about school starting?



Maybe because... erm... School's starting? Not for ME of course, but I have COMMITED to several starting type activities, so I am falling into that boat, too.



I have some beliefs about anxiety dreams, and I am going to share them with you.





Why They Happen



A mind with too much to keep track of decides to torture us further by ensuring our SLEEP is not restful and we never get a chance to recover. Aren't minds evil? And here I was SURE I was only naughty.



So I need to deal with how much I have to deal with, on top of dealing with what I have to deal with. Is this the definition of SUCK or what?



I can't come up with any biological benefit whatsoever of these dreams, unless, like a drug addict, my body is craving adrenaline, which is possible. Though honestly, I'd prefer I dreamed I injured myself and got a nice dose of endorphines. Natural pain killer would be pretty sweet about now.





Anxiety and Writing



Not happening. Anxiety saps creative juices FAST. Why do you think writing and QUERYING go together so badly? FORTUNATELY, writing and EDITING seem to get along pretty well. They are the obnoxious people you invite to the party who are making embarrassing gestures in the corner and nobody wants to be near, but after the party, they are all anyone wants to talk about. Happy people are so much less memorable than the paranoid or the twitchy.



So Anxiety, DO YOUR WORST! I can take you! (provided I get to call the venue, and I am calling the pudding pool, or wrestling).



How does a person HANDLE anxiety?

DUH! By making LISTS!!!!

Oh, I know, lists are fun, and anxiety isn't supposed to be fun, but this is my party, so there.

To Do: Work



THE FREAKING GRANT

Finish the data merge

Analyze THAT data

IRB for that one study

Hire students for the year

Get those three papers written (ouch—this means I'm behind)

Keep up with the recruiting *yaks hairball*



To Do: KIDS



Fill out all start of work paperwork

Write checks

Find money to cover checks

Argue with spouse because that seems to be par for the course

Money (that I don't have) into school lunch accounts

Buy school supplies

Get daughter to daily doubles for Hill Week (Swimming)

Read the paperwork that DIDN'T need to go back

To Do: Home



Finish laundry (is this EVER done?)

Clean cat box

Update spyware on both computers

Find basement floor

Do single mom makes dinner thing (hubby has Tuesday night class)



To Do: Writing



Finish first edits Chapters 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

Enter first edits 12-21

Work in BIG edits

Get book to first set of 'full book' readers

Print out book on one of young minions for beta reading

Buy tissues for said book, as I have some idea what to expect

Catch up on blog reading.





To Do: Eating/Fitness



COUNT POINTS COUNT POINTS COUNT POINTS

Assessment of cupboards for foods that would make this all easier

A little meditation and that acupressure thing to get in the ZONE.





I guess my only effective method of dealing with anxiety is head on. That is why the lists sort of work. How about all of you? Anyone have any secret tricks besides denial?



And GOOD LUCK to any of you starting new endeavors for the school year!