It's time for a reality check. Besides, I can hardly call these confessions without... you know... confessing.
My weight is up this week—2 pounds—undoing the last two weeks worth of losses because it was ALREADY going slow. But I KNOW what happened.
I only ate within points two of seven days and last night (the eve before weigh in) I had POTATO CHIPS—I have been hungry, crabby, and craving bad food. It's time for a little self analysis. (and it isn't some brand new thing—the last two weeks I've been doing a somewhat half-assed) Without a little psycho-analysis, I can't change this.
Pity Party
I gotta be honest. I'm feeling a little sorry for myself. My day job (as happens every year at this time, by the way) has gotten REALLY BUSY. There is not time in a regular work day to finish everything—COULD. NOT. HAPPEN. In a past life, I would resign myself to give up a Saturday—maybe even a whole weekend or two, to just get caught up and call it good. It would make life so much easier.
But you see, I'm writing a book (make that, another book)... I am no longer willing to work overtime except under HARD deadline, and these are soft deadlines—just too large a stack—not something I'm actually late with.
In addition to making me feel sorry for myself, it also brings me HOME wanting 1) a drink or three 2) satisfaction (not so willing to be a little hungry when I've had such a crazy day).
The HOME has its own layer of stress-- my daughter's schedule has been NUTS (two sports and driver's ed on top of homework, school, etc.), my husband and his whole quit smoking thing (successful thus far) has a shorter fuse, so is less patient with my neglect of the HOUSE—I know, I know—shouldn't neglect it, but it is what falls off when I am deeply engaged in so much else).
So How Can I Succeed Anyway?
The work pile is not going away, not until after my May meeting, possibly not until after my August meeting (the first in Baltimore, the second in Montreal, if anyone is conveniently located)... We are presenting at both and so there is a lot of prep required on top of the day job. So the stress reduction is an impossibility. I can think of two things I think I need to add.
I think an increase in intensity may be called for—the reason? Endorphins and stress, oddly enough. I currently exercise a respectable amount, but I know for a fact, if I was running instead, there is a carryover from that. May very well help matters.
Make it Easy
I plan to make black beans tomorrow so I can have my 'in a pot, filling, low point' lunch option. If I'm going to be 'unable to help myself' in some fashion in the evening, then ensuring my daytime points are on the low side, means I can make sure my totals are within range so I don't get discouraged. Because getting discouraged is when I quit.
A Little History Reminder
Since I started this job, EVERY YEAR I have started a diet in January with varying success. This year is the best I've done (nearly 30 pounds so far) but this is the time of year I ALWAYS fall down. I REALLY NEED this due diligence to be effective—hopefully the blog will help (always helps to be accountable), hopefully the momentum will help. But it's time...
We only succeed when we dig in and face our obstacles head on, yes? So here goes nothin'...