“Mo-o-om, where's dad's camera case?” (I heard this as camera and case)
Response: find camera next to my laptop, put in case, hand off to daughter.
“No-o-o; I don't nee-ee-ed the caaaa-mer-a.”
Response: remove camera from case, hand daughter case, noting boyfriend (hers, not mine) lurking quietly in corner; I exit, shout from top of stairs, “I need to do some laundry!”
“They're not the-ere!”
“They're there.”
“No, I looked. They're not there!”
“They are. I saw them.”
“Theyyyyyyyy're no-o-ot there!”
“Mo-o-om!” (daughter, upstairs again, though I am now in basement noting the hubby is well trained... all laundry is going. Consider favors to bestow on him. Jerk self back to reality.)
Response: “What?!” (shouted through floor)
“Come he-ere!”
Response: Climb stairs, from living room shout, “What?”
“Call D**** and ask her to get them for you.”
“No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o, I have to have them! I can't swim when I'm in Idaho.”
Response: fetch own personal goggles from room and bring to daughter.
“No these are crap!” (note the short crisp words of rejection--crap is not a word one needs to drag out)
Response: Deep breathe in effort to not strangle daughter. Return goggles to my room.
“Then I'm not swimming!”
Response: Ingore ingrate.
“Mo-o-om!” (from basement) “Where are my skinny jeans?”
Hubby the saint: “I put everything in the laundry because Sam wanted those jeans.” (remember I was considering considerable favors)
AHA! PROOF!
“Momyouneedtotakemetothestorefordeoderant.”
“We have...”
“No, no, no; it'sCRAP!”
“It's fine. We've got three of the Secrets.”
“SmellslikeCRAP.”
*heavy sigh *
“I'll tell you what. You can just give me my money you owe me, and we will go.”
*deep breathing* "We will go after dinner. I will get you guys some snacks, too.”
(Son has arrived upstairs, begins hopping) “Snacks? Snacks? What kind of snacks?” (still bouncing: son likes snacks)
“Mostly healthy. It's breakfast time. But maybe a pack of Pop Tarts or something.”
“Yes!”
******
I'd like to say it ended there, but in actuality, it continues as you read. Fortunately, I pass them off at 7am, and they are somebody ELSE'S problem for a week. Not that I won't hear about anything they do that indicates bad parenting, but I DO know they behave better away from me, at least for a couple days.
But for NOW... I have a week off... at least during my down time. I plan to FINALLY finish typing my Cozy, and hopefully make SIGNIFICANT progress on the editing.
So Happy HING Day!!!!